If anyone wants a life full of adventure, suspense and mystery, you need not look any further.
For some unfathomable reason, seems like I might soon be plunged into a deep morass of deceit and duplicity especially since Charming Calvin took note of my secret engagement plans ( well not all that secret anymore ). The idea pleased him somewhat although he did remind me that there be dragons. According to my usually silent partner, any such public announcement would possibly have me at loggerheads with his formidable mother, possibly the Asian reincarnation of the aforementioned Lady Borgia. Seems like I'll be in her black books for trying to educate her innocent scion in all the despicably low, sinful ways of the Sodomite.
Zounds! That's me! The wicked corrupter of the patently unspoilt! Always been an oddly contrary fellow. Once already tarred and feathered, I don't see any use in trying to reclaim any lost reputation... why not be as despicable as possible. :P
Sounds like I'll have to start sharpening my hidden dagger soon. Or if all else fails, away we fly to the anvil at Gretna!