Sometimes when I read blogs written by newly minted interns / house officers - relatively fresh neonates in this challenging medical world going through their rotations - I find that I do recognize myself in their colourful descriptions. Talk of insanely hectic morning ward rounds, uncooperative colleagues with the internal backbiting, certain nasty nurses and the inevitable maniacal resident / medical officer. These days, I'm not sure whether I'd be accepted into the kind, helpful resident category or be sent down to the deepest bowels of hells specially populated by entirely diabolical, mephistophelian resident evils. :P
From certain events last night that I recounted to the ever patient Charming Calvin ( with frequent sighs and admonitions from him ), I think I am certainly on my way to being resident evil. :) According to trusted field reports, after that fateful stroke of midnight sweet Dr Paul turns into a vicious resident evil who supposedly barks at menial incompetents, snaps at banal colleagues and eats up gullible interns for breakfast.
Monstrous, I know.
Ooh. What did I do?
Like this poor stammering intern who had the ill fortune to call me up in the wee hours of the morning - after my inevitable metamorphosis to the abovementioned resident evil - to present a supposedly case to me in garbled monosyllables. Not only was I grumpy / groggy from coming in after a complicated caesarean section that bled a literal river of hemoglobin, I then had to contend with a Mumbling Mary who didn't even know her patient's clinical stats.
Paul : And what's the name of the patient?
Mary : Uhh.... let me check.
*frantic rifling of notes*
Paul : Yes?
Mary : Uhh.. I.. uhh.. Madonna Lourdes.
Paul : And what do you want to do with her this morning?
Mary : Uhhh.. she came in yesterday with a complain of pain in the right breast and...
Paul : Sure took your time putting her up but you can skip that. What do you want to do for her?
Mary : Huh? Uhh.. I ... there's a breast abscess and ..
Paul : I & D. Incision and drainage!
Mary : Uhh.. yes.
Paul : Right or left?
Mary : Uhh..
*ever more frantic rifling of notes*
Paul : Never mind that. When was her last meal? Does she have any pertinent medical illnesses? What are her blood investigations?
Mary : Last meal?
Paul : Grrrr....
You can imagine the wanton indiscriminate bloodshed after that seemingly innocent remark. Was I right to give the poor gel a thorough reaming?
BTW of course there's no such patient with that name. Anonymity and all that.