Thursday, June 21, 2007

Memoirs of a Gaydar

Never been one to give up easily so my ongoing ( though seemingly futile ) search for the hidden agent remains in place. Although my clandestine blogging activities remains largely unknown to the general public - and my oblivious workmates, the unprecedented discovery by one of my erstwhile colleagues has left me vaguely unsettled.

Enlisted the help of my fellow conspirator who agreed after much persuasion to meet me this evening in a secret hideaway. Although Comrade Christian refused to betray his trusted sources, I brought along several wicked weapons of interrogation hoping that he would break ( though part of me wished that he would refuse therefore forcing me to use the phallic-like implements on his gym-fit physique ).

Met in a sun-dappled woodland glen doubling as a sushi palace - a place I wouldn't have expected existed in this interminable concrete jungle. Barely able to see in the cool, shadowy surroundings - a perfect meeting place for those who don't wish to be seen.

Interrogation Camp
A pity I never had the opportunity to interrogate him!

Then I met a pair of familiar almond eyes, squinting slit-like in the darkness. My gaze swept down to instantly recognizable pectorals with nipples already peaking from the sudden chill. And there in the relative shadows stood Comrade Christian and his eastern compatriot, the vivacious Miz Matahari.

There in that hidden mountain refuge over sumptuous dishes of Flying Geishas and Portobello Pancakes, we spoke - our clandestine topics ranged from Christian's infamous ( though rarely seen ) sex box to Matahari's not so secret charms. There was even a mention of the little known and much disputed Lady of Keningau. All the while though I was wondering whether Christian would agree to having raw sashimi spread on and eaten off his naked sweaty torso - though I wasn't entirely sure whether our Evil Spy Rulebook covered that particular code of etiquette.

Christian : Have you been able to find the agent provocateur?
Paul : Took a while and I haven't been able to ascertain for sure but I'd lay my bets that it's Physician Peter.
Christian : Good God, my brother, how did you know?
Matahari : Yes, it has taken us days!
Paul : Been testing out my secret wonderous homosexual detector. Thought the powers were dormant but they returned to me this past few days. And surprisingly Dour Dylan raised my suspicions as well.
Christian : Unglaublich you're right as well.

All right. Peter pinged my gaydar.

Took me a while but after much thoughtful meditation, I managed to piece together the various parts of the enigmatic puzzle that has been staring me in the face for many days. For the past few weeks, Peter has been but barely five feet from me and yet I only had a small inkling of the subterfuge. Fortunately my much lamented gaydar miraculously returned to its full strength this past few days and it was easy enough to seek out the agent provocateur hidden amongst the nameless masses.

Powerful enough even to uncover the heretofore imperceptible secrets of the inscrutable stranger Dour Dylan. Guess my suspicions have been confirmed after all and I'm certainly not the only deviant walking through these hallowed halls.

So how shall I confront this hidden dragon?


Gauzzel said...

The threat of revelation in the work place..

strapping.shane said...

Amazing that ye olde one has not completely dulled of his senses! :P

Janvier said...

That interoggating scene reminded us of Casino Royale.

Wear something with a dash of rainbow to work? Like a tiepin or cuffs?

khalel said...

hahaha Paul!

Lance said...

bwahaha... interrogate them with phallic instruments of course. :P

Sue said...

You must find a clever way to confront the dragon. Maybe send a minion that he will never suspect and who is willing to do your bidding. That is what I would do.

Jade Jeremy said...

Omg, I want a gaydar! Mine's not working at all. Bah.

Do you even talk with Peter at all? If you do, you can drop rather heavy hints. Perhaps make up a story that's similar to the situation and hint strongly that you know it's him.