And I'm sorry but for now, I'm still much too attached to my ornate, delicately painted cabinets, no doubt courtesy of blindly dedicated, sight-challenged Tibetan monks slavishly carving inside secret complexes hidden deep in the Himalayas.
Househusband to be...
Monastic monks aside, that still doesn't stop me from drooling over these spectacularly expensive designer objects - as Strapping Shane would know. Dragged the poor guy through the horrific lengths of the kitchen appliances department and I'm sure he's still staggering from the excruciating experience. Footloose single guys and avant garde electric blenders just don't mix.
Went into one of those super upmarket stores - which I find thoroughly amusing since I am not sure who exactly buys such sinfully expensive kitchen products apart from ambitious interior designers trying to impress ( since we all know that fabulously wealthy datins and tai tais spend all their time doing their manicures and facials which precludes regular cooking sessions ). Even the harassed - though beautifully coiffed - storekeeper had her doubts as I could hear her muttering away 'Let's hope somebody buys this'.
Well, she wasn't all that wrong since I had half of a mind to purchase these designer babies myself but knew that with my lousy hours, I wouldn't have the time to use them. Sigh. Anyone in need of a desperate wannabe househusband? With the inadvertent help of Martha Stewart, swear I'll bake, cook and clean without much complaint! I'll even wear a frilly apron with the prerequisite Kiss The Cook tagline! Just no scraping dirty woks in the sinks please.
Seriously. Cost a whole freaking fortune for an alien juicer from Starck - that you gotta use manually and sweat all over probably while cursing and swearing for one pitifully small cup of lemon juice.
But look. How pretty!
Whistling Bird stainless steel teakettle, with sugar bowl and creamer. I know it's so 1980s but I love the design from Alessi. Not sure whether it really whistles like a bird but hell, imagine placing it on the gleaming kitchen table to the envy of the suburban desperate housewives. Certainly worth killing for!
Or even the Pito Kettle by Frank Gehry. Look. Fish!
Mamma mia! Look at the luscious Anna G all dressed in sheer black! Doesn't it make you wanna do wicked decadent things like corkscrew her away? Alessandro Mendini sure knows his women.
Armadillos are pretty ugly critters but they sure do make pretty bread bins. Come on, imagine serving breakfast with this as the centrepiece. How is the handsome working hubby not gonna be inspired to eat a toast or two?! Or to toss you on the hardy pine kitchen table and ravish you like freshly baked bread.
Charming Calvin, look closely. Christmas is coming. Maybe we can get them for the kitchen.