Sunday, May 13, 2007

Booze, Bars and (Ex)Boyfriends

My ISO and I have an affinity for drink.

Not that we get silly drunk chanting inane jingles on the sidewalk while carelessly waving our brewskis ( though embarassingly enough we did that once a chilly evening years back after celebrating the end of school exams ) but alcohol certainly played an important cameo in our troubled relationship. Certainly the instigator of our first night together - or at least a handy scapegoat to blame if it had all gone terribly wrong. Not forgetting that brandied ice-cream we shared in a wooded park while talking about our studies, our lives, our futures.

Bottoms up!

And then the wine bottle I wanted to smash over his head when it all ended.

Yeah, we do share an affinity alright :)

Which is why he's the first guy I usually think of when I need a drink. That and the fact that a freaking ultimate margarita costs a bomb - and he can certainly handle that particular financial fallout.

Forget the fact that he's a philandering bastard, pour enough cheap rum down his throat and he makes pretty good company, even proffering the occasional sage, thoughtful advice - though in a particularly slurred tongue. Of course his hands do tend to get a wee bit frisky too - or was that just me :P

My ISO : Come gimme some sugar.
Paul : Go lick the salt instead.
My ISO : But I am your neighbour. Shake it!
Paul : If you say shake it like a polaroid picture, I am gonna bean you with this jug of sangria.
My ISO : You're mean.
Paul : So are you. Stop staring at the bartender.
My ISO : He's hot.
Paul : And a fetus.
My ISO : Baby, no fetus ever looked that fine in a pair of low-cut jeans. Bet ya he has a treasure trail I could lick all the way.
Paul : All the way back to secondary school? Cause that's where he just came from.
My ISO : You think that would disgust me since I'm in my dotage but I'm not. Come here, growing boy.

Guess we aren't that far from the drunken fools mouthing inanities :)

Still ( unless I was so fucking soused that I imagined it all - still have a mild ringing in my head as a reminder ) I think I saw the bartender pass him a napkin later that night. Not sure what that was all about - maybe getting gaysted happens to bartenders too.


ulliterative.ullvin said...

Your ISO sounds like a pretty cool guy... What does he do for a living? And is he attached? :)
And which bar was that?

Annie said...

So while you're out bar hopping and mothering your ISO who needs a reality check, where is poor Calvin? My poor Charming Calvin is sobbing alone looking for cuddles from someone?

Sangria? How strange Paul. I had a sangria yesterday on my outing in Seattle. Margarita was too expensive, so I opted for the cheaper drink. :D

Where were you? You should've joined me. I was alone eating lunch.

husz said...

hey dude!!! hehehehe wanted to comment on the date the niece incident..

hohoho do it dude :D and take her out to La Queen ,.. maybe u can introduce her to some nice lesbians

Sue said...

Well, if your ISO can attract fetuses, let him have his fun. So long as they are legal, what is the big deal?

savante said...

Whoa. Don't know if he'd want to be outed on my blog, ullvin :) He's a pretty reticent guy after all. But he's not attached.

Calvin's hardly sobbing at home. :) He was at the Philharmonic with friends, annie. But yeah, we should have shared a sangria!

Date the niece, husz? :)


savante said...

Well, sue, he did get the number :)

Mr.Brian/Mr.Fletcher said...

And I'm willing to be that your ISO pretended to be the very picture of innocence when it happened.

Either that, or he sat there with a smirk that said "I told you" in every speakable language on earth and Mars.

suicidalconversationjunkie said...

been blogging a lot about our ISOs recently, haven't we? :p

savante said...

I doubt he could pull off an innocent look, brian :P

True enough... but I guess that's because I've been seeing him, junkie.