Why the world needs a Clark Kent

Who doesn't love a muscular macho man in blue form-fitting tights and a red cape who runs around saving lives and upholding truth and justice? No? How about a guy who's just as American as Ma Kent's apple pie, never tells lies and is the original comic book Boy Scout - who saves helpless kittens from trees and helps little old ladies cross the road? Also no? Damn, you're a hard customer.

How about something a little more shallow then? If that amazingly toned Kryptonian physique doesn't catch the eye, surely those devilish blue eyes and that devastating smile is enough to melt hearts of stone.

For those who weren't there when it first opened in the cinemas decades back ( as many of us weren't ) Superman Returns opens with a great homage to the previous installments. Right from the beginning, there is the pulsing signature John Williams theme with a slightly retro version of the credits flashing forwards onto the screen. Hard not to feel those goosebumps of excitement stream down your forearm just listening to the thrumming melody.

The overall feel of the movie is an obvious comic fanboy's dedication to the films that came before from the updated 1950s feel of the set and costumes to the slightly remixed versions of the original melodies ( including the terribly saccharine sweet romantic Lois and Clark refrain ). Retaining the spirit of the comic book, there is a larger-than-life hero, a deliciously wicked villain and a charming heroine who manages not to whine too much. Well at least this time around, Lois Lane doesn't whine too much or PMS rant over her little rages. Seriously, what's there to continually bitch about with a man of steel by your side?

Seems like our intrepid girl reporter shouldn't be the one bitching. Just look at poor ignored Clark Kent, our innocent farmboy from Kansas, who surely feels the added pressure. How could he possibly charm Lois Lane with his sweet schoolboy manners and his fumbling antics when his sleeker alter-ego literally swoops in to steal the scene - and the girl? Forever making him the desperate also-ran who never quite catches the eye of the girl he loves.

Which sucks majorly for me. Seriously. For a dedicated fanboy like me, the Clark Kent of the comicbook world has evolved far beyond the bumbling clodhead regularly pictured in the movies. Sure, the man's still old-fashioned and bashful as hell but he's also a published author and a Pulitzer Prize winner. Give the man some credit, willya! Let's not forget, he's always been Clark Kent first and foremost with Superman as his alterego - and never the other way around.

Look, let's not lie. The big biceps, the megawatt smile and the skintight spandex are all awfully distracting but there's always something about big, awkward colts who knock over the stationery files as he stumbles by. Somehow or rather for all of Superman's bright technicolour flash, I'm still more than a little attracted to the glimmer of Clark's bashful smile.