The One Where Everyone's Gay

Many times I've strived to put across the message that being homosexuality isn't infective. Being within a stone's throw of a raucuous gay bar doesn't automatically transfer twinkly pheromones that translate to a lifetime of hip-swaying, limp-wristed interior-decorating fabulousness - despite what the rabid conservatives might say.

Sometimes though I can be proven wrong :P

Not gonna bore you with another coming out tale again since I've regaled you about it here and here - though all of us with our feet caught in between the doors of the closet seem to be forever in the process of coming out.

Still I felt it was time to tell one of my oldest friends, Jaded Jeremy, who somehow managed to score himself a job in what has to be one of the most boring ( though reputedly lucrative! ) fields around - actuarial science. Now, I can imagine seriously dedicated actuaries everywhere lifting up their hands in protest showing me various supporting figures and statistics that prove beyond a doubt that their work is eminently fascinating. Beg to disagree though since Jeremy looks anything but enthused about his number-crunching job - honestly I thought the poor overworked guy closely resembled one of the cachexic living dead wraiths from a Nightmare Before Christmas.

Then again he does have a bunch of nightmarish professional exams ahead! Still he does look a bit like Victor Van Dort from Corpse Bride. Even on a holiday, our workaholic Jaded Jeremy was a bit hard to track down - caught up with his calculated risks and benefits, his neverending exams and an impending cold.


Pizza with a hint of homosexuality
After managing to get Jeremy away from his ever-present work into a seat for dinner - which he took with a world-weary sigh, I slammed him with my shocker of an admission with a quick pinch of pepperoni pizza to take away the bite. While he sat there stunned by my sudden admission, I took the opportunity to finish my salacious tale of my homosexual exploits while withholding some of the more sordid bits here and there. Instead of hurling out hefty chunks of pizza as I half-expected and dreaded, he sat there calmly without dramatic gay-panicky hysterics - though with an odd twitching of his eye - and claimed that he'd vaguely guessed.

That I'd finally placed that last piece of the enigmatic puzzle that was me. Note that I actually heaved a sigh of relief - though the generous folks of my generation seem more tolerant of deviant behaviour, you never can tell. Then again if he'd actually thrown a fuss, I - the bigger man - could have easily tossed him off the balcony.

Though he didn't put it quite that eloquently. Unlike many others before him though - Shameless Shalom amongst them, Jeremy didn't have an armed battery of questions ready to pelt me with despite the fact that I actually gave him time to digest the information - and the thin & crispy pizza I mentioned. Segued smoothly onto other topics with not a word said through dessert and even through our drinks at the lounge.

It was only later when I was making my way back that I got an instant message from him. Fortunately I was already sitting down when I read it.

I think I might be gay too.

Good God. It's as I feared, it's actually a freaking communicable disease! Now if only I could transmit it to Chris Evans!