Sunday, May 25, 2008
Ministry of UnSound
Seriously.I don't dance. Though I tried my best to shuffle along to the beat as much as I could - especially when I got dragged to the retro dancefloor in the Ministry of Sound by my friends. I mean, twirling disco balls, psychedelic motifs and the ever-present glowing pavement lights. Hello, Studio 54 I know.
And oddly enough that was the name of the club.
After a night out at 54...
As if I didn't feel unsound enough :) Fortunately most of the youthful patrons shaking their derriere on the dancefloor ( not much better than my arthritic movements ) while waving their hands up in the air didn't seem to have done the same back in the 70s. Guess even tertiary kids can still enjoy the Dancing Queen.
Especially since they entered for free. Damn.
There was one guy with the cowboy hat who might have jived with Travolta way back in his hip-shaking heyday though. Heck judging by his jiggly paunch, he might even have grooved to Elvis. But he was a helluva enthusiastic dancer though! Kudos to him I say for proving that age hasn't deterred his happy feet.
Few extreme hotties to be seen. And even then I needed several shots of vodka to make them so. Are all the cute straight guys married? A possible bias but seems like gay men have gotten a serious monopoly on buff guys in super-tight tanks.
Guess I didn't read fag though since I even had one blowsy female patron shaking her overly endowed weapons of destruction right at me. Seriously. Closest encounter with boobies ever.
Female : Dance with me now or I'll suffocate you with my heaving bosom!
Paul : Uhh.. could I finish my vodka first?
And had her black skirt risen up any higher, I might have gotten an opportunity to see her vagina dentata. No doubt she was there to hook one of the many expat guys around but had to settle for me.
Labels: Me
Posted by savante at 11:02 PM
7 comments
Saturday, May 24, 2008
The Doctor and the Janitor
Gosh, I've just realized that I've turned into an elitist bitch.Before this I'd have claimed almost shockingly egalitarian beliefs gleaned from my hippie-wannabe socialista parents who drummed such ideas into us from the crib. It was all about Liberté, Equalité, Fraternité ever since then with my childhood marked with occasional revolts and hunger strikes. All ending with my democratic parents ( their policies waver! ) throwing in their votes to silence our vociferous protests.
And then came adulthood where all my sadly battered ideals went crashing down the proverbial drain. You see, I just found out that my ex-colleague from some years back finally got engaged. Long since put on the shelf as the saying goes, a disappointed Ayesha had already started collecting cats and darning mittens for her lonely retirement - so you can imagine what joy I felt on finally wishing her well on her engagement!
Paul : Wonderful news. So who's the lucky man?
Ayesha : Well, he's the hospital janitor.
Paul : Oh. I wish you all the best.
All very civil, polite and friendly, I swear - felt just like a freaking politician kissing babies. Of course this is what I actually wanted to say.
Paul : Wonderful news. So who's the lucky man?
Ayesha : Yes, he's the hospital janitor.
Paul : You are fucking kidding me. Getting desperate trolling around in the sewers now?
It wasn't my finest moment, I'll admit.
Though I'll admit I wasn't objecting to his social class as much. Well maybe a smidgen. I was thinking more of a meeting of the minds. Or not in their case. Seriously. What would crop up in their conversation? Would they be forever talking abot mundane household matters only? Would they even be able to discuss certain topics and issues intellectually?
Widening differences?
Does it even matter?
Love between persons of different castes or social strata have been in the forefront of literature and poetry - and Bollywood dramas - since forever. Very few have gotten their happy endings unfortunately. Not all the sultry sweat-soaked Hindi songs can possibly bring them together - not without their share of tragedy.
Look at it seriously. Romantic idealists would peek through their rose-tinted glasses and claim that love conquers all. But does it really? We only catch the lovers in the hopeful beginning. After their whirlwind romance settles down, what would Cinderella and the Prince talk about apart from housecleaning chores and pet-husbandry? Would Sleeping Beauty - after a comatose century - be able to catch up with the latest IT trends even with her charming beau around? Would the Mermaid be able to enjoy sashimi and unagi as much as her air-breathing land-lubber husband?
