Thursday, May 31, 2007

Bell, Book and Candle

Tis time, tis time.

Harken your ears to me, true believer. Tis the end of spring with the coming of warmer days and the sultry night sky seems clear with the moon and the stars in perfect propitious alignment. Something wicked this way comes as the gathering of the coven meet together this very night.

Power of the witches' rise.
Course unseen across the skies.
Come to us, we call you near.
Come to us and settle here.
Blood to blood, I summon thee.
Blood to blood, return to me.

Or at least that's what I assume Charming Calvin conveys to his Crazy Charmed Calvinettes when he sends out a distress call to the mighty assemblage of Solicitor, Sandstone and Steel to gather. Lately with the various emotional upheavals in his life, he has been feeling terribly restless, shaken and stirred - desperately in need of the spiritual stability of his familiar coven of three.

The Charmed Ones!
BTW That's my boyfriend Chris Evans being crowded by unworthy bitches!

After all there's always the need to talk, to vent, to confide after such a personal maelstrom - and let's face it, as close as we are, there are some things you just don't tell your boyfriend. Especially one as intimately connected. So Calvin finds solace this evening in the soothing arms of his coven, speaking of his toils and troubles over a simmering, bubbling cauldron full of scales of dragon and tooth of wolf with his Calvinettes.

Realizing his unforeseen error, he did ask me along to join the malefic proceedings at the last minute but I begged off knowing that some rants are better left unheard. Though I would have given plenty to be a fly on that hell-broth cauldron listening.

Solicitor : All hail Calvin, Thane of Cheras!
Sandstone : Speak to us, you have made the call!
Steel : Speak! And listen we shall!
Calvin : Well, lyk you see I have dis nasty problem, his name is Paul and ...
Solicitor : Wait! I sense a disturbance!
Sandstone : Listen. That speck. That fleck. That fly. That spy.
Steel : Begone! Make the gruel thick and slab add thereto a witches' cauldron..

So much for eavesdropping! Well I hope Calvin ( not the snoop of a fly ) returns not so happy, and yet much happier. :)

A meeting of my own coven? I seriously doubt there's any chance of that happening - Shameless Shalom and Graceless Grace remain staunchly religious ( one to God and one to Gold ) eschewing such pagan pursuits and there's no way Preity Posh would dream of gathering in foul weather ( not even for Glory ).

And even if they all decided to get together over newt's eye and tiger's claw, I have to admit that I'm just not one for the confessional booth. Faced with a handful of concerned judges, it can start to feel a bit too much like the Spanish Inquisition. Let's face it, talking endlessly Oprah-style about my feelings only ends up making me feel extremely crabby - with an inexplicably sadistic urge to throttle the pseudo-concerned counsellor instead. Hardly therapeutic.

Perhaps it's my nature, my nurture or just my plain ornery bullheadedness but I usually prefer to work out my problems on my own. Though it's obvious that Calvin finds comfort in company, I find solace in solitude instead.

No doubt some of the seeds of discontent that Calvin is bringing before the ladies. Till then though I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for advancing forests. Who knows what the sly coven of Calvinettes have dreamt up as a punishment. :P


Dashing Dan said...

Oooookay. Charmed coven huh? Hopefully they have something nice in store for ya doc. :P

adrien said...

dr. phills for a doctor in emotional distress?

a coven of doctors doesn't so bad actually. "crescent healers". lol

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Hey Paul,

OKKKKAAAAY... has someone been sniffing those dodgy mushrooms again?

Doc plz stick to normal pills! The bright green ones they pawn off on the streets are in a word dodgy!

PS - Loving the picure of Chris Evans... Erm I mean your boyfriend.. Just remember to invite me to the wedding.

Janvier said...

Found out that while we don't mind being a sounding ear for others, we couldn't sound out to them when we ran into a funk. Maybe because someone from the same group of friends was involved.

Took a serious amount of alcohol before we could get down to the talking :s

Anonymous said...

the high priests of the Woods De Notroh are still around... and are perfect for confining secrets, if need be...

but the woods is coming to an end though (damn de-forestration!)


*we turn to agriculture of expensive leafs now :p

khalel said...

I guess you're reader are really into your blog doc..

once more...

you are nominated for the G* Spot Weblog Award this time for the month of June!


You can claim your finalist button at the right side bar of this site

Good Luck!

savante said...

Doubt they do but we shall see, dan.

Crescent healers sounds scary, adrien.

Nah, I don't do those dodgy mushrooms, no more, dreamer.

Yeah, I think I might need that lil bit of vodka to get me talking as well, janvier.

Whoa. You are back, egt!

Thanks, khalel! Much appreciated.


Anonymous said...

check this out,