This Devil wears Prada

Somewhere deep inside their wallets - or for our more fabulous brothers, their Prada manpurses, most dedicated shopaholics have hidden that supersecret semi-orgasmic wish list. Certain gloriously to-die-for sinful pleasures that are either far too exorbitant costing the annual GDP of a small African nation or possibly far too outrageous to be worn anyplace other than a sinfully decadent French 19th Century soiree. And that's before the violent anti-fashionista revolutionaries came aboard to lop their pretty lil heads off.

Secret wish lists came about when my sister-in-law asked me what I wanted for my birthday / Christmas since they were sadly AWOL during the past week. Since Brandon Routh didn't seem to be an appropriate present - how would we transport such a large gift and how would we gift wrap? Man of Steel with a bow and a smile would work but without wrap that would be tacky - I had to settle for some far less titillating and far more achievable dreams. Things I would love to have but wouldn't be able to justify to my nail-biting nerve-wracked accountant near tax time. Who knows, maybe Santa might see this when he's online during his break time.

Although I might toss on the occasional irregular shirt making me look like a desperately unkempt middle-aged hobo on the make, like any red-blooded gay man worth his salt I can certainly appreciate couture.

The ubiquitous wool / leather trenchcoat

Certainly one of the things that would make me halt in my tracks at the windows of a clothing store. Like Holly Golightly ogling and drooling over the sparklies at Tiffany's, I spend my time doing much the same over trenchcoats. Oohing and aahing like a hopeful indigent immigrant with my greasy hands pressed against the windows while the snooty salespersons watch me with quiet disdain.

Not sure why I like them but perhaps some shades of the card-tossing mutant Remy Lebeau? Many's the time I've dragged poor Charming Calvin ( the man buys nothing! ) into a store just to try on some coats though I'm not sure when I'd ever find the opportunity to wear such a coat - especially with the hideously sultry weather here but hell, the rivers of perspiration and the ever-present risk of sunstroke would be well worth it.

Kenneth Cole boots

Mmmmm.... leather.... boots.... mmm..... sometimes I think the fratifying feel of buttery soft leather that melts as your feet sink in ( down with the cows! ) is almost as good as a gorgeous man feeling you up in a public taxi. Notice I said almost, I'm not crazy nor dead. Ever since Nancy Sinatra first sang about it - and then Jessica Simpson had to vamp it up with her sadly slutty take on the classic, I've always wanted some boots that were made for walking. Again, not sure what I'd do with them since work usually means hideous uncomfortable crocs - no matter what the enthusiastic touts claim. Still. They are sexy boots. And certainly made for kicking in the changing room to make out with the reluctant yet oh-so-irresistible salesman hunk, then to imprint the heel on that naked manly chest as he...

Is it getting hot in here? Ah. Boots.

Woven shirt two sizes too small


Too sexy for my shirt
Well for that to happen, I'd need to stop eating carbs for at least half a year and frequent the gym for something other than drooling mindlessly over eyecandy so that's definitely an impossible dream - but it's still nice to have some dreams :) Don't get me wrong, already have a whole closetful of shirts in a myriad of rainbow colours - courtesy of selling bits of my soul and bank account to Raoul - but most are comfortably semicasual at best, with none of the breath-holding-tight, torso-hugging contours favoured by super-slim zero-fat beaus these days.

Platinum cufflinks

Admittedly, just started on this overly dandified affectation but... they are so very cute and pretty! And shiny! And did I mention pretty? Definitely a bloody bore to get onto the cuffs ( practically have to twist your fingers into knots sometimes ) but they look so... polished at the end.

Unlimited credit

No worries. I'm not gonna go crazy... just unlimited credit at Kinokuniya / Borders or failing that, Amazon :)

...***...

Of course with my hideous homely features, none of the clothes are gonna work as well as it would on Chris Evans and the rest of the droolsome Abercrombie modelicious boys but I'd at least be able to feel somewhat fabulous with such accoutrements :)

As much as I'd love that avant-garde Philippe Starck lamp, I wouldn't place home decor items on my wish list since I doubt many would be able to appreciate my particular tastes, Persian rugs and all... :) Other than my lamp bringer of course.

You might notice the sad lack of boyish technogadgets on my wish list... well, as much as I'd love that Ipod Nano, I wouldn't dare purchase it coz I'm pretty much the sad technohimbo who hasn't even managed to figure out how to manipulate his overly sophisticated cell. Sadly I've only pretty much mastered the abacus at best.