Wednesday, November 01, 2006

This Devil wears Prada

Somewhere deep inside their wallets - or for our more fabulous brothers, their Prada manpurses, most dedicated shopaholics have hidden that supersecret semi-orgasmic wish list. Certain gloriously to-die-for sinful pleasures that are either far too exorbitant costing the annual GDP of a small African nation or possibly far too outrageous to be worn anyplace other than a sinfully decadent French 19th Century soiree. And that's before the violent anti-fashionista revolutionaries came aboard to lop their pretty lil heads off.

Secret wish lists came about when my sister-in-law asked me what I wanted for my birthday / Christmas since they were sadly AWOL during the past week. Since Brandon Routh didn't seem to be an appropriate present - how would we transport such a large gift and how would we gift wrap? Man of Steel with a bow and a smile would work but without wrap that would be tacky - I had to settle for some far less titillating and far more achievable dreams. Things I would love to have but wouldn't be able to justify to my nail-biting nerve-wracked accountant near tax time. Who knows, maybe Santa might see this when he's online during his break time.

Although I might toss on the occasional irregular shirt making me look like a desperately unkempt middle-aged hobo on the make, like any red-blooded gay man worth his salt I can certainly appreciate couture.

The ubiquitous wool / leather trenchcoat

Certainly one of the things that would make me halt in my tracks at the windows of a clothing store. Like Holly Golightly ogling and drooling over the sparklies at Tiffany's, I spend my time doing much the same over trenchcoats. Oohing and aahing like a hopeful indigent immigrant with my greasy hands pressed against the windows while the snooty salespersons watch me with quiet disdain.

Not sure why I like them but perhaps some shades of the card-tossing mutant Remy Lebeau? Many's the time I've dragged poor Charming Calvin ( the man buys nothing! ) into a store just to try on some coats though I'm not sure when I'd ever find the opportunity to wear such a coat - especially with the hideously sultry weather here but hell, the rivers of perspiration and the ever-present risk of sunstroke would be well worth it.

Kenneth Cole boots

Mmmmm.... leather.... boots.... mmm..... sometimes I think the fratifying feel of buttery soft leather that melts as your feet sink in ( down with the cows! ) is almost as good as a gorgeous man feeling you up in a public taxi. Notice I said almost, I'm not crazy nor dead. Ever since Nancy Sinatra first sang about it - and then Jessica Simpson had to vamp it up with her sadly slutty take on the classic, I've always wanted some boots that were made for walking. Again, not sure what I'd do with them since work usually means hideous uncomfortable crocs - no matter what the enthusiastic touts claim. Still. They are sexy boots. And certainly made for kicking in the changing room to make out with the reluctant yet oh-so-irresistible salesman hunk, then to imprint the heel on that naked manly chest as he...

Is it getting hot in here? Ah. Boots.

Woven shirt two sizes too small

Can I breathe now?
Too sexy for my shirt

Well for that to happen, I'd need to stop eating carbs for at least half a year and frequent the gym for something other than drooling mindlessly over eyecandy so that's definitely an impossible dream - but it's still nice to have some dreams :) Don't get me wrong, already have a whole closetful of shirts in a myriad of rainbow colours - courtesy of selling bits of my soul and bank account to Raoul - but most are comfortably semicasual at best, with none of the breath-holding-tight, torso-hugging contours favoured by super-slim zero-fat beaus these days.

Platinum cufflinks

Admittedly, just started on this overly dandified affectation but... they are so very cute and pretty! And shiny! And did I mention pretty? Definitely a bloody bore to get onto the cuffs ( practically have to twist your fingers into knots sometimes ) but they look so... polished at the end.

Unlimited credit

No worries. I'm not gonna go crazy... just unlimited credit at Kinokuniya / Borders or failing that, Amazon :)

...***...


Of course with my hideous homely features, none of the clothes are gonna work as well as it would on Chris Evans and the rest of the droolsome Abercrombie modelicious boys but I'd at least be able to feel somewhat fabulous with such accoutrements :)

As much as I'd love that avant-garde Philippe Starck lamp, I wouldn't place home decor items on my wish list since I doubt many would be able to appreciate my particular tastes, Persian rugs and all... :) Other than my lamp bringer of course.

You might notice the sad lack of boyish technogadgets on my wish list... well, as much as I'd love that Ipod Nano, I wouldn't dare purchase it coz I'm pretty much the sad technohimbo who hasn't even managed to figure out how to manipulate his overly sophisticated cell. Sadly I've only pretty much mastered the abacus at best.

21 comments:

matrianklw said...

Man, you have got some serious good taste, especially when it comes to clothing! If I had the money... hmmm...

