Tits and Cleavage

Let's all agree that a man's chest - especially a marvellously fit, toned and sculptured one, courtesy of countless mindless reps at the infamous gym - is certainly a thing of beauty guaranteed to have the city traffic coming to a shocking standstill, and possibly a few cars ( driven by insanely speeding gay men ) swerving dangerously into a precipitous ditch.

Or maybe that's only me?


Ooh, don't pinch them
But sometimes there can be a little too much of a good thing. Due to Strapping Shane's insistence, I just had to reveal this scandalous exposé - or should I say Mr Mantits' inadvertent expose has finally been revealed. Let's face it, we've all seen those infamously unforgiving supremely tight V-neck tees that gym-loving homosexual men seem to favour - but just the other day I had the opportunity to witness *deep breath here* cleavage on a man!

Seriously. How low can that collar go?

Come on, I know you worked hard to develop those awesome mountainous man-tits - and God bless you for wanting to exhibit them for my critical review - but please, a v-neck low enough to almost expose both perky nipples? I like that hard shelf of muscle as much as the next red-blooded fag but do you seriously think you're babelicious Latina J-Lo in a green Versace? Doubt it was a wardrobe malfunction so don't tease, just take it off dammit.

And somehow I always have this insane peculiar ( occasionally suicidal - since have you seen the size of these guys usually? ) urge to pinch them.

Still, the revealing exposé certainly inspired one of the gifts on my Christmas shopping list since I had no idea what to get Big Bicep Barry. Barbell with a festive pink bow?

Paul : You are difficult to shop for but at least I can combine your birthday and Christmas gift. Maybe I should get you a low-cut tee.
Barry : My nipples will get cold.
Paul : That's the point.

Obviously he didn't appreciate that comment. Odd. Some guys just can't take compliments well.