Shamelessly Stalking Studs

Gorgeous guys. Really, whether you love them or hate them, you gotta admit the world would certainly be a far less interesting place without them.

Or at least far less pretty.

One of the sights that brighten my day while mall-hopping ( apart from the silently glowering man in Kinokuniya ) is the presence of a particular droolsome man-candy that I've surreptitiously dubbed Suit Stud. Caught him rushing by Jaunty Jared and me practically three steps at a time a few evenings back. Of course this manly, dashingly stubbled hunk wasn't to Jaunty Jared's esoteric tastes ( he leans towards toothsome twinks I suspect ) but to each his own. For me, I wouldn't have minded spreading him on a piece of buttered toast for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Not that I would have even caught his attention since guys like these are clearly made to break hearts. Totally forgot all about him till I received a message from Jared ( who assured me that Suit Stud was a regular fixture in that mall ) that Suit Stud's back in business again trolling the mall halls. Snce I finished work early, I grabbed my binoculars and my spy kit and immediately made a beeline for his ass.

Did I say his ass? I meant I happened to be in the same place where Suit Stud was for lunch. Coincidentally, really. Fate they would have called it. Same fate that I had years back when I trailed Mr Bubblebutt down half the length of Orchard Road.


And we offer this in red, blue and black as well!
Still I missed him during lunch since he'd probably gone into hiding ( maybe gone into storage - surely perfection such as this had to be mass produced in some factory somewhere ). Then again guys like these certainly wouldn't be caught dead scarfing down the colonel's original recipe - more likely to be gulping down zero-fat protein juice and a single pea for lunch :) Munching on cholesterol-laden breasts and thighs had us developing a theory that they paraded hunkalicious clones such as him to attract more pink dollars to the undeniably tony stores.

Was proven right when I spied him jogging by again after I'd waved off Jaunty Jared. Since I had time to kill, I decided to trail him.

Serious. Every once in a while I suffer from an impulsive psychotic break.

Still I felt like a dashing spy leaping from pillar to shop entrance trying to catch a glance of Suit Stud. Let's face it, Suit Stud could have easily battered me to the ground with those manly fists ( oh yeah, manhandle me baby! ) if he'd caught me shamelessly stalking but he seemed patently oblivious. No doubt he'd have caught me stalking if he'd turned around but thankfully he was in such a damned rush, he failed to see the damning evidence trail of drool that trailed several feet behind him. Though I might not frequent the gym as he evidently did, broad shoulders and all, I still managed to keep up with his long athletic legs - which I thought would have looked so much better with the ankles around my ears.

Though I certainly wasn't complaining about the view from the back.

Eschewing the numerous sale signs beckoning in siren-fashion to him, our Suit Stud walked around aimlessly through the floors without any seeming destination - making my earlier theory seemed far more believable. Maybe they'd rent him out to me for a minimal monthly fee? Still his name didn't seem to fit anymore since from my lecherous point of view his suit had already degenerated into nothing leaving him in a fitting but frayed wonderjock - courtesy of my X-ray vision.

But just when I thought I'd cornered him into the seeming vulnerability of an empty elevator, I was intercepted by a turban. Really. Bless those African mamas but those hot-man-obstructing turbans have to go.

Still, I thought I caught an enigmatic smile ( and a wink? ) on his face as the elevator doors shut on me. And he disappeared into nothingness.

Damned ladies with big turbans. Off with their heads, I tell ya.