Have you ever felt the irresistible urge to converse with friendly woodland creatures?
Have you ever felt like making gowns out of patterned curtains?
Fear not, ( possibly gay ) boys and girls! You're not alone out there, in fact you're in pretty good company. Snow White has done it. Aurora has done it. Ariel has done it. And yes, Giselle ( the almost princess ) has done it too.
Though after stumbling through a magical portal ( with the help of a wicked old hag stepmother ) from her enchanted land of Andalasia to the much grittier environs of downtown New York, our poor Giselle might find it a little more taxing getting the grumpy animals here to cooperate in the real world where there's never really a happily-ever-after. Not to worry though since in true magical Disney fashion, she's given a helping hand by a handsome prince in this hilarious parody of the entire fairy tale oeuvre. Get ready to be Enchanted.
In modern-day bourgeouis America days though, a prince turns out to be a high-powered Manhattan divorce lawyer played by the suitably mcdreamy Patrick Dempsey. A tad cynical with life as a struggling widower with chubby child in tow, he isn't all that pleased to find a real life princess ( and her accompanying entourage of cheery forest creatures ) falling heedlessly into his lap. Like him though, I wouldn't have been amused to find my bathtub being zealously scoured by a legion of cockroaches - or my matching curtains being chopped to pieces for instant couture.
Giselle : I made a new dress!
Paul : You fucked up my curtains! You singlehandedly destroyed the interior decor statement I was trying to make! For that you have to die!
Giselle : Help me, my forest creatures! La la la la...
Paul : They can't hear you singing. The rabbits and magpies are roasting in the oven for dinner! I intend to serve them with parsley.
Giselle : Oh no! No!
Paul : Have a last supper. Satisfy yourself with this shiny red apple.
Giselle : Thanks. I was feeling a little hungry. Mmm.. it's delicious and... *Ack* *Ack*
Paul : And it's poisoned. *Cackles* Now Robert is mine!
Fortunately I'm not the prince in this story.
He finds himself reluctantly charmed by the perky Giselle's inexplicable ability to draw in the hapless crowd to sing and dance with her in Central Park ( along with the passing mariachi singers and Jamaican crooners ). Even elderly geriatrics find themselves rejuvenated and dropping their walkers to twist and shout.
Still it's McDreamy! So despite the fact that I'm still staunchly against twiddling my thumbs waiting for princes charming, I gotta admit I wouldn't have minded getting swept off my feet by him! I mean, wealthy lawyer with fabulous apartment ( well after the animal / insect co-op rushed over for a hectic spring cleaning ), perfect hair and the most amazing overcoat! Not to mention that better-than-fairy-godmother emergency - possibly limitless - credit card. Hell, I'm almost tempted to rush the stage and spontaneously deliver a romantic ballad.
Of course Zany Zinedine beat me to it :)
No worries though since there's always Jon McLaughlin to help me get through the disappointment ( he plays the singer in the orchestra at the end of the show ). How's that for super-keen eyesight? Yes, I'm gifted with the ability to spot a good-looking man a mile away.