Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Technophobia : Techno-Himbos Redux

Just when I thought I'd gotten over being a loser techno-himbo ( and thankfully figured out how to work my cellphone ), some spanking new gadget comes along and smacks me right on the forehead! You can imagine how amazing all these modern thingamacallits are to a techno-himbo like me when I'm far more used to horse-drawn carriages and oil-lamps.

And it's not even the Ipod - which I can't for the live of me figure out how it works! Only a button and a dial? And it makes music come alive? How amazingly simple - and yet surreal.

Me, I'm still finding transistor radios a revolutionary invention.

Baby you can drive my car!

Just yesterday I finally got my third car. Yes, I've already had three cars in my life! Amazing how shockingly adult it makes me feel. Shifting some of my cash around while I refinanced my housing loan, I realized it was far more financially prudent to invest in a new car. Don't get your hopes too high though. Meaning it's not my dream silver-gray BMW. The new car is just the same as the previous model, just of a different shade! This time a darker stormcloud-gray, a far more suitable match for my personality than the previous light bronze.

So what did the technohimbo do this time? No, it's not that I got stumped by the gearshift. I can drive the car.

I just can't work my new car stereo.

Really. Beyond shoving my CD into the required slot, I found that I couldn't figure out what else to do with the stereo. That shiny lil gizmo had a dozen lil dials and buttons that seemed to have no probable function - though I did tentatively hit a few experimentally.

Seriously. Ever seen a blind man navigate a cross junction without traffic lights?

Took me several winding blocks before I even managed to switch title tracks - and that was all after an entire tiring process of endless curses as I mistakenly randomized, repeated and neutralized ( huh? ) the entire recording. I won't even tell you how embarassingly long it took me to find an FM radio station.

But by the grace of God, I finally did catch something three storeys down in the parking basement where I managed to get a brief flicker of static from a local hit music station. Could barely make out Justin Timberlake muttering about what goes around. But I was happy. I'd achieved my own nirvana.

Then Soused Soldat comes along to meet me for some liquid lunch. And blithely shows me the technological wizardry of the magical cash deposit machine at the bank. Seriously. It counts money. It deposits money. I don't have to queue. Golly gee-whiz, what will they think of next?

Hello. I'll be serving you today!

Could they make a hunky 6-foot bank-teller for me to take home instead?

And would you believe it, my new purchase comes with a ( hopefully serviceable ) Ipod Nano that is to be delivered next week! Wish me luck.


Ah-Bong said...

my Gods, same model of different shades.... *faints* save for the BMW lar. :D :D :D

but then again, why BMW??? there's sooooo many roaming around. y isn't there more peugeot or jaguar?! LOL

Ben said...

Oooo....new car! How exciting. I love the feeling you get when you first drive it around. So cool.

I am sure you would know how to work the ipod nano. Well if you dont and you think it might be waste in your hands... pass it to me! :) I would be more then happy to help you out!


queerbarbie said...


DOES EDISON CHEN MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!! SCANDAL. ok sorry i felt like i had to do this, even me lezzie finds him cutesy, what about you guys? sorry, you were talking about cars...?

strapping.shane said...

But hey, isn't the Nano a bit outdated? You'll be a total himbo with it anyway - so you might as well give the iPod to your poor little brother here instead, bwahahahahaha. I'll take good care of it, promise. :)

Yes, I am shameless. I don't care - as long as it's a free iPod. XOXO

Soused Soldat said...

Take one of us for a drive and we'll show you how it alllll works!

ry said...

just treat the player just like you would any tall, dark and handsome stranger(s) - poke, prod, pinch, (insert any rigorous action here), until something turns it(him) on

Ban said...

Aiya... buy car got new ipod? More misery or more fun?

Cyclohelix said...

have fun!!!

William said...

Yes, one doesn't need to queue at the Cash Deposit Machine if it works prefectly. But the reality is, it's always on the blink or really picky with the notes.

Alex said...

Congrats on your new car!!! (See? Doctors are RICH!!!)