Wednesday, August 16, 2006

My Jack

Perhaps a ritual stoning might just be too good for me.

Adultery has always been a punishable offence - and for me, there are almost no valid excuses possible for such a dastardly act, short of Chris Evans / Brandon Routh offering a one night proposition of sweaty superhuman acrobatics. Open relationships aside, I've always found it inexcusable for someone to gleefully cheat on their spouse / partner without their prior knowledge.

Unfortunately, the onus of the adultery is usually placed squarely on the sexy siren out to ruin a relationship when I find it's the person already in a relationship who should carry the lion's share of the blame. Always found such weakness deserving of my contempt especially when someone turns their back on hearth and home just for a taste of the forbidden. More than one heart gets hurt in the process and I think that's certainly deserving of a stone or two, no matter the reason.

Always find it odd that there are certain relationships that can remain with the extramarital affairs. Barring certain extreme circumstances that might make it impossible to leave such a relationship, I don't see how anyone could play the cuckold for long. Where's the pride and self-esteem?!

Then I fell prey to such a detestable sin myself. Just like every other odious fellow adulterer after such a foul betrayal, I have to say that ... it wasn't my fault. Honestly.

Who could have possibly resisted? One look at him and I melted like butter in the hot sun. It wasn't easy turning my back on my newfound loyalties to Charming Calvin but it was almost like I was spellbound, the way he drew me irresistibly like a moth to a flame. Certainly my beau ideal with the puppy-dog eyes, the scruffy chin and the hot-as-hell physique.

My Jack!
Yummy Jack!

Lost and stranded on a desert island with several other survivors of a plane crash, he has been their de-facto leader, medicine man and overall good guy. Sneaking out early on my dates with Calvin on Monday nights, I spend an hour communicating with him through an enchanting conjuration of light and sound that transmits images of his heroic self to me. Believe you guys call it the television. Last I saw of my Jack, he was being cuffed and hooded by the enigmatic Others but I'm sure he'll make his way out of that precarious predicament intact.

Just look at his plastic perfection, and finally available for RM 59.90 from Spawn! Helpful donations are always welcome. Dr Jack Shepard will be in my arms ( I hope! ) by Christmas at least!

Exams be damned!

17 comments:

Patrick said...

Hot as hell physique!! Mind to elaborate further?

savante said...

GASP! You don't think so! He's a FOX!

paul

nyonyapenang said...

with the spouse/partner prior knowledge?? then this becomes abetment by the spouse/partner, no?

Exams? Nevermind, Jack will be waiting for you. Anyway, best of luck! ;)

Las montaƱas said...

hahaha! such a tease!

hrugaar said...

Don't think I'd want an open relationship myself, though it seems to work for some people. *shrug*

People dump or cheat on their partners for any number of reasons, not all of them worthy of stoning. Sloping off to cheat with a plastic toy is, well, certainly a little different la. :oD

Whether you deserve a stone or two, or not, paul dear, I couldn't say. But let he who is without blame cast the first stone.

Anonymous said...

I read somewhere that in gay relationships, open ones tend to last longer. Is it true? I'm sure it's something couples have to sort out themselves. But from personal experience, love is sturdier, bigger than simple fidelity. It depends on how you want to set the rules for the kind of love you want.

Dave said...

took sociology during my days in polytechnic and learnt that in the past, adultry is a punishable offence in South Korea. The govt thus has revised into the law to abolish the law of punishing an adultrous couple, thanks to the increasing number of cheap Korean porn that glorifys adultry.

But is it a punishable offence for homosexual adultry?? Does a adultrous deserves punishment for commiting adultry??

Anonymous said...

lol. i didn't realize that that was an action figure, it looks just like matthew fox. its a bit wierd seeing him on lost since i grew up watching him as the oldest salinger in party of five.

Kiks said...

In case you don't know... there's also a.... hm, 70 to 100cm tall Superman Action Figure available, where the face looks really like Superman... face wise. I can only imagine what some guys are doing to that doll already...

Anonymous said...

Hahaha... When I read the title of your post, I thought you were referring to Captain Jack Sparrows. ;)

Jay said...

Party of Five is being screened on ABC every morning at 0910. I wake up, watch it and go back to sleep.

Matthew Fox is SO hot. Pity that's not anatomically-correct... or life-size (or larger, yum). I would totally do rude things to it.

Annie said...

OMG! PAUL! That's an action figure? Fooled me. I've read debates about cheating. Some people consider just 'thinking' of swaying from your partner with another real-life person is 'cheating'. Some say it's got to be a physical act. I think you have to rely on your conscience. If you're feeling guilty, you must love Matthew beyond just finding him a good actor (LOL...) If it's open and your loved one knows of your infatuation, it's no longer cheating? Yes?

We can just call it "Admiring God's work". He makes beautiful things, we have to appreciate the art of His work.

My Jack. Your Jack. Getting awefully possessive now, aren't we?

Elliot T. McBeal said...

All that intelligent elaboration that eventually lead to a dolly whose clothes you can't even remove?

Jason said...

OMG, you sound like you are going to molest the doll or Jack.. like TheZebra is going to molest the doll of Jack Sparrows...

savante said...

Yeah, my Jack will be around, nyonya :)

True enough, las montanas.

Don't think I'd want an open relationship either, ru!

True, it all depends on the rules of a relationship since not everyone's hot on monogamy, cliff.

Who, dave... tell me more about the cheap Korean porn...

Isn't it an amazing replica, callen!?

I can imagine what's being done to the figure, kiks :P

Bah, Jack Sparrows doesn't do a thing for me, Jemima.

If he was anatomically correct and life-sized, I'd buy more than a few, jay :P

Definitely possessive of my man, anniiieieie....

I wish the clothes can be removed, elliott.. sigh. Maybe the Blue Fairy would help.

jase, I am thinking of doing so... :P

Paul

William said...

"Lost" is boring! :P

Anonymous said...

Oh... you were talking about this 6" Jack. =P I thought you were talking about the REAL JACK. =P

Well, you can keep this Jack. I want the REAL Jack, which is obviously not 6" in height... LOL. If something else was 6" - ah, that's fine - but height... I think I'll let you have him. =)