Sunday, October 01, 2006

Foreign Matters

Immigrants always bear the brunt.

Seriously. Ever since some bright spark in prehistoric times decided to take a blissful joyride on that floating log in the rushing river, people have been been on the gadabout - travelling constantly from place to place and occasionally setting up camp and willingly remaining stranded in a foreign land. Fortunately these days we can depend on far more reliant methods than a rickety waterlogged branch.

Braving the dangers of the roaring river and killer piranhas wouldn't be the worst of his predicaments of course since the moment that adventurous soul disembarks from his trusty log onto foreign soil, he'll be faced with the suspicious, unwelcoming stares of the natives.

Probably an animal survival instinct, we have always been suspicious of the untested, untried and unknown. Even more so when it's a relative stranger from abroad who's come deliberately a-knocking at our proverbial door in search of a new job - and a better life.

After a few months or so of overworking the sod till the point of starvation, we start laying blame at the poor fella's door instead. Dirt and disease. Famine and failures. Rape and robberies. Let's not deny the unfortunate fact that more than a few of the so-called foreign workers have veered off the righteous path in search of the easier ( albeit desperately felonious ) shortcut - but surely there are a handful who are honestly here in search of that promised land.

Lest we forget, almost all of us here are immigrants in a way. Somewhere along the line, our intrepid forefathers once took the path these brave souls are taking now, whether we're from the banks of the Ganges, the hills of Fujian to the hinterlands of Java. Hell, even Adam and Eve must have packed their bags ( probably a fig leaf or two in their Samsonite ) once for their one-way jungle trek out of Paradise so there's hardly anyone who can sufficiently claim that their blue-blooded ancestry dates back to the first living amoebae that ever set pseudopod on that particular piece of land.

So let's not sneer at their hardship.

Myanmar MAN!
Rangoon Ranger

Which is why I say we should all embrace our husky foreign fellows. Especially the more comely ones who have brought a higher level of testosterone goodness to our fair land. Think of the perfect Pakistani pappadam lifting sandbags at the construction site. That virile Vietnamese beef serving you soup in the restaurants. The sexy Surabaya slavegod cleaning the windows during lunch break. God, you gotta know that the whole raging rhethoric had to lead somewhere.

And this doesn't even have to do with the bevy of hunks bathing half-naked on a daily basis at Big Bicep Barry's factory.

Well, this one leads to Beautiful Bhimraj, the indisputable jewel of Rangoon. Fresh out of the verdant forests of the Myanmar, he has made his way here to live a dangerous life as a mall security guard and the moment I saw him, I was this close to offering home, house and hearth to the ravishing dark and beguiling-eyed Rangoon Ranger. Of course, I spoke a few words to him as he in turn stuttered prettily through the few words he possessed - all while I imagined the Rangoon Ranger forcefully slammed against the elevator wall moaning ecstatically as my fingers travelled up his raging Mandalay.

Didn't get his number though since he was obviously the bashful sort - and spoken English didn't seem to be his forte ( looking manly and utterly delectable in a suit was though ). Still, I had some plans for that nightstick of his.

Unfazed by my reprobate behaviour, Charming Calvin only smiled and told me not to be naughty.


matrianklw said...

Wow, that was seriously a very refreshing point of view on our foreign workers or immigrants or whatever. The thing is, we're always looking on down on them and never once paying second attention to them (though I do manage to realise the "virile Vietnamese beef serving you soup in the restaurants" at times and might've gawked at them a little). But your post has certainly managed to change my point of view towards them (and their goal of travelling on that particular piece of log here) and in my humble opinion, it's pretty sweet of you to do. Kind of touching, in fact. Making us all realise that we're all the same and all. Hell, I'm definitely going to pay more attention to them now.

Pete said...

Calvin seems to used to your wild behaviors already eh? :P

nyonyapenang said...

serious, paul. if you decide to write books, pray tell. i'll buy all. ;)

ec said...

reading your blog is very addictive

Maximus Leo said...

Foreign indeed! I did not realised the South East Asian dudes featured here are gods in thier own world. I have to actively look out for them when I'm around the region!! :-)

Sue said...

I must say, you do have a way with words. So, fallen for a mall security guard, have we? And it seems that you have all but promised to have his baby. I have enjoyed immigrant eye candy myself from time to time in my travels. There was this young Filipino fellow with waist long hair that was so sexy. Sigh. It was so long ago.

Anonymous said...

absolutely agree... i'm an equal oprtunity exploiter. believe it or not, one of my goal in life is to sleep with every enthicity out there, with the ever evolving mixture of race and ethicity, i think i wouldn't have a problem of running out of new men to explore.

Annie said...

Better keep Paul on a short leash Charming Calvin. He seems to nibble and sniff too many of these strangers' crotches.

Bad Boy Paul. Bad.

Mark said...

Geez, Paul! I didn't know you could be this aggressive! And you sure have laid out the plan for manhandling this Rangoon Ranger of yours. But yeah, exotic looks are really something. There's some fire in their eyes and a lot of sin in their bodies!

Holden said...

Paul, u better do something about that or write about it. Sounds hot... I am so horny... :P

Anonymous said...

a buffet baron, are we, doctor? heehee. trying all the dishes on the local smorgasbord.

savante said...

:) Matt. Have to have that dose of reality every once in a while :)

Think he got used to it a while back, pete.

I have written some stories, you know nyonya.

Thanks, ec.

Actively find them for me too, ian :P

Let's hear more on that long haired filipino, sue!

Equal opportunity exploiter :) Bwahahahah..

Bad :) But Calvin knows that already , annniieieie....

Don't make me hotter than I am, mark :)

Wrote about it, didn't I holden?

Not trying. Just looking, confusticated. already have my main meal.