Thursday, May 01, 2008

All about Politicking

Politics.

Don't worry, this isn't going to be a rant only about politics. Gonna be about Big Bicep Barry and politics.

You see, I've always thought of him as a perfect candidate for election. Not only does he come from a stable, well-to-do family with good connections, he's eminently presentable and extremely gregarious even in a crowd of strangers. Me, I get tongue-tied but Barry, he'd be out schmoozing, working the crowd with his agreeable hail-fellow-well-met demeanour.

Alcohol
Going all the way for the constituents...

And he does that schmoozing - fluently rattling on about the issues of the day - importantly enough in all three of our main languages. Important enough when you have some of our MPs desperately struggling to articulate their points in sadly broken Bahasa. Makes you wonder exactly what they were doing back on the school bench!

And let's not forget his looks. It's the kind of handsome, square-jawed looks that girlie sophomores swoon over - and yet the trustworthy sort that the arthritic grannies don't fear but depend on to play the hero rescuing that itinerant kitty up in the tree. Looks great on an election poster, I swear.

Of coure Barry looks better wrapped around a pole - especially with his recent tropical island tan - but he ain't never gonna believe me on that.

Paul : Picture this. Big Bicep Barry - from struggling beach bum stall operator to aspiring member of parliament.
Barry : Me run for elections? You must be joking.
Paul : Why not? You already have half the street in your pocket. That would be hundred families at the least. All honest stall operators out to make a living, rallying against increasing rents and inflation. Imagine that!
Barry : They'd probably run after me with pitchforks for not delivering on my promises.
Paul : You can't be worse than a rich kid with a handy camera phone.
Barry : Nah, I can't be the crooked type. You bet there's always those nasty, underhanded deals and politicking going on in parliament.
Paul : But that's where I come in.

Seriously. I managed well enough in the backstabbing politics in high school. Can't you already see me as the savvy yet shady political campaign manager?

No worries. There's four years to go - and I'm a really persuasive speaker.

3 comments:

Dasher Dan said...

Heh. He can't do much worse than the rest of the bozos there, anyways.

William said...

Persuade me with a pole dancing campaign junket.

savante said...

True enough, dan!

Will have to talk to him and see what he says, william.

Paul