Monday, January 28, 2008

Best Buys at Barry's Bargains


Big Bicep Barry is forever surprising me.

Abandoning his usual 9 to 5 career, now he's taken to peddling his wares over at Jonker Street. Not that he's shaking his thong-clad hips in a male burlesque with desperate ladies screaming and waving dollar tips to shove at his waist - though I think that's an excellent moneymaking scheme! - but he's decided to set up shop. Figuring it's the road to financial freedom no doubt - and possibly a way to achieve some early new year prosperity.

Our budding entrepreneur is trying his hand at retail with a makeshift stall - somewhat surprisingly close to the dream dive shop he once had once upon a time.

Everybody go surfing! Surfin USA!

For those who don't know about Jonker Street - it's a street of pre-war shophouses in Malacca that has been refurbished selling trinkets and antiques to cater for tourists. And they have the usual weekend market.

Where my friend Barry's now selling flip flops. Turns out a friend of his had too much of a good thing - a mishandled consignment of flip flops - and our man here's doing the buddy thing by helping offload the goods for cheap at the market. That little favour has sparked off an entrepreneurial fervour like none I've seen before as he's started to think of various inventive methods to sell his products.

Slick marketing exec that he is, Barry can surely charm birds down from the trees with his sweet talk - but it was almost painful watching him try to sell his goods at the market ( with uneven success ). Have you tried selling flip flops at a market? Seriously, it's not that easy trying to hawk beach wear during the rainy season!

Not even for the sake of Montserrat mystique.

Even the passing girls who flirted outrageously with him while indiscreetly checking out his biceps couldn't find it in their mercenary hearts - and purses - to purchase a cheap flip flop. Despite his persuasive spiel.

Barry : Dammit. No one's buying!
Paul : Who buys flip flops in January!
Barry : Well, you did!
Paul : That's coz I got to pinch your nipple. That's always worth something.
Barry : Hey!
Paul : You need a gimmick. Maybe you should climb on a surfboard to attract customers. Play up the beachwear theme. Spin some Beach Boys. Kokomo!
Barry : Good idea! I could make a board out of cardboard scraps instead of using mine.
Paul : And drop the hawaiian shirts! You should go dressed in Speedos.
Barry : In public?!
Paul : Sex sells, B. Gotta show some skin to hustle those flops!

He didn't take the bait. Though I could see from his quiet smile that he was considering the idea.

Wonder what else I could get him to sell. :P


Lewis said...

Major FFG here (Flip Flop Guy). Nothing like a hot guy in his flips. Any day. Anywhere. Totally turns me on.

TJay Farley said...

Peddling his wares or peddling his ***? Hmmmmm... might be a nice cover for the constabulatory.

Now, this is where I'll disagree with Lewis on flip flops. I can't stand the things on me. I don't like stuff between my toes unless its beach sand or a hot man rubbing oil over me, GRIN.

Anyone else can wear them but I'll stick to TEVA's so similar.

Shah & Drew said...

Uuuuu, I might just drop by Malacca...

He should also pose nude with just a pair of flip-flops covering his...aaahh...i better get back to work...

Quentin X said...

Get him to wear thongs (the underwear kind) to sell thongs (the footwear kind).

Zyklon22 said...

LOL. This I gotta see when I'm back next. Haven't been to jonker for quite a while now.

savante said...

You are making me jealous, lewis! Grab some pics! or a number at least :P

Asked whether he was peddling his ***. Barry answered with a flat no, tjay :P

Easy enough to find him, shah :P

In this cold weather, quentin?

Well, get some muachee for me, zyklon!