With the holiday season at hand - and the accompanying prerequisite festive sales, I'm seriously morphing into that stereotypical shopping queen. Swear this blog isn't gonna turn into the Home Shopping Network but honestly, barely a day has gone by since my previous shopping post that I haven't been steadily wandering the halls with my eyes wide awake searching for marked down prices and my arms decked with paperbags.
Still. I've found just the right excuse! Just wanted an extra little something to add to my mom's Christmas gift package - see what a perfect son I am! - and I figured decadent jewellery always hits the spot. Perfumed scents are far too common nowadays after all, and I seriously doubt she'd consider trying out some of the more risque bohemian dresses I'd get for her.
There's this quaint little shop I know that sells handcrafted jewellery with inlaid precious gemstones, amber and seashells - amongst other glittery shiny stuff :) By the time I got there, my shopping posse comprising of the Lord of Perpetual Yawn, Charming Calvin and his accompanying retinue had already been left behind biting the mall dust being wholly unable to keep up the slapping pace of the true shopaholic. Thankfully though since I think bartering over glittery earrings and shiny chokers would probably have them screaming in a last attempt to safeguard their apparent testosterone-fueled machismo.
Still as I returned to the store, my discerning eye kept going back to a particularly fine piece of amber earrings - seriously the precious natural amber dangles like twin golden mirrors embraced by pure argent blossoms. Took me a while to haggle the price with the tough pareo party salesgals though - especially when that crazy impulsive devil inside me leaps out for an impromptu prank.
Salesgal : You like the earrings, sir?
Paul : Quite lovely actually.
Salesgal : You thinking of buying a gift for your wife?
Paul : My wife? Not married.
Salesgal : Your mother?
Paul : Think again. I'm getting it for myself. See? Don't I look pretty? So how much is it?
Quite frankly the pareo twins were stunned at the novel idea that Mr Average in his obviously heterosexual shirt and slacks could possibly be entertaining unconventional thoughts of parading about in a pair of fabulous amber bobs. Even held the dangling blings to my ear and preened in front of the mirror with diva-ish moves learned from the wannabe models at Tyra Banks.
Don't I look pretty?
Still cost quite a pretty penny but fortunately that momentary distraction was just enough for me to slash the price by at least 35%. Hell, I could have sashayed out of the store with earrings attached - without either of them blinking an eye since they were too busy picking up their astonished ( amused? ) jaws from the polished wooden floor.
Sometimes I seriously wonder at the outrageous things that just pop out of my mouth. Bet Freud would have lots to say about it.
But of course I'd only dare pull such a trick with Charming Calvin ( that honest little man ) safely out of earshot.