Thursday, November 30, 2006

Don't I Look Pretty?

Good God.

With the holiday season at hand - and the accompanying prerequisite festive sales, I'm seriously morphing into that stereotypical shopping queen. Swear this blog isn't gonna turn into the Home Shopping Network but honestly, barely a day has gone by since my previous shopping post that I haven't been steadily wandering the halls with my eyes wide awake searching for marked down prices and my arms decked with paperbags.

Still. I've found just the right excuse! Just wanted an extra little something to add to my mom's Christmas gift package - see what a perfect son I am! - and I figured decadent jewellery always hits the spot. Perfumed scents are far too common nowadays after all, and I seriously doubt she'd consider trying out some of the more risque bohemian dresses I'd get for her.

There's this quaint little shop I know that sells handcrafted jewellery with inlaid precious gemstones, amber and seashells - amongst other glittery shiny stuff :) By the time I got there, my shopping posse comprising of the Lord of Perpetual Yawn, Charming Calvin and his accompanying retinue had already been left behind biting the mall dust being wholly unable to keep up the slapping pace of the true shopaholic. Thankfully though since I think bartering over glittery earrings and shiny chokers would probably have them screaming in a last attempt to safeguard their apparent testosterone-fueled machismo.

Still as I returned to the store, my discerning eye kept going back to a particularly fine piece of amber earrings - seriously the precious natural amber dangles like twin golden mirrors embraced by pure argent blossoms. Took me a while to haggle the price with the tough pareo party salesgals though - especially when that crazy impulsive devil inside me leaps out for an impromptu prank.

Salesgal : You like the earrings, sir?
Paul : Quite lovely actually.
Salesgal : You thinking of buying a gift for your wife?
Paul : My wife? Not married.
Salesgal : Your mother?
Paul : Think again. I'm getting it for myself. See? Don't I look pretty? So how much is it?

Quite frankly the pareo twins were stunned at the novel idea that Mr Average in his obviously heterosexual shirt and slacks could possibly be entertaining unconventional thoughts of parading about in a pair of fabulous amber bobs. Even held the dangling blings to my ear and preened in front of the mirror with diva-ish moves learned from the wannabe models at Tyra Banks.

Mirrored
Don't I look pretty?

Still cost quite a pretty penny but fortunately that momentary distraction was just enough for me to slash the price by at least 35%. Hell, I could have sashayed out of the store with earrings attached - without either of them blinking an eye since they were too busy picking up their astonished ( amused? ) jaws from the polished wooden floor.

Sometimes I seriously wonder at the outrageous things that just pop out of my mouth. Bet Freud would have lots to say about it.

But of course I'd only dare pull such a trick with Charming Calvin ( that honest little man ) safely out of earshot.

20 comments:

strapping.shane said...

Did this happen before I got to KLCC? =P

Anonymous said...

See, now I am jealous of you. I would love to say such scandalous things!

connerkent said...

LOL! Good one Paul. :)

Now tell me, where do you get images of such yummilicious men..?

hrugaar said...

Um, I actually do own amber ear-rings, back from the time when I had my ears pierced. Amber studs set in silver, and also a single pear-shaped amber pendant ear-ring that I used to wear quite a lot. Heh.

Anonymous said...

the nerve! the impulsive diva-ness! i like!

i could never pull something like that. that said if i buy ear rings they would assume they're for me anyway, what with my limp wrist, sashaying walk and colorful fashion commentary.

Holden said...

So very the Diva. Should I call you Jade now? Hehehehe. Yeah, tis the season to be shopping. Shopaholic sistas unite! :)

Ban said...

Hey. If I were there, I'd say "Look at his ears."

I'm such a spoilsport, aren't I? :P

Anonymous said...

Oh yes Paul... do tell how do you get pics of such yummilicious men... =P

Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with a little shopping..even if you are doing it in the womens department ;)

Anonymous said...

Wasn't Calvin supposed to have been napping on a bench somewhere? :D

Jake said...

ROTFLMAO!!!

Anonymous said...

paul,

my new blog addy...
bornonthe27thofjuly.blogspot.com

Las montaƱas said...

check out the new scent Euphoria by Calvin Klein!

Anonymous said...

Hi,
Lol, did that really happened?

closetalk said...

o good god. and she gave u a discount, cuz u pretended to be a tranny??? pity i dont have a dress. lol.

nyonyapenang said...

hmmmmm....anyone made a video of paul? please post it up.

Anonymous said...

I have a video... =P

JL said...

LOL... nice one Doc Jolly

i wonder what if you decided to get mommy cosmetics instead like mascara, lip stick etc. ;)

Annie said...

I emailed you my address Paul, send the earrings to my house express shipment please. LOL!

Thanks in advance. *wink*

savante said...

Yes, it did. Didn't you see me holding a bag, Shane?

But I doubt I'll go over there again, sue :P

From everywhere, connerkent.

GASP, you did, ru!

They'd probably let you try them out, asmadi since you're so fab!

Good God, why Jade, holden :P

Those ears are large, ban.

From everywhere, sam.

Hardly women's dept... it's a little store, cr.

He was napping outside the store, william.

Freaky, huh, jake!

Will change it, shah.

I know! I love the model, las montanas.

You can go over there and ask the store people, imphaldiary.

Nah, I talked them into a discount, closetalk.

Nah, doubt anyone ever did, nyonya.

Mommy cosmetics? :) jl!

Ooh, bet your husband will get it for you, anniieieie...

Paul