Clark Kents

In the light of day, sanity returns and it's appalling to note that I actually lean towards the borderline psychotic during the night with vague recollections of my maniacal Mr Hyde behaviour the evening before. Fortunately for my sanity my mind has developed a defence mechanism whereby all recalled memories of the night before flash by in patchy, incoherent MTV video-like clips especially when it comes to the more unsavoury bits. Certainly helps especially when I've disemboweled more than a few of my bountiful enemies in the night - though I swear I don't remember.

A few hours of sleep is usually what I need to regain some semblance of sanity which has me hiking to a certain undisclosed location to avail myself of their wifi connection. Slut that I am - and with my inhibitions lowered since I'm blissfully groggy with half-conscious dreams, I purposely picked the cutest hunk in a tie and glasses ( can I say that I love a man in a tie? ) and forcibly jammed myself on the same rickety table with him. One of those sweet, bashful Clark Kent types you wanna get down and dirty with in a public phone booth hoping to find a bird or a plane. Fumbling for an answer, the poor adorably straight guy was visibly stunned to find his personal space literally violated. Or perhaps his eyes were dilating over the fact that I was surfing gay porn in public.


Uhh.. you talking to me?
Who knows. I'm barely conscious this morning and couldn't give a damn. Still Khaki Ken as I've dubbed him makes some nice eye candy as I go through a meme sent by a Defiant gay man. Had some serious thoughts of accidentally spilling some hot mocha on his khakis so that I could cheerfully help him mop up. Revised that particular salacious plan since I didn't have the time, he seemed a tad too straight-laced - and I'm actually growing up into a partially responsible adult, dammit.

Still , I needed some points for him to fulfil the requests of the meme. He wasn't all too forward with answers though.

Paul : 8 Different Points About Your Perfect Lover... hmmm... so much to choose, so little time.
Ken : Uhh... you talking to me?
Paul : Yeah, why not. Any ideas?
Ken : The perfect lover?

Poor guy looked like a trapped rabbit under headlights and I took pity on him so here's my take on that particular meme.

1. Must adore me and cherish me completely without any qualifications. What can I say? I'm an all-or-nothing kinda guy.
2. Has to have some semblance of a sense of humour. Dismally dour dullards, get out of my way. The guy I like has to be able to laugh at himself, occasionally at and with me - and possibly be able to keep up with my quips. Asking me exactly what I meant can slowly grate on my nerves since I don't do reruns. :P
3. A generous soul. Splitting the bill is quite alright ( unless I'm dating some Richie Rich type whereupon I shall expect to be wined and dined like a queen ) but slice it down to exact dollars and cents - and I'm outta there. Certainly don't mind offering a treat once in a while so why nitpick over a few cents?
4. Intelligence. Certainly no need to have a genius-level Stephen Hawking but at least some scraps of gray and white matter should be present in the cranium. Having air in the head is not a pretty sight.
5. Should be tolerant over the little details and let some things slide - since no one's perfect ( least of all flawed me! ). Don't pick things over time and again with a relentless fine comb and bitch endlessly about it - since I'll be sure to morph into a revengeful Mr Hyde.
6. Enjoys sex without the puritanical hang-ups of a starched-up Victorian schoolmarm. Seriously, this if far more important than I can say :P Even better if a tad oversexed. Anytime. Anywhere. Ready for action. Yummy.
7. Tall. Not a prerequisite but since I'm already a freaking midget, my guy should at least be my height or taller lah.
8. Big gym toned arms. Also not a prerequisite but I just had to say it since I just saw a bunch of fit hawt gym boys ( who don't work! ) walk by. Good to cuddle, good to show off in sleeveless tees and good to carry my hefty shopping bags and unscrew metal bolts.

Anyone who fulfils the criteria above is certainly welcome to send in an application. Being a technowhiz with mechanical skills would be a plus! Sorry but I can't offer much apart from a lifetime of caffe mochas, endless subservience and some crappy overused jokes. :)