Late Night Confessions

People these days seem to be peculiarly averse to taking responsibility for their own actions, whether it's blaming their irresponsible parents for some innocuous action in their childhood to arguing that their strained circumstances led to their antisocial behaviour. Talk shows are full of problematic souls seeking salvation. Demonic children go on a killing spree in schools and blame is placed squarely on teen peer pressure, parental negligence and so on and so forth. In time who knows... they might even go all the way back and point the accusing finger at the blameless obstetrician for botching the delivery - therefore condemning the little monster to a life of crime.

Good God, get some freaking balls and take some responsibility dammit. Blame yourself. You did the crime, now do the time.


Take responsibility and let us help you...
Obviously such snivelling cowardly behaviour extends to a certain group of patients who simply refuse to admit culpability. Finding excuses for their foolish misdemeanours, a dramatic few even start spinning fanciful fables that even Neil Gaiman would be impressed with. What did they think during their tearful confession? That we'd drag them off kicking and screaming to the police station?

The I'm a Virgin Scam

Sure, it's easy enough to claim such pure innocence since it'd be pretty hard to prove otherwise - but when you're heavily swollen with child at 36 weeks?! Seriously doubt divine angelic hosts came down from upon high to spread the good news so please don't claim to be the newly minted Madonna with the Immaculate Conception. At least go find Joseph first.

Some claim that they didn't even know that there was a baby in there - some wind or indigestion perhaps. Seriously, that little fetus kicking, twirling and enacting the limbo rock in there didn't give a clue? What was that again, maybe your intestines had a heartbeat?

And they sometimes claim they didn't know how they'd gotten pregnant? Were they conducting their own experiments about the birds and the bees behind the boys' toilets while the desperately inept Biology teacher was stammering through the vague sex education classes we had? True, then again the aliens might have abducted the whole blameless lot and conducted secret experiments - ala Taken. You just never know, maybe some overly virile stud coughed dangerously in the vicinity and they all became infected with child :O If only it were that easy to get pregnant.

Amazingly enough the suitably horrified mothers of such sainted children sometimes claim not to have noticed that their anointed daughters were gaining weight in an alarming fashion. Seriously. Were they born yesterday?

The I'm not an Illegal Racer Scam

It's a schoolnight and it's 3 in the morning. You simply can't be buying supper or whatever ( Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa anyone? ) for your ailing parents at home. And why are you buying supper with a platoon of similarly dressed grungy looking punks with helmets? Surely they can't all have sickly - yet curiously hungry - folk at home in need of that early morning snack?

Be out. Be proud. You were out trying to score a deal for a skanky chick and a quick buck on an excellent ride. Then the concrete wall came up to meet ya.

Say it. I'll believe ya.

The I'm a Good Girl Scam

Seriously. Get a new scriptwriter. I fervently believe in the right to say no but don't take it to ridiculous lengths please. Reasonably good girls ( with a modicum of common sense ) do not chat up four virile strangers at bus stands and then cheerfully agree to accompany them to God Knows Where Plantation. Come on, a gang of leering uncouth guys who pick up women by the roadside? Do you seriously believe they are marriage material - that one day they're gonna bring ya home to their sainted mama and give you that precious heirloom ring? Do you really think they're only extending an invitation to a convivial platonic game of yahtzee in that isolated lonely plantation?

Please. Seriously, we're not your parents. We might judge but we won't ground you. Just tell the truth. You were plain stupid. Don't make us the dupe.

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Not a gripe but a reminder. Remember the earlier post I did about the sheer idiocy of book banning. Well, a few other bloggers decided to write about it :)