We all wish we had it. We have all heard about it. We've all known someone who knows someone who can tell with unerring accuracy.
The urban myth of the gaydar has always been there and I wonder how true it really is since telling whether a man is straight or gay can't be all that easy. A man might do the swishy walk, do the stereotypical limp wrist, hell he can do midnight renditions of Cher in a dress and a wig and yet it doesn't mean he's automatically a gay man. Unfortunately, not many of us walk around with little plaques around our necks proclaiming our sexuality ( though it would certainly help :) )
Last time I mentioned this was with Handsome Hui way back when - and I'm still a bit curious about his stand too :) So far, I've been out twice with Big Bicep Berry and I have to admit for all his pretty muscles, the boy has some brains in that head of his. Still unsure about his personal stand on men fucking other men though. If I met a guy online through one of the personals, it would be simple enough since I would be relatively sure that he'd swing my way but meeting a guy at random on the street leaves me in a dilemma. Does wearing hot tees with the sleeves torn off to show his muscles signify gay? Does not being married at 30 mean fag? Does being coy about his age mean queer? Does caring whether he has a sculpted six-pack yell homo?
I like figuring things out so a puzzle obviously drives me crazy.
Although I am sure it would be thought discriminatory, someone should really make a fool-proof test for homosexuality :) There should be a way for single gay men to know for a certainty whether certain hot guys are available for them - or they're blindly chasing the unattainable straight ( but inevitably gay vague ) man. Kinda like a spray-on dye that would turn neon pink on men with the gay gene.
20 comments:
And here I thought pursuing hot guys while trying to find out whether they're straight or otherwise is all part of the FUN ?!!! ;-p
If they're not gay AND if you're "skilled" enough, then maybe you can "turn" them to the dark side ?!!
*feel free to insert an evil laugh here* LOL !!
Well, according to our culture and emphasis on marriage, still being a bachelor even though you've already past your 30s is a definite way telling. As the Malays would call it, "bujang terlajak" or "bujang lapok".
p/s: still contemplating whether I'm commited enough to maintain a blog ?!! My life is not as exciting as yours, Paul. Hehe !!
I still maintain that life would be so much better if all the queers turned purple overnight. It would have to be a violet shade that played off my blue eyes, of course.
Even with a reliable gaydar indicator, one would still have all the thrills and pitfalls of the chase, and the fear of rejection, to get hung up about. Maybe an attraction indicator would be a better bet, so you could tell just how eager (or otherwise) the guy is to jump you as soon as you make your move. But I guess that could make life rather dull after a while.
Scarily enough, I find myself tending toward die-hard Romantic on this. I think if two people are attracted enough towards each other, they'll get through all the obstacles somehow. From that perspective, Paul, maybe what you need is just a good old-fashioned friend to lock you and BBB in a broom cupboard together for a couple of hours ... then you can see what glows in the dark. ;o)
ok. This is something I get really frustrated. Every gay man tells me that sexuality matters. But I don't think so. Is there a chance that people are into you, not your penis? People work so hard to tear down boundary between male/female, now i see gay/straight is emphasized. No offensive. Just some personal opinions.
About gaydar, I watched a short movie called 'Gaydar' starred by the bold gay guy in 'Sex and the City'. He found a gun (gaydar to tell if a guy is straight or gay, or how gay/straight he is) in a yard sell. He tried to use it to test a popular guy in his office, where both men and women are crazy about him. But a lady stopped him and told him if he trid it on him, one of them would be disappointed. Why not just keep the fantasy for both of them. I think it was an interesting movie.
rebel
The urban myth of gaydar.......Hmnn
Somehow, you would get to fine-tune this gaydar if you are surrounded by hot men at the gym!
Hey, I can somehow tell a person is gay or not at the gym..... somehow you just know!
I want one of those sprays... my gaydar is whacked... if I am not attracted to them, I can sooo tell that they're gay but if I am attracted to them, I just cannot tell... dammit...
Perhaps the personal attraction (the hopes and fears) is what clouds the issue. In which case you could get a gay friend who isn't attracted to the guy in question to check him out and see what they think.
Well, it's just a theory ... :o\
There should be a way for single gay men to know for a certainty whether certain hot guys are available for them - or they're blindly chasing the unattainable straight ( but inevitably gay vague ) man.
There'd definitely be a market for a gaydar, alright. Us girls would buy 'em by the truckloads as well...at least I would. Save myself from more heartbreak.
i agree with ru. do the ol' closet test. if he don't come out, you just go right in and do him there :P
Time for Paul to test the water and drop a few superficial debatable opinions about politics or religion....just keep it ambivalent... ;)
I once was gay and I still think I am pushing it,but I acme to a point ain my life asking myself WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT?You hang out with a guy and eventualy you go to bead with him.After that will he call you again,or maybe not..
What is it realy all about,i mean what is the point if you cant have someone who will be there when you need him?
Well i gess thats life,ha..
I have no gaydar at all. Wish I had. I really appreciate it when folks are just upfront about their sexuality and don't leave me guessing.
Strange though, how many gay guys I've really fancied over the years ... maybe it's something about being easy to relate to.
Paul darling
It's not a myth. Mine works more than half the time.
But I don't usually fall for someone whom I know is not gay.
If he's cute and all but straight, I don't give a damn. He's just for eye candy and nothing more. ;P
Though I agree with ru, you should SO get a gay friend to evaluate.
I just wana say that love beeing who I am,that is gay!And Paul get a gay friend and see howit works.I know all of us agree.
Love,
Marcelo :)
My gardar is spot on 61.214% of the time, although I think it would be easier just to show them cue cards with naked pictures on them and see how they respond to the tasty bits...
Love the idea of the cue cards! :oD
My life isn't all that interesting, Ahmad :) I'm sure you could come up with something on a blog. Your theory on Bujang Lapok is the same one I came up with in uni. Any Malay guy above 30 is definitely gay without question.
Michael, purple? Kinda like gay Smurfs in violet?
rebel, I totally understand. We shouldn't place people into neatly labeled boxes but I would hate ogling a guy who's obviously not into me - and never will be.
Getting thrown into a closet with Barry and giving him a massage sounds like a good idea :) Naked cue cards? I'll certainly take that into consideration.
The only gay pals I have in Malacca are the Gay Luck Club. Shall certainly ask for a meeting :)
Paul
Can't you just ask him? "Hey, you enjoy sucking on boy's wieners?" What's the worst that could happen he says no? Then you move on to a new topic of conversation and the friendship continues. If he doesn't and can't deal with you enjoying that particular activity then you probably don't need to hang out with him anyway! Just a thought...and it gets you the answer!
EGL, you are so right. And I am actually working up the guts to confront him... maybe steal a hand into his crotch or something :)
Paul
Paul - better ask before you touch. It might be less exciting, but it avoids lawsuits. :o\
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