The Significant Others

For any guy, the ex meeting their current partner would count as one of their biggest nightmares. Horrifying visions of bloodshed and manslaughter ( if not double-teaming for murder ) would probably feature large in their minds.

For me, it's a bit more complex than that. There's certainly no basis for comparison between the two since Charming Calvin and my ISO ( InSignificant Other for those wondering ) are as different as oil and water. In a good old Western flick context, my ISO would be the tough, no-holds-barred, straight-talking bandit with little or no conscience ( certainly no qualms about gunning a stranger down ) while Calvin would better suit the role of the serious, earnest greenhorn from the East trying to make it big in the wild, wild West.


Sorry, sir this is the closest I could get to a cowboy hat!
Me? I'm not sure where I would fit in.

Lately however, Charming Calvin has been making noises about meeting up with my wicked ISO. Praying hard that it wouldn't be the gundown at the OK Corral - so far providence seems to be on my side since our schedules don't match ( thankfully! ) and it has been nearly impossible getting them to meet. Seems like the twain shall never meet since my ISO keeps increasingly odd hours while Calvin sticks to the regular salaryman's 9 to 5.

Still I spend my time heming and hawing over setting a date to meet since it's hard enough explaining my reasons for trying to stall the inevitable.

For one thing, wouldn't it be way weird if they became bosom beer buddies, sharing drinks after hours at the local saloon? What happens when I want to complain, bitch and gripe about my boyfriend's messy freakin-tornado-just-blew-in lodgings? Who do I talk to about his various little iniquities over peanuts and lager? I am sure Calvin would find a ready audience for my endless shortcomings amongst his cowgirls, the Charming Calvinettes but it's a little harder for me.

Oddly enough I don't mind having some of my relationships compartmentalized. Learnt my lesson way back then after all. Ancient history lesson here folks. When I broke up with my ISO way back, I lost not only a partner but a friend. A bit difficult to find a broad shoulder to cry on out in the open range when you've essentially broken up with a best friend too! So you end up staring at an empty cafe chair with warm beer in a mug while muttering maniacally about his manifold flaws and imperfections.

And can you imagine the PG-rated TMI conversations I have with my ISO? Just this morning I met him for a light breakfast before he started work ( damn flexible hours! ) and as usual we got to talking over beans, bacon and sausages. Those expecting him to commiserate with my latest news would be sorely disappointed.

Paul : Calvin might be transferring to Beijing for six months.
My ISO : Interesting. Does that mean we can have secret suck-and-fuck sessions now?
Paul : We're in public! You don't talk like that! And that hasn't happened in more than a year.
My ISO : Ah, but when the cat is away.

Seriously. How would Calvin deal with my scandalous potty-mouthed friend? God knows what shocking information is just waiting to fall from his loose lips.