Anonymous said...

Those leather trenchcoats are so pretty to look at but of course, there's absolutely no way you can wear them in hot, humid Malaysia.

I recommend big yellow raincoats to complete that dripping-wet-yet-smouldering look for the monsoon season.

Maximus Leo said...

Philipre Starck - go and purchase this item and invite me to your place and I would kill to get them. On second thoughts maybe not unless you know how to defend yourself!! :-)

Nice taste on brands!! Similar to mine as well....but will stay away from those big yellow rain coats!!

Anonymous said...

You sound like me. I always walk somewhere, and when I lay my eyes on a coat: walk in and try em on - even if there doesn't seem like there's a chance to ever wear em here in Malaysia.

Don't get me started on Kenneth Cole and the boots. =P

Anonymous said...

I actually have a pair of Kenneth Cole boots. They are shearling lined for winter and I got them for Christmas from my twin sister. I have gotten to play out your dress up fantasy because of work. I'd get all glammed up in high heels, fashionable short skirted suits, trench coat and adorned with glittering jewelry I would rush around the country from meeting to meeting. It was quite the ego trip and it felt sexy too. From time to time I miss that.

Anonymous said...

unlimited credit in any shops is good enough.. u still can buy 100 any books in kino and resell it to buy the Kenneth Cole Boots.. So I want the unlimited credit in Kino as my wish List TOO! !

nyonyapenang said...

just the boots and nothing else.......

JL said...

How about watches?
A TAG, Mont Blanc or Breitling peaking out from the sleeves of your 'two sizes too small shirt' will definitely compliment the look :)

ikanbilis said...

i would do anything for a nice Burberry trenchcoat and that white one seems pretty fine to me. mmhmm
i know thats right! Manhattan is the place to wear it at the very right moment!

*These boots were made for walking and thats what they do one of this days these boots are gonna walk.all.over.you. lalala* but hideous uncomfortable crocs seems to be IN thing and did planned to get one before.

unlimited LIFETIME credit in Amazon is what I could always hope for. I would appreciate it if you could give me your address so I can fedex some exotic things I got from Cairo!

Stephen said...

It's forecast to go down to zero degrees overnight here in chilly North-East England. But at least I could wear a woollen trenchcoat - if I had one. Brrrr!

hrugaar said...

Leather trousers? :o)

Pete said...

I have a thing for black full body trenchcoat too ^^ Although I would prefer it to came with tall muscular man to match to keep me warm in his coat...

Anonymous said...

the shirt in the second picture is really nice .. i love the band near the elbow ..

Las montaƱas said...

Just threw away a tight fitting stripped shirt. Too tight around the shoulders and the tummy is ascentuated. :(

Grafx said...

ive stopped eating rice and noodles COMPLETELY... lost 5 kgs in one month.. try that?

William said...

Trenchcoats remind me of flashers and Mulder and Scully. :P

THE HONOURABLE SHAH said...

paul,

ask for the boots. trust me, you won't regret it. or perhaps unlimited credit. hehehe...

Perky said...

I love trench coats but ain't got the height to actually wear it :( I'd end up looking like a flasher instead of looking chic.

I once saw this guy who had don a tight shirt. He had toned arms but man... his tummy looked like he had swallowed a child! But some guys do look hot in them ;)

My idea of platinum cufflinks? Studded with black diamonds.... aahhh that would be gorgeous!

envy said...

I would go with the shirt:) and some nice underear too...jock?

savante said...

I don't have the money either, matt which is why I drool over it :)

Big yellow raincoats, ws? :) Guess what you're getting for Christmas!

Ian, that Philippe Starck would probably cost me an arm, a leg and an apartment.

I know! I love his boots, sam!

Sue, I am dead jealous.

True enough, you have a point there, famez.

Not for me, nyonya. Maybe for some of the younger studs out there.

My brother buys enough expensive watches for me, jl.

Can just imagine how much the trenchcoat would cost, ikanbilis and where would you wear it?

Go buy one, stephen!!

Eep, ru!

I think the man is an additional bonus, pete. DOubt it comes together with the coat.

I know. Isn't that an interesting shirt, nabeel?

Same problem here, las montanas :P

Will start NOW, grafx!

I know. Mulder. Yum. But actually more of Remy Lebeau for me, william.

Will definitely get the boots one day. Maybe Christmas, shah?

You must be ths short, cute cili padi sort, perky :)

You'd look good in the underwear for sure, envy :) NOt me.

Paul

Will said...

Your post resonated -- I just bought me the cutest little Prada wallet yesterday. Would be nice to have someone special buy it for me, but then I realized I'm special and I bought it for myself, so that's close.