Look What's in my Pocket

Not long ago, I made a quick note of the things I have in my backpack just as a reminder. But as diverse and unusual though some of the innocuous items might seem, I doubt they could even compare to the things Jaunty Jared keeps in his holey bag.

Seriously, not even the recent incomprehensible Nokia N95 ads could have produced so many seemingly unrelated items from a random pocket. Hell, even the average ladies' handbag pales in comparison.

During dinner when Jared started digging through his belongings and dragging them out one after the other with considerable aplomb, I started staring in bemusement and wondered whether he could be remotely related to a certain Doraemon - the infamous Japanese robot cat with a penchant for digging magical items from his pouch. Then again, the lean, tousled-haired Jared is a far cry from the amiable, roly-poly kitten with the gamine smile.


There's Something in my Pocket!
Stationery items such as pen, pencil and paper are usual enough for the average salaryman. Even a comb and hairgel would be understandable - especially for one as fashionably conscious as Jared. But then he draws out items such as a half dozen cans of chilled soda - including specially ordered lychee drinks for his boyfriend. An MP3 player. Health magazines with well-built, half-naked hunks posing suggestively in explicit poses. Followed by a new unopened tin of lightly salted potato chips. Then a warm woolen sweater for his chilled boyfriend. And then a whole eye-catching ensemble of gay men's couture with tight baby tee, bling-bling belt and supertight jeans.

Near the end of his tunnelling however, I started thinking that the bottomless bag just might be an impossible pocket dimension - since each time he rummages inside, something unusual pops out from this inexhaustible bag of tricks. I bet they have entire kingdoms from far, far away hidden deep inside the confines of his bag.

Seriously, at any given moment I expected him to pull a hunky six foot German stud out from that bag for me - with a three course meal of roast chicken and mashed potatoes coming right behind.

Karl : Ja! Would you like my sauerkraut with that?

Yum. German stud.

Then Jared would produce some tapered candles.

And matches. Maybe even the dining table with a snooty French maitre'd.

My backpack is starting to look a bit dull. :P Maybe I could trade with Jared.