Thursday, November 10, 2005

A loaded pistol

Each time I think I'm a conservative, boring, dull stick-in-the-mud ( who's approaching 30 ), something comes along to shake me out of that depressing thought. My ISO calls it my psychotic breaks.

Kinda like the famed melatah in Malay ( and Peranakan ) culture, an unusual condition that is restricted to a specific ethnicity or culture - somewhat linked to societal repression. Simply put, a lifetime of repression makes them burst out suddenly in unusual, nonsensical phrases when they're shocked or amazed. Seriously, it's hard to explain without seeing for yourself what melatah is. Would recommend going up to a Nyonya girl and surprising her with a whack on the back - and she might give a reasonable rendition of melatah but you might also get a surprisingly mean right hook in return.

But I digress. What I meant was my psychotic breaks happen every once in a while when I do the oddest things known to man. Like cackling aloud during dull, boring meetings. Like throwing my ISO's handphone out the window when I was talking to him - still kinda a sore point but hell, he has plenty of new cellphones! Good God.
I am actually revealing way too many bad points about myself but any future boyfriends need not say that they hadn't been forewarned :) Bear with me, I do have some good points.

What I did today was confront.. no, it wasn't Big Bicep Barry but poor innocent Handsome Hui. He's cute, he's single, he doesn't have a girlfriend to speak of - and he has a multitude of photos in his cellphone - all male, suspiciously enough. There have been rumours going around the hospital grapevine about who's carrying a pink passport - obviously wouldn't surprise me if I am one of them but I never actually figured out who the rest were and no one was ready to tell me ( since hell, I am a suspected homo.. ). But after some clever finagling, I found out and I had to confront him about it.

A normal guy would ease into the loaded question into the conversation, slowly sliding in a few feelers and some cunning innuendoes. The fresh anaesthestic gases must have had an effect on me - or my insane curiosity must have possessed me - because I accosted him in the men's changing room while he was practically half-naked, shoved him against the wall and asked him flat out.

After my burst of testosterone, I believe the poor boy's still picking up his jaw from the floor. No reply yet but he is definitely getting a thong.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am certain you have lots of good stuff about yourself.

That's so funny that people always like gossips like who is a homo and sort of things.

By the by, Paul, Sweetie, please get over with the idea of appraoching 30 years old. But then, I too know you cannot get rid of the horrible idea out of your head whatever people around you say things. :-) Deep Breathe. Get happy!

Anonymous said...

I get little flashes of impatience like that (but I'm not going to call them psychotic, LOL!). Maybe it's the prolonged frustration getting to us?

It does sound like Hui the cutie is secretly batting for our team (guys pics on his handphone too, lar!). Although if I was subjected to a direct frontal attack like that, you certainly wouldn't get a direct answer back from me! :oD

Will this make Barry jealous? ;o)

Petie said...

As another person who is approaching the big 3-0 I would say just freak out as much as you want till it's over.

We both knew that we won't be this freak out if we have a decent man to be by our side who will keep assuring us that he will love you no matter how old you get and wanted to grow old with you... **sigh**

Mark said...

I love it when you reveal these little idiosyncrasies(sp?) about yourself! Lol.

So when do you think he'll give you an answer :-D.

Oh! And there's nothing wrong with thirty!

Anonymous said...

meow! I like this crazy side of you :D I wish i know who else is here in the workplace is a pink passport holder, i so need a fellow homo to gossip with.

Anonymous said...

when i came out to my frnds, most of dem had already guessed beforehand. lol.

AJ said...

Oh I just lurve pushing men into corners and wel.. um.. cornering them... Feels dominant!!!

Wayne said...

I would totally drug or get Handsome Hui really really drunk.

Then jump him.

savante said...

thanks, shigeki... and I promise that's the last post moamning about my age. Can't help it! My younger colleagues are nagging me daily.

ru, make barry jealous? If only!

you are so right, pete. The lack of a decent man is making it much worse.

No answer yet, darien. I kinda left it hanging.

That's exactly what I'm looking for, asmadi. A fellow gay gossip in the department would be too cool!

lost. Who?!

closetalk, I doubt my friends/classmates would be shocked either.

aj, I can be a pretty dominating bitch.

That sounds like a plan, wayne!

Paul