Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Coming out

Isn't it weird that the oddest coincidences can trigger sudden epiphanies? Just as I watched Brooke Davis pack up her bags to move while chattering mindlessly ( bet most of you didn't know I'm a closet fan of One Tree Hill ) I realized that I've been blogging almost for two years now.

And Good God, judging by the sheer volume of posts I've written, seems like it's been a pretty eventful two years. Not only have I gotten a place of my own ( and still in the midst of redecorating! ), I've also embarked on a life-changing course in my career and also somehow or rather amazingly fumbled my way through several relationship mishaps to having a charming ( though peculiarly sleepaholic ) boyfriend.

Along the way I've also bought out Kinokuniya but that's something else entirely :P

Deep thoughts
Something to think about...

Seems like it's about time I announced to everyone I know that I'm a happy homosexual - and true enough, that's happening albeit in slow stages coming out to my friends and colleagues. Moving up in increasingly painful steps to my close family - despite the resounding nays from Charming Calvin who frequently insists that blissful ignorance can be preferable. Since he's had his own terribly horrific, near-nightmarish experiences to recount, no doubt he is fully qualified to speak on the painful subject of coming out of the asian closet.

With the bulldog persistence of my parents in getting me uncomfortably hitched to the nearest vestal virgin possibly poached from neighbouring Vietnam, I am not sure how long I'll be able to withstand frequent diatribes on the state of my bachelorhood. Bad enough that my mother currently assumes that I have a strict though incomprehensible aversion to the institution of marriage - an erroneous conclusion since it's actually the opposite! :)

Everyone has their own experiences in coming out after all. Most of mine have been relatively benign so far with very few raising arms to protest against the sheer blasphemy of idol-worshipping homosexuals. Shalom did raise her hand but I think it probably was to signal the waiter. Hell, it has actually made me freer to gossip about deliciously hot men with Shameless Shalom - though I'm still not sure if I'd be able to talk her into a deliberate Swan makeover :)

Doubt any coming out has invited so much scrutiny online as the one currently experienced by poor Strapping Shane. Not only do his doting parents patronize his erstwhile blog, his pesky siblings have also been known to take a peek or two at his hard disk too. Seriously? Not sure if there's any closet left to come out of after all that :) Certainly triggers a surprising amount of family togetherness though.

Not entirely surprised that his concerned parents have their reservations about the path their son has chosen since I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Come on, it's certainly no easy path strewn with sweet-smelling roses and shiny discoballs - quite the grim opposite in fact. Possibly alone. Probably childless ( puppies and kittens don't count dammit ). Maybe friendless and mercilessly hounded by society at large.

Why in hell would anyone choose this?

But then again, we've all always known that it wasn't really much of a choice.

19 comments:

Strapping.Shane said...

I'm going to start a club with Calvin - and together... we're going to promote: NOT COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET.

EVER!

danielhenry said...

cuz acceptance is nice. and it's partially romantic...

matrianklw said...

I agree! It's not by choice! =P. I've kinda gotten used to be "hounded by society at large" already... Doubt it will make a difference. Coming out of the closet is hard. =(

And OMG, you watch One Tree Hill? Never expected it!

nyonyapenang said...

i would be easier to just remain in the closet. buden, you might just die.
live life!

Anonymous said...

well, i suppose it's easier when you personally disdain society at large. barbs don't hurt when you can ignore the wounds, i suppose.

woot.

Ban said...

Hmmm. There's probably an art to it. Like a training manual.

I'm sleepy

Anonymous said...

only time will decide whther i'll come out or otherwise.

but i've warned my mom that there'd only be FIVE weddings in the family instead of SIX! i hope she'll get the picture.

Anonymous said...

Paul Darling,

When there's just too many busy body relatives who is waiting to confirm their ill feeling of you and watching your everymore...better stay in the closet darling..better stay in...

acceptance is great, but nosy relatives can't wait to see you fall from grace..

buzz buzz

snowdrop said...

hmm... coming out to parents? tread carefully, paul, tread carefully.

Ajaxxboi said...

that's way true...acceptance is a hard thing goin on but keeping it inside is even harder...there's a gay channel here called LOGO TV which features Coming Out Stories which are pretty neat stuff to hear...such an emotional show and gratifying one...go LOGOTV.COM or IFILM to have a look at what this channel has got to offer!

Anonymous said...

I've slammed the closet door shut on my fingers...

Jake said...

"Come on, it's certainly no easy path strewn with sweet-smelling roses..."

True...but the path we walk does have it's own, enticing aromas...

1) sweat
2) cum
3) Le Male
4) all of the above mixed together...........(giggle no link to this one guys...)

And how dare you think the path we walk isn't strewn with "shiny disco balls"...pft...??!??

That's where the beginning of all of the aforementioned scents begin!!! **evil grin**

Come on out...start enjoying yourself...if anyone currently in your life can't accept you for you... that's their mistake... Who, When, Where, and how you fuck...is your business...no one elses...hold your head up high...(both of them)...and BE YOURSELF!!!

Luv ya lots...

Perky said...

Why does one want to come out of the closet?
Although relationships are only between 2 ppl, somehow it's nicer if you get to share it with ppl you love... which is why we work so hard to be accepted.

Ajaxxboi said...

Hey Paul...nice to see u goin out with me best buddy from High skool, I was like Wtf...he "came out" ! Thanks for the support man!~

Stephen said...

Well...

I can't offer any advice on coming out to parents - mine asked me (it's a long story involving a lot of family tragedy). And I realise that there are few places in the world as gay-friendly as Europe.

What I can say is that life with your family is so much better when you are out to them all. I've even been out on the scene with my sister and her bf, and cousins (mind you one of my cousins came out himself a couple of years ago). They go through a period of wondering if you are going to start wearing a dress, but it doesn't take long before everyone realises that you are exactly the same person you were before - just they know a bit more about that person now.

Anonymous said...

I agree that it's ridiculous to think that we would "choose" to be gay when we were mere toddling (but fabulous) young'uns. But if I had my life over, I'd choose to be gay over straight anytime. If there's one thing I would change, it's that I wished I'd come out to the people whom I care, cared about sooner.

Anonymous said...

Paul, I love you just the way you are!

k said...

one tree hill rocks. is it possible to fall in love over and over again with chad micheal murray?

anyway i've always felt like i owe it to my parents to let them know. after all you'll nvr know how they'll take it. if its bad...well its bad. but if they're ok then think of how great that would be. bringing the bf back for cny, christmas...but i dont think i'll ever have the guts so...lol

R*Y A N said...

you can't choose to be gay, but you can certainly choose to be fabulous!

the power is yours, my friend. :)