Best Buys at Barry's Bargains

Seriously.

Big Bicep Barry is forever surprising me.

Abandoning his usual 9 to 5 career, now he's taken to peddling his wares over at Jonker Street. Not that he's shaking his thong-clad hips in a male burlesque with desperate ladies screaming and waving dollar tips to shove at his waist - though I think that's an excellent moneymaking scheme! - but he's decided to set up shop. Figuring it's the road to financial freedom no doubt - and possibly a way to achieve some early new year prosperity.

Our budding entrepreneur is trying his hand at retail with a makeshift stall - somewhat surprisingly close to the dream dive shop he once had once upon a time.


Everybody go surfing! Surfin USA!
For those who don't know about Jonker Street - it's a street of pre-war shophouses in Malacca that has been refurbished selling trinkets and antiques to cater for tourists. And they have the usual weekend market.

Where my friend Barry's now selling flip flops. Turns out a friend of his had too much of a good thing - a mishandled consignment of flip flops - and our man here's doing the buddy thing by helping offload the goods for cheap at the market. That little favour has sparked off an entrepreneurial fervour like none I've seen before as he's started to think of various inventive methods to sell his products.

Slick marketing exec that he is, Barry can surely charm birds down from the trees with his sweet talk - but it was almost painful watching him try to sell his goods at the market ( with uneven success ). Have you tried selling flip flops at a market? Seriously, it's not that easy trying to hawk beach wear during the rainy season!



Not even for the sake of Montserrat mystique.

Even the passing girls who flirted outrageously with him while indiscreetly checking out his biceps couldn't find it in their mercenary hearts - and purses - to purchase a cheap flip flop. Despite his persuasive spiel.

Barry : Dammit. No one's buying!
Paul : Who buys flip flops in January!
Barry : Well, you did!
Paul : That's coz I got to pinch your nipple. That's always worth something.
Barry : Hey!
Paul : You need a gimmick. Maybe you should climb on a surfboard to attract customers. Play up the beachwear theme. Spin some Beach Boys. Kokomo!
Barry : Good idea! I could make a board out of cardboard scraps instead of using mine.
Paul : And drop the hawaiian shirts! You should go dressed in Speedos.
Barry : In public?!
Paul : Sex sells, B. Gotta show some skin to hustle those flops!

He didn't take the bait. Though I could see from his quiet smile that he was considering the idea.

Wonder what else I could get him to sell. :P