Saturday, November 18, 2006

Tits and Cleavage

Let's all agree that a man's chest - especially a marvellously fit, toned and sculptured one, courtesy of countless mindless reps at the infamous gym - is certainly a thing of beauty guaranteed to have the city traffic coming to a shocking standstill, and possibly a few cars ( driven by insanely speeding gay men ) swerving dangerously into a precipitous ditch.

Or maybe that's only me?

Cold nips
Ooh, don't pinch them

But sometimes there can be a little too much of a good thing. Due to Strapping Shane's insistence, I just had to reveal this scandalous exposé - or should I say Mr Mantits' inadvertent expose has finally been revealed. Let's face it, we've all seen those infamously unforgiving supremely tight V-neck tees that gym-loving homosexual men seem to favour - but just the other day I had the opportunity to witness *deep breath here* cleavage on a man!

Seriously. How low can that collar go?

Come on, I know you worked hard to develop those awesome mountainous man-tits - and God bless you for wanting to exhibit them for my critical review - but please, a v-neck low enough to almost expose both perky nipples? I like that hard shelf of muscle as much as the next red-blooded fag but do you seriously think you're babelicious Latina J-Lo in a green Versace? Doubt it was a wardrobe malfunction so don't tease, just take it off dammit.

And somehow I always have this insane peculiar ( occasionally suicidal - since have you seen the size of these guys usually? ) urge to pinch them.

Still, the revealing exposé certainly inspired one of the gifts on my Christmas shopping list since I had no idea what to get Big Bicep Barry. Barbell with a festive pink bow?

Paul : You are difficult to shop for but at least I can combine your birthday and Christmas gift. Maybe I should get you a low-cut tee.
Barry : My nipples will get cold.
Paul : That's the point.

Obviously he didn't appreciate that comment. Odd. Some guys just can't take compliments well.

13 comments:

strapping.shane said...

Mantits! Interesting name.

Well, if it went any lower - I swear he would really need to wear a bra. Thank god we didn't puke over our food that night - what a sight he was.

Anonymous said...

God gives the female with the most wonderful and beautiful gift in the world: breast.

And god created the most beautiful item for men: a push up briefs.

Makes them look sexier. =)

Anonymous said...

You know what they say?!! If you have it, flaunt it!!

Come to think about it, those who wear that kind of low-cut tees are definitely gay, right?!! I mean, straight guys definitely wouldn't want to be caught dead in 'em.

p/s: If low-cut tees are for the display of sculptured man-tits, is there any kind of jeans/pants to perk up and create the illusion of a bubble butt?? I certainly need help in that area. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Start viewing Paul stories @ www.sircris.co.uk

Anonymous said...

Perhaps a sexy jock strap?

Anonymous said...

LOL. It must also have been a question of how WIDE that collar was if nipples were at risk of exposure... are you sure it wasn't meant to be an off-shoulder top?

Like, eeewww.

Anonymous said...

actually i do think that those exposing clothes are a turn off to me.. i prefer muscular man to be dressed decently on the streets! otherwise they can appear just a bottom in my home then.. :)

Anonymous said...

When you got it, you flaunt it. Deep v or not. The over-worked manboobs surely deserved some attention, no ? If u ask me, I will go consider goin out in a tube if I have those Sisyphus pecs.

Anonymous said...

Omg.. Sounds like a conversation I had about this guy called fuck face the fugly's boyfriend. If he was a girl, his tits would have fallen out of his Tee... lol

better to go about shirtless, no?

Anonymous said...

Well IMO, i think if a guy with great tits, they don't have to show it by exposing the skin with those V-neck low cut tees. In fact i think they look best with the tiny singlets. I shows the shape of the body perfectly. Just like Pamela. She looks better covered up than showing her longkang.

connerkent said...

Barry : My nipples will get cold.
Paul : That's the point.


LOL! Pun intended? ;)

nyonyapenang said...

errmm....imagine mantits in a 'netted-T'. LOL

savante said...

Mantits? :) Thought it's usual, shane!

Push-up briefs? Will be looking at ya closely, dave.

Perk up the butt? You gotta ask wonderjock for more, ahmad. Maybe sue's idea might work.

Hi, cris!

Wide! That's the word I was looking for. Knew I could depend on ya, ws.

So right, famezgay.

Better go shirtless, ed :) AJ is so right about that.

Singlets? Whoa, mr frog.

Now that you've mentioned it, connerkent... well yeah :P

No need to imagine, just walk around the malls and keep your eye out, nyonya.

Paul