Thursday, November 23, 2006

Desperate Socialites

Oddly enough when I start the occasional whine about the insane pressures on the job, my mother will start her usual droning lecture about finding job satisfaction by facing serious challenges in the workplace. Really, is that what most of us are looking for in our careers?

Obviously not everyone needs that daily challenge. Every once in a while when I get the opportunity to saunter leisurely around malls in the early mornings - such as I did today, I try to see how the other more fortunate half lives.

Seriously? Forget about being a desperate housewife, if only I had my life to life again, honestly I would love to be the wife of an expat. :P Hopefully one with the delicious looks of Chris Evans / Brandon Routh, the unbelievable stamina of an Eveready Rabbit and the inexhaustible credit of Bill Gates. Heard people whispering about being financially independent and making your own way? Hell, there's such a thing as naughty solicitors and criminal divorce settlements if things go bad.

Wannabe socialite
Nerve wracking waiting for the maid to arrive...

Really. I would like to spend my early mornings making toast and pancakes as a hearty breakfast for my diligently working gainfully employed husband - and then when he leaves for work, leave it all for the indigent foreign maid to clean up afterwards as I leave for my late morning facial, pedicure and manicure. After my exhausting facial ( darling, we need to keep the hubby interested! ), I shall toddle off for a light civilized brunch with my other similarly fortunate fashionista sisters in some frou frou, desperately expensive restaurant where the food looks and tastes heavenly but the minute portion's only enough to leave me wanting more - and possibly helping keep me impossibly stick-thin.

My cronies, the leisurely ladies who lunch, will then pick apart the latest suburban gossip - especially amongst the local community - before launching on our next worthy charity cause, whether it's breast cancer, the local art scene or maybe something more mundane like some unfortunate orphan in some unbeknownst third world nation.

Then for the evenings, I shall be off for stimulating lessons to improve my mind such as pottery, modern dance or tantric yoga. In between these sessions of course, I'll find the time to whine and moan about the serious lack of attention from my disappearing workaholic husband while flashing my Tiffany bling blings and my latest season Prada handbag in their envious faces.

When I'm done twisting into several abnormal positions - while batting heavy lashes at the undeniably sexy virile instructor, I shall rush home in my luxurious Lexus to prepare dinner. Or should I say, more like pointing at a random page on my cookbook and ordering the maid to prepare the meal while I catch up with the latest episode of Desperate Housewives.

Now, seriously don't you wanna be a desperate socialite?


Anonymous said...

no sexy socialites pics? I mean u always put pics on ur post but not for this eh?

Jake said...

Happy Thanksgiving !!!!

Just a quick drop by before things get hectic in my world...

**Muah**... luv ya lots.


Musang said...

oh my... that's definitely the kind of life i always have been dreaming since i was 10. hiks.

it's just that, nowadays, i just want a small house/apartment and a loyal husband to live with, and a couple of kids. a simple life.

yearp. nowadays, i just want the simple life.

strapping.shane said...

I don't want to be no desperate socialite. I just want that guy we saw at breakfast. =P

Anonymous said...

being a socialite sounds marvelous right?


as it is we all have to work for our money.

*more sigh*

hrugaar said...

LOL! But I think I'd rather have my appendix extracted through my ear - without an anaeshetic. :oD

Anonymous said...

now wont we all love that.... let go hunt for a hubby!=p

Anonymous said...

Darling Paul,

I don't have to be a desperate socialite, I'm already one dearest!!!

buzz buzz

Las montaƱas said...

what!? you need to drive? a lexus? you should be sitting in the backseat of a royce!

Holden said...

So which one are you? Gabrielle? Heheheh. We all wish that we don't have to work and just stay at home.

I would love to do that but sadly, I am now apparently the sugar daddy, not the kept gurl. Dammit.

MishL said...

It's nice as a dream ... the reality was that I couldn't stand listening to bright women, who had real careers as doctors and lawyers and who put all that aside to better play the part of the rich socialite wives to their even more financially successful husbands, who somehow forgot their brains in the process and could, for hours, discuss the merit of a particular hair stylist or personal trainer. The reality is that half of those desperate socialites I socialized with when my kids were little are now desperate divorcees who did not always get the big house in the settlement. Thank goodness I opted to go back to work as soon as my kids got a bit older.

MY dream desperate socialite has a husband who no longer needs to put in 128738923 hours a week, and they both travel with their kids to all corners of the world where all wars, violence, mosquitos and natural disasters are suspended for at least the duration of their vacation and they always have the perfect book to read on the 23 hour flight where they get to stretch their limbs in first class.

Anonymous said...

how i wish i was one! *sob* *sob*

Vengelyne said...

I'd like that, but I'd get bored within 2 weeks or less. I need something more challenging than turning the other ostentatious women green with envy.

My experience with rich men - they're older and they don't just stop at 1 woman at a time. Maybe I've just met the wrong crowd of rich men...

charm.calvin said...

Is that a hint or something?

But I thought you'll be the 'diligently working gainfully employed husband' and I'll be the 'desperate socialite'?

Anonymous said...

Well, you have just described my life precisely!!! How did you do that?

lol. hahahahahaha.

nyonyapenang said...

**sighs** there's only so many men with bottomless wallets.

savante said...

I did! You must have been too fast for me, famezgay!

Luv ya too jake.

Have the same dreams as you, musang.

That guy was a twink, shane :)

We should open a socialites club, asmadi :)

Why! It's so fun, ru!

True enough, xav!

fly, I am jealous. Buzz buzz.

GASP I don't have that high ambitions, las montanas.

YEAH! I am Gabrielle. Unless I'm Bree, holden.

mishl you are making me jealous too.

We should get tips from mishl and fly, shah.

Why bored? We can go shopping somewhere else, vengelyne :)

GASP. Was that a hint, calvin?

How can everyone be a socialite, sue? Dammit. Where do I sign up?

Nyonya. True. Sigh.


Anonymous said...

here's the real story...

expat husband goes to work at who wants to get up at that hour? I get up and do exercises at the local fitness club, in which the air conditioning seems to be broken. Don't drive and I walk in 30 degree weather. Wait in line to take a shower. Go grocery shopping and try to find a taxi home. Clean the apartment and cook dinner. Husband goes to bed around 10pm. Next day, repeat. I don't know what kind of expat wives you know.

hrugaar said...

Nah paul, the first few weeks may be fun, but it's the end it's a superficial, empty and lonely existence.

And yeah, the expat husband will probably not be long hours at work, he'll be off seeing the homely non-socialite mistress who makes him feel vaguely human and loved. Strange but true.