Friday, June 22, 2007

Cantankerous Tiger, Haughty Dragon

The men in my family are arrogant bastards.


Not that I'm trying to malign my entire patrilineal line but sad to say, it's actually true. You wouldn't guess that from me but unfortunately the majority of men in my family are loud, boorish testosterone-soaked linebackers who like their wine strong, their wives weak - and their songs resembling boom boom cantopop from their flashing car stereos.

Thankfully my own sensible paterfamilias seems to be a slightly watered down version of this chinese alpha male stereotype - otherwise my far more discerning mother would no doubt have left him high and dry years back.

Confucian principles ruled in my father's household back then. Position in the society and the family was adhered to the letter with reverence and service rendered to the seniors - students respected their teachers, sons respected their parents and brothers respected their elders.

Me, I was never very good at listening to the rules.

While we were still in our shortcoats, my brother showed early hints of turning into one of those so-called men's men, playing the role of the spoilt elder son throwing his weight around with his horrible tantrums. Although the little tyrant's roar was certainly worse than his bite, that didn't stop the household from trembling under his tremendous rage. No doubt he'd have turned into a reasonable fascimile of the other despotic men in the family, imagining himself the indisputable master of all he surveyed.

Fortunately that cantankerous tiger had me as a brother ( nature's way of providing a balance no doubt ) and I'd never have allowed such pompous arrogance to continue unabated. Brawls we had aplenty since I never gave an inch - the dragon in me would recognize no one else as master after all.

Brother : Roar! Taste my Leaping Imperial Tiger Kick!
Paul : Take this, my 18 Stance Dragon Claws!

Brothers Brawl
Not this kinda brawl unfortunately!

Fraternal relationships are frequently fraught with difficulties but age and maturity finally settled our differences. There are times when the tiger and the dragon actually find ways to work together after all :)

Unfortunately not all brothers manage to find that righteous path together.

Why this sudden he ain't heavy, he's my brother thoughts?

Too long a story - and certainly a horrid tale that only serves to make my blood boil - so I'll summarize as much as I can. A hapless friend of mine has an older brother whose actions I find utterly despicable - certainly to be reviled by most traditional family-minded Chinese. Not only has this unfortunate fellow been summarily kicked out of his brother's empty apartment to be left homeless ( since the brother cleverly rented out the place from under him ), he finds himself privileged to receive imperious summons from his faraway brother to run mindless errands for him. And now this oddly submissive fellow finds himself obliged to return a secondhand mattress that his brother had previously misplaced and no doubt forgotten all about before the reminder.

Me, I would have torn the mattress into insignificant little pieces, wrapped it in red silken ribbons and mailed it back to him. Since I doubt I would have ever treated a younger sibling this shabbily.

Now isn't that utterly deserving of my famed East Venom Dragon Claws?


duan said...

very funny blog. Very colorful too. All seven colors of the rainbow... =)

Jaded_Jeremy said...

But it would take too much effort and time to tear the mattress ;-)

Cyclohelix said...

bite em back ;)

strapping.shane said...

Since I doubt I would have ever treated a younger sibling this shabbily.

Not to complain bout shabby treatment, but you do scold me when I do something wrong. But then again, it's because I do something wrong that I deserve scolding la. :P

Young tiger cub no match for the wrath of a dragon. :D

*cowers in fear*

savante said...

Thanks, duan :)

But it would be so worth it, jeremy.

I do that too, helix.

YOu call scolding shabby treatment? You ain't seen nothing yet, shane :P


nemesis-on-fire said...


my brother does that to me, i'll kick his miserable arse!!!

and burn his lousy second-hand mattress in front of his disbelieving eyes.


your poor friend laaa....

thank goodness my brother isn't such an arsehole. we DO fight as siblings often do, but at the very least, he treats me well enough.

R*Y A N said...

as an older brother, i think that's simply horrible!

i would have asked him to buy me a new one. ;P