And what would a doctor say to her janitor?
Maybe in their case, they can look past all that. So I'm hopeful for the both of them. Someone tell me I'm an elitist snob who has gotten things all wrong. Maybe - fingers crossed - they could actually make it work.
Maybe love can find a way.
Labels: Issues
Posted by savante at 11:16 PM
10 comments
Friday, May 23, 2008
Mutt Ado About Jonesing
I don't get enraged easily. Friends would say I'm usually a peaceable man. Though like the typical Scorpio, I do get passionate opinions about every issue under the sun, I rarely come to blows with anyone. Well, at least not since high school.
But the other day I almost saw red when someone dissed Indiana Jones. More like dismissed out of hand but it didn't stop my hands from clenching involuntarily.Isn't it amazing how much prestige and allure a legend like Indiana Jones can hold for a boy growing up in that particular era?
Hell, all of us wanted to be Indy battling dastardly no-gooders to rescue the helpless damsel and find the hidden treasure. After all he's an everyday regular joe we can all easily emulate. No alien super strength. No radiation-gifted spidey powers. No mutant gene. And yet our very own Henry Jones Jr saves the world every once so often - with more than a few utterly human mishaps - armed only with his resourcefulness, his fedora hat and his trusty bull-whip.
Not to mention a self-deprecating smirk and a witty quip.
Don't you gotta love a man like that?
Well, step aside Tony Stark cause Indiana Jones is back. Sure, he's aged a bit in the latest installment Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Paunch here. Wrinkle there. White hair all over. But that hasn't made him any less of a hero in my nostalgic eyes.
Though token asian kid Short Round made a much more effective foil in the Temple of Doom, I have no complaints about this film's junior sidekick, Mutt Williams ( played bye the sweetly adorable Shia Labeouf ). Especially since the surprise spoiler makes it quite clear who's going to carry off the famed fedora into the future.
Good God. I traded prep school in good old America for scrubby grave-digging in some third-rate banana republic!
Several things I'd do different though if I were Indy. Bigger bags for one - after all I'd be bargaining with the conniving locals for more lamps and carpets. Trading barbs with sadistic villains for another - sorry but I'd have them decapitated as soon as I possibly could ( unless they are cute and hunky of course - whereupon I shall use them as unwilling sex slaves! ).
And please, all that chasing clues but leaving a candy trail for the baddies? Come on, I'd leave nasty booby traps all over for them to find.
Evil villain : I've got you in my sights.
Paul : Take a step closer then.
Evil villain : You shall die and I - AAARRGGGHHH! Booby trap!
Paul : Gross. Didn't expect his torn arm to go flying like that. Blood stains are so hard to remove! Ooh, wait there's a diamond ring on his finger!
And I'd be sure to pocket some of that gold treasure.
Guess that would make me more evil Nazi villain than All-American hero of course. Eh, I never was that good anyway.
Labels: Entertainment
Posted by savante at 10:14 PM
2 comments
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Students Sexy School
Look, I'm a gay man.Pretty obvious if you've been following my last few posts. But I just had to reiterate that fact. You see, I don't see the unique licentious charm of schoolgirls in uniform - all those buttons, bows and white blouses. Peeking through the blue pinafore for a glimpse of lacy bra isn't going to turn me on. Despite the fact that some grown men do furtively fantasize - no matter how secretly - about such dirty scholarly fetishes.
Then again, give me the reverse and I could possibly drool just a lil. Gotta admit I have had the stray sexual thought when I see a particularly hunky kadult strolling by in school uniform. No doubt some passing fancy in school that I buried deep deep inside only to resurface now.
Don't you think we look hot in prep school uniforms?
But I don't blame the hot-looking teenage boys for trying to entice me with their sweaty muscles inside transparent white shirts. Nor trying to seduce me with their shockingly tight green uniform pants.
Because they are not to blame.
It's all in my perverted lil head.
At least I do admit that. Guess not everyone thinks the same since there are folks out there - specifically the National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia - who are out to declare the school uniform far too licentious for public viewing. According to Munirah Bahari - vice-president of said association, covering up according to Islamic precepts was important to fend off social ills, including rape, sexual harassment and even premarital sex - possibly leading to babies born out of wedlock and prostitution.
Sounds like I'm reading from the Victorian Times circa 1800s but I kid you not.
By reading from their entirely erroneous method of leaping to far-fetched conclusions, don't they know what comes next after covering up with a dresscode to avoid the things they mentioned? That leads to one brilliant mind suggesting placing the women out of harm's way by enforcing a strict curfew. Then another one would come up with the next option which is to have them all cloistered in a convent together.
Lo and behold. No more female students. No more Munirah Bahari as vice-president either. Haven't we all seen this happening before?
Brava, I say.
Sad to note that a number of our students these days are just as close-minded as I imagined. Just exactly what asinine rubbish is being taught to them! Having such a statement coming from a myopic female student herself, I find myself astonished not only by the fact that she said - but also why she hasn't been lynched by half the independent-minded females I know. Come on, what happened to blaming the predatory paedophilic-minded offender? Don't point the finger at the victim dammit. Rape's never the fault of the victim.
I wish they'd just remember that.
And stop blaming the dress.
Labels: Issues
Posted by savante at 10:02 PM
12 comments
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Getting over Barnes
Forget what I said about being independent.If a prince charming ( who incidentally looked like Ben Barnes ) asked me to stay in his fairytale kingdom with the minotaurs and the dwarves, I am so dropping all my lofty ambitions to chase this particular happily-ever-after. Need you even ask?
That wasn't the reply given by Susan Pevensie. Seriously tough gal with impossible standards, I'd say.
Disregard the dwarf. Focus on the prince.
The guy is smokin' hawt ( even in tights! ). The guy is chivalrous. The guy is a prince. What more could a upper-class Brit lassie want? Sure, obviously staying in the Kingdom of Narnia without make-up and perfumes would be intolerable. Let's not forget cleaning after the numerous centaurs and minotaurs leaving their... daily contributions on the castle floor. And I guess regular armed battles in muddy fields must be hell on the embroidered silk gowns.
Of course if I were Queen, I'd have the miserably muddied forest creatures a.k.a. the Talking Beasts sent out to the farm to work. Would be little need for a restive army after my sheer ruthlessness in savagely butchering all my enemies on the spot with a blunt axe ( rather than chatting endlessly about chivalry and nobility ) would send the rest of them cowering in the shadows. Can't do much about the decidedly poor retail experience over in Narnia but Aslan can always transport some designers over with his magical portals. After all, lowly pirates ( i.e. Telmarines ) sneaked over, I'm sure Manolos can do so too.
And yes, I did catch the movie Prince Caspian today with Jaunty Jared and Lanky Lex. Suggested a cosy threesome in the cinema but anything more than popcorn and movies would have gone over poorly with the Victorian prudesome. :P Witness their appalled faces when I mentioned Spin the Bottle during dinner later.
What can I say about the movie? The kids from the previous film are called in to help save their beleguered Narnia yet again - this time from a race of wicked overlords. It was alright for a rainy evening. Certainly different from the more sedate book I remembered reading in primary - yet I didn't find much to complain since most of the details of the Chronicles of Narnia have seriously faded with time. All I can recall are the High Kings and Queens. The rest of the books have congealed into a mess of silver chairs, horses and flying ships.
Of course we all dished about the movie after - but the topic inevitably veered to our friends since we had so much more than that to talk about, especially with our last outing being full of alcohol, skanks and laptops.
Labels: Entertainment
