Friday, May 02, 2008

Blair Bitch Project

My parents encouraged me to speak my mind even as a kid but for years, I somehow lacked the self-confidence. Took me a while, I'll admit before I dared even utter a single word of disparagement when it came to authority. Certainly not the Asian way to question our elders.

These days, I can't seem to shut up.

Seems like innate bashfulness is an inherited trait in my family since my poor niece seems to suffer from the same. Though Chatty Carmen might be a roaring tiger at home living without fear of reprisals, she seems a far different sort out of doors - fading before my eyes into a timid, bashful wallflower who clings to her mama's hand.

Very surprising. Yet one of the reasons why her mother's afraid of letting her enroll in an all-girls school.

Mean girls
We're not mean! We're really nice girls!

Not sure if my sister-in-law is speaking from bitter experience of course but supposedly an all-girls school is far too exacting and hostile an environment for a fragile blossom like Chatty Carmen - who'd be presumably crushed to a pulp by the prickly elitist roses. Though I know from hearsay that convents aren't exactly friendly to quirky outsiders - after all, witness the mean girls in Constance Billard - I've always thought that an all-girls produced better graduates.

Don't take my word for it. May be hopelessly biased though since most of the girls I know are the products of all-girl convents from Lissome Lorelei to Shameless Shalom. Even my fiercely independent mother - and my grandma come to think of it. Wouldn't even think twice about sending my hypothetical daughter to a single-sex institution of learning.

All boys
Wait! Did you hear that? There's a catfight going on next door!

Never had all that much problems in an all-boys as well - despite the fact that Shalom insists it's a fertile breeding ground for homosexuals. I contend that it's made us far more confident individuals willing to step out in the light.

But what about the innate all-girl backbiting / bitching that we hear so much about? Won't deny that it could be detrimental to a young girl's fragile adolescent psyche to be exposed to the malicious taunts of the mean girl crowd but ... hell, I'd have to prepare my daughter for all that if I ever had one ( though I still prefer the relatively less complex boy-child ). I'm sure my gal Blair - coincidentally - would be able to cope just fine.

Calvin : Whoa. Where is Blair going?
Paul : Like it? Ordered it specially from Paris - note the detailed stitching.
Calvin : Are you crazy? Do you know how much it costs! It's only her school uniform!
Paul : Please. It's her designer battle armour for her social campaign to win over the A-list convent girls. Don't forget her chi chi beribboned Adrien Vincente hairband. Very prep girl chic.
Calvin : OMG. What kind of values are you teaching her?
Paul : Dress like a handmaiden and expect to be treated like one?
Calvin : What is she reading? Is she prepping for her exams?
Paul : Nope. Just some sharp ripostes to be used during close encounters with the junior high bitches. I added some diabolical contingency plans as well.
Calvin : My God. Where is she going?
Paul : To school?

Come on, designer schoolwear, slick hairbands and the handbook of snarky one-liners compiled by yours truly? I guarantee Queen Bee status at least in six months.

Can you tell I'll be one of those crazy over-achiever parents? Poor Blair's gonna be under so much pressure. See what I mean by saying that a boy is far less complicated?

8 comments:

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

I agree.. being a girl is likely to be much more complicated then a guy.

Emo-Happiness said...

Seemmed like the drama
'gossip girl' to me..

savante said...

Definitely more complex, dreamer. Guys are simpler.

Hit the nail on the head, emo.

Paul

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Quentin X said...

Not sure about that. There seems to be more catty bitch sessions amongst the boys in Big Brother Oz '08 at the moment.

Legolas said...

Stand a chance to win the girls but know nothing about them dangerous boys? My girl will definitely be sent to a coed school. Boy as well.

Wan Leonardo said...

I mean, thats the way it is. In Highschool, there will be lots of drama and whatsoever. But hey, look at the bright side, at least they have something 'exciting' revolving around them rather then being robots who only heads to school and listen to boring lectures. At the end, all the drama will turn into memories. And they will laugh back at those days. .

Perky said...

Hey I came from an all-girl school and I turned out fine (or so I think lah)! >:P