Thursday, November 16, 2006

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

No! It's not me so you can all relax. Unless Charming Calvin wants to quibble over the fact that I kept him up till some pretty unseasonable hours tonight. :)

The imminent threat of the dissolution of one of my favourite fictional relationships - my beloved Scotty and Kevin - led me to thinking, breakups are never all that simple, are they? After all, there's always bound to be a certain amount of repressed emotion and baggage just waiting to erupt under the seemingly placid surface especially after the end of a committed relationship.

Certainly no Oprah-wannabe expert in budding relationships but I've had my small share of breakups - or maybe I shouldn't mention that in plural since I only had the one. No doubt there was a moving suspenseful scene at the first realization of betrayal but what followed couldn't have been more sweetly cordial than a civilized English afternoon tea with the ladies who lunch - since for me, the subtle chill factor rises the angrier I get.


One of my friends used to tell me that a relationship should always end, not with a whimper, but with a bang. Apparently judging from what she said ( hope she didn't mean a bang with a pistol or a farewell fuck ) - and the various breathtaking histrionics portrayed by desperate afternoon serials, I should have been a little more wild and hotblooded like the typical big-haired ( amongst other bountiful assets ) Venezuelan soap opera ingenue. Perhaps rattled off a screaming vulgar tirade at the top of my lungs while doing my best to shatter his mother's precious Limoges. Sometimes I actually wish I'd had a dramatic breakup tossing his skimpy CKs out the window, wailing away unreservedly at the balcony while calling him filthy names, brazenly showing up at his workplace and dealing him impassioned backhanded slaps followed by the prerequisite humiliating splash of water ....but fortunately for my ex, I was much too timid, way too reserved and sadly much too adult for such frivolous diva-like antics.

And certainly too proud.

But not foolish enough to see what I'd be losing if I really had gone through the scripted tragicomedy farce. Engage in a literal War of the Roses that could effectively traumatize the simple friendship that we once had? One of my closest allies since childhood? Someone I'd cared for deeply?

Seriously, does love actually go out the door during a breakup? One unusual though outdated term I learned recently is the conservation of energy which states that the total amount of energy in an isolated system remains constant. All that love that was once there couldn't have just disappeared in that potent tempest of anger, treachery and broken china. Surely - if not purely driven by blind stupid lust and those ever persistent, pesky hormones - surely there has to be some residual feeling left behind even after the foulest of betrayals. Certainly something wonderful worth falling for in that special someone.

Or are we all fools who are doomed to blindness when it comes to love?


Anonymous said...

I blog about betrayal and you blog about break-ups, with betrayal thrown in for measure. =)

Thought you were gonna blog about the baby we saw at dinner... remember? The one with the dot on the head... =P

Or maybe about Mr. Cleavage and Boobs. That was hilarious!

Anyway, back to the topic: breaking up with a bang is definitely not for real life. I reserve it all for drama - coz' that's where such stories are told.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and apologize to Calvin for me will ya - I was the one who wanted to go to the movie that kept him awake so late at night. =P

P/S: Yes, I know - it's an unholy hour and I'm still awake. 4.32 am. God... I have class in 5 hours.

connerkent said...

"conservation of energy" - LOL! :)

The Fly on the Wall said...

Paul Darling!!

Breaking up with a bang!! My goodness, how declasse can you get!!!

No..when we breakup with someone, it should be done with al the tack in the world and keep all the lovely gifts he/she gives you!! besides, you earned it and just move on!! Don't dwelve on it anymore!! There's more fishes out there for us to catch!!

buzz buzz

nyonyapenang said...

i believe in making a clean cut.

charm.calvin said...

z z z z z z....

(Too tired to quibble)


if the relationship can still be saved, why breaking up?

anyway, love will always linger even after a break up. it's the matter of whether you're really ready to let everything go.

yeah, an advice from someone who has extreme difficulty of letting things go. :P

snowdrop said...

breaking up with a bang? definitely not my style. though i've wondered if it's more fun that way. you, as tantrumer, get to release pent up emotions, and tantrumee just has to suffer the screams, shrieks and guilt.

Perky said...

Ooh I'm in familiar territory here. I had this really really nasty breakup a few years back. I was so hurt that he had been lying and cheating on me for years. And even though I was betrayed (not to mention what a blind idiot I was), I still had some unresolved feelings for him - most was hate, but there was some love left.

I thought I would never really heal from such a painful thing. But you know what, time does heal old wounds. Now whenever someone mentions his name, I feel absolutely nothing - no pain, no missing him, no love, nadah.

Anonymous said...

Love makes us all a little crazy at times...We do & say so much that eventually bites us on the ass like a wake up call, but then we gracefully fall victim to the love bug once again and the cycle continues...Ahhh to be smitten, a hopeless fool in love...There is just no equal...*winks*

savante said...

That will come one day, sam :) After all, play it again sam.

It's true! You can even google / wikipedia it, connerkent.

Certainly moved on, fly.

So do I actually, nyonya.

Good God. Get some Yomeishu, calvin.

You're not the only one with difficulty letting go, shah :) I think it's quite normal.

I know. Must be cool to scream and yell away without feeling conspicuous, snowie.

Takes some time but it's so cool to let it all out right in the beginning, perky.

I know. Love, sigh. Makes us do funny things, shaney.