What can I say? I've already failed one. Don't care to try for another. Once bitten twice shy. So when I received a brief message from Charming Calvin hinting at an extension of his sojourn in Beijing, I found myself flabbergasted.
Calvin : I have news. They might extend me here for another six months.
Paul : Madre Dios!
Sure in the vast scheme of things, one year isn't all that long. Just a few grains in the sands of time. Faithful Chinese heroes of old waited 16 years after all. Not forgetting the lonesome Cowherd only gets to share connubial bliss with his Maiden only once a year!
What we did was so wrong...
So wanna do it again?
I doubt we're characters in a novel though!
Even my cousin, Hard RocK Harriet seems fine with this arrangement - with her sweetly doting husband based half a continent away while she's quarantined with her sick babies on that rock by the Pearl River delta. It's practically an alternate weekend affair as he commutes home late on Sturdays. Not sure how they both can manage this crazy arrangement indefinitely!
It would drive me slowly insane!
Should be obvious by now that I don't place much faith on geographically challenged affaires. Two important factors count in the longevity of a long distance relationship - the maturity of the relationship and the length of separation. Unfortunately it comes down to boring numbers in the end, a mathematical check and balance. Correlates with the length of time and inversely with the maturity of the relationship!
But even with the perfect balanced equation, it isn't long before infidelity rears his sexy head. Come on, we're all guys. We can hardly stay celibate monks for any given length of time ( short of being marooned on a desert island - and even then we might have Dr Jack to tempt us ). The more sadly cynical amongst us would even say we're all genetically programmed to stray!
Sure, we all promise to be faithful and true to that oblivious boyfriend in hand a thousand miles away but surely every once in a while we're greedily tempted by the beautiful boys in the bush? Daily solo cyberwanks last only so long before there's the irresistible need to replenish with a fresh cum facial straight from the tap.
What more when there are so many new taps to try!
I know I'm bringing it down to the lowest common denominator - sex. But even without sex as a factor in that equation, that doesn't mean that in time ( almost inevitable actually ) he or she won't find someone more in tune with their thoughts and ideas, someone more sympathetic with their plight. And most importantly, someone who isn't an ocean away.
Of course, you might try frequent reminders of fidelity to avoid such tangled complications. But let's face it, as a general rule, men suck as correspondents. Initially they all start off sweet, charming and attentive but then after the course of several weeks and months, the initial enthusiasm gradually tapers off. Lengthy encyclopaedic missives detailing even their daily bowel habits begin to imperceptibly shrink becoming more a succinct, compact summary of the week. Then it becomes that lonely telegram of the month. Then the occasional greeting card for birthdays and Christmas.
And then it's total news blackout. A relationship dying with the inevitable whimper instead of a bang.
Ain't no mountain high enough? I don't think so. Someone tell me if I'm getting cynical.
13 comments:
Don't you think it's all up to the effort? It's gonna be worth the wait if it's worth anything at all, to last long long time?
6 months? I have a 2 year distance thingy impending me in the near future
I wish you and Charming Calvin the best of luck! sweeties!
Surely you know there is more to a relationship than sex? :)
And have I told you you're quite a catch? :)
*hugssss*
*SLAP SLAP*
Naughty boy! Yes, you're getting more cynical!
hang in there, doc.
Me and my partner have not seen each other for 3 years. 'Course, the gap is brought slightly closer by webcam sessions and uh....phone sex.
There. I said it. =)
hej!
well i think the world is shrinking...and long distance relationship is just a phone call away...or just an hour different...
cheers!
i can't imagine myself being tied up in a long distance relationship. it kills, even now having friends and family around the globe is crazy enough.
ooohhh..poor u :(
once ppl said to me that my love is so platonic..but i'm ok with it
hope u r ok too :)
i have just made a guy feel love again. his heart froze after his 16-year relationship was ended 5 years ago. but now he's alive again...and loving it!
"i didn't know that a cynical guy like myself could feel again."
it would be a pity if you were to say those words, doc.
my friends are constantly reminding me to "be careful", "men aren't girls", etc.
why are so many gay men cynical and guarded? is sex all you're after?
i'm new to this (gay) world and am in love...long distance. yes, it's not easy, but i'm definitely going to give it all i've got before i go fuck other guys.
isn't that how it should be?
call me a romantic or a fool...that's just how i am.
I'm too a bit skeptical about long distance relationship, straight or otherwise. Although I do e-mail regularly with reasonable quality (forwarded e-mails are not counted!), and can talk over the phone about a variety of stuff, I'm not hopeful people are like that in general.
It just that we do need things in common to bond, in general. If two people are in different environment for a long time, what are the odds they have things in common, except for memories? This happens to the best of friendship even.
But then again, it is very strange that there are exceptions in my life: my sisters. We are as close as ever even if all 3 of us are in different countries for years already. Of course that takes some effort of getting in touch.
Nevertheless, one should always give your best shot, instead of giving up at the outset. So all the best, Paul. In any case, your case is a mere 6 months. It seriously will pass by before you know it. However, at the very least, should get in touch regularly...doubt I really need to remind you that though.
a little adjustments will make things fine....
Hey, not gonna break up as everyone imagiens :) Just saying that it's gonna be a tough ride if he stays on for another year. Hope we're adult enough to get through this.
And connerkent :) Hugs too.
Alamak... lama tak baca... tak tau banyak citer ni...
Let's plan a trip to China next year!
^_^
We are the lucky ones.
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