The only way he'd venture near the infantry is to date them. :P
So judging by the shockingly child-unfriendly homos around these parts, I've always imagined that Charming