Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Shades of the Past

Bet some people have wondered about the recent frienaissance I've been having of late with my boozy ISO. Fear not, doubting hearts, for the spectre of adultery hasn't reared its head nor will it ever. No matter how darkly alluring I might find him - especially after a few glasses of margarita ( doesn't everyone look better after some alcohol? ), my ISO remains my friend, a dear close friend and a trusted confidante. Thankfully I think we managed to make a clean break a few years back - though we did have that unfortunate Christmas tryst three years back. Poor whiskey ( and a sentimental fool ) gets the blame :P

Wassup doc?
Surely you didn't think I was the reprehensible sort who cheats?

Which is why we've made a prohibition pact not to get equally intoxicated at the same time.

Seriously doubt Charming Calvin has made such a clean break from his past though. The man doesn't come into this relationship without some heavy emotional baggage - and lately that particular flash from the past has made a reappearance in our lives. After we've all made our choices, there are always some who wonder about the road not taken and for the past few weeks Calvin has been left with some niggling doubts and hand-wringing indecisions.

Leaving me more than a little frustrated, though I've tried - unsuccessfully no doubt - not to let it show. So before I accidentally say something wildly inappropriate - and probably extremely cutting ( certainly no saint! ), I figure I'd rather let it loose with my tougher-skinned ex as a sounding ( censorship? ) board instead. Hell, you could rain showers of excoriating insults on his broad invulnerable back and it'll probably just roll right off.

Sometimes I'm not that much different from the bastard myself :P

Everyone deals with a break-up in their own inimitable way. For some, it's a near bloodless separation with a seamless segue into civilized friendship while some deal with dramatic tension, endless histrionics and broken dishes. Then there are those quiet types like Calvin who slam the lid, let it simmer and boil underneath, a palpable undercurrent of emotion that takes quite a while to bubble to the surface.

Still, my sweet Calvin's making laudable efforts to deal with this untenable situation - and I think he deserves to have that time and space to settle his disordered thoughts. After all, he's certainly worth it :) Till then I'm taking a deep breath, biding my time and keeping my fingers crossed.

11 comments:

William said...

Unfinished business. It has that annoying habit of biting you in the arse when you least expect it. Espcially in matters of the heart.

And yes la... I've met Charming Calvin, when do I get to meet Saint Wicked?

Dashing Dan said...

You're being extremey patient to let him work things out. I'm glad.

Allan Yap & Nigel A. Skelchy said...

Hey Paul, Charming Calvin is a sweetie. I liked him.

Where these things are concerned I think one just chooses. Makes a decision and stops asking the questions of "why do I still feel this way?"

Don't give yourself a choice and the road ahead with your new intended is rendered much simpler...like there isn't enough bumps and potholes along THAT road.

ulliterative.ullvin said...

An honest and introspective piece, and very sensitively written.

By the way, great pic of HXM! Does your ISO look anything like hxm, I mean him? :)

Musang said...

one very wise decision, which indirectly shows your age...

you are wiser as you get older.

...or something.

LOL. jk though. :P

**crosses fingers too.. for a happy ending**

charming.calvin said...

I'm sorry to cause you trouble and suffering. Things will get sorted out very soon.

AJ said...

you know,

even damaged people deserved to be loved.

Evan Owens said...

I second AJ's sentiment... :P

savante said...

Well, william, didn't he show you pictures?

Patient me, dan!

True, I told him just that myself, nigel.

Look like huang xiao ming? Nah, ullvin, my ISO is the huskier type.

Yes, it does reveal my decrepitude, musang :P

Hope it does, calvin :)

True enough, aj though I think calvin would resent being called damaged :P Muahahaha.

Thanks, evans!

Paul

Jeremy said...

Omg, am I the only who hasn't met Calvin? Paul! *smack*

Anyway, hope things can only get better soon :-)

jay said...

I'm the dramatic tension type personally with a hint of simmering. I still love my ex, but the form of that love has changed over time and I'm ready to move on.

Time does heal all wounds and you're giving him that which I applaud.