Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Innocence and Impropriety

Never been a paragon of virtues but I have recently come to the shocking conclusion - yet again - that I'm actually quite an unprincipled fellow.

Not that I've been a crazed deviant going about tearing the wings of pinned butterflies or setting cats' tails on fire - but it seems that my moral and ethical standards have grown far more lax than I ever imagined, certainly miles from the strict, unwavering credo advocated by the dedicated missionaries. Soon I'll probably nonchalantly watch someone getting horribly butchered in front of me without blinking an eye, I suppose.

That's what you get for skipping confessionals for years. Evidently not only does your soul go down the drain to hell, your morals tag along with it as well.

Confessions
It's innocent! Really!
My braces got stuck in his pants! Honest!

The story goes like this. My unfortunate Charming Calvin, during one of his everyday rounds at work ( work seems to be an anathema to engineers ), happened to chance upon a couple he knew having a private meeting in one of the numerous conference rooms. And they were caught literally in flagrante delicto. Both seemingly respectable adults - and one already attached in a monogamous relationship.

Calvin : Disrespect! Disgrace! Dishonour!

I know. It's obvious that he comes from an ultra-conservative Chinese family - possibly some distant relation of Mulan's martinet father in fact.

Wouldn't have surprised me if he'd immediately yelled for the unfriendly neighbourhood moral police - since his thunderstruck horror and revulsion could be felt even by me several kilometres away. But despite the fact that he wanted to bludgeon the both of them, it seems that Calvin remained mum about the incident ( after the corespondent in the case pleaded piteously with him ) preferring to let it seethe inside while he raged inwardly over the sexual infidelity.

Later when he told me the shocking news, the man obviously expected empathetic agreements with lots of minatory noises - like his infamous tsking. But unfortunately I've failed quite miserably as a human being ( and an astonished Calvin is obviously thinking twice about having me as a life partner ) since the only thing I could think of was...

Paul : Degrading! Disgusting! Devilish! I love it! Tell me more!

Seriously. I thought I heard him fall from the chair.

Not sure when and how my principles evidently took a startling nosedive that even the thought of fornicating adulterers fails to surprise me. Far more curious in a voyeuristic manner in fact :P Perhaps it's because I'm not directly involved in the illicit situation in any manner which is why all I wanna know is how, where, what position and whose married to whom?

Where is my conscience, you'd say? Not sure, it might have gone down the drain as I mentioned earlier. Then again if I'd caught the adulterous pair, I'd have been snapping vids for youtube as well.

Evidently Scorpions and Lions look at life differently.

8 comments:

Vengelyne said...

No, don't post it up on youtube. It's free. Put it somewhere that's chargeable - pay per view. Ha.

Modern tv shows and soap operas have play so much on scandalous affairs and adulterous ones at that, too. So, I'd be craving to hear more of those sinful acts as well. *teehee*

strapping.shane said...

*insert sarcastic uh huh here*

conan_cat said...

lol... agree, i'll be snapping videos too and post it on xtube or pornotube, under amateur videos for sale. XD and i agree with you that i'll be so darn excited to know more, hey it's gossip and it's fun! whats wrong with that! :P i'll prolly just laugh it off like a joke

Janvier said...

Deprived! Deplorable! Disastrous! Oh yes, when it's someone we don't know personally we might be incline to hear the dirt. If it's someone we know we might feel more like Calvin.

jay said...

I agree with Janvier. It depends on if there is some kind of attachment to those involved whether working with them or being friends with them. Seeing them everyday or seeing them with their partner knowing what they're doing would kinda anger me. But I'm far from innocent given my recent antics with somone with a gf.

Ban said...

You're only saying that cos you don't care about the people involved. :)

Sue said...

I agree. I, like a worm, love dirt. ;)

mstpbound said...

haha omg I LOVE dirty gossip too! especially the 'who's sleeping with whom' variety. :) :) ;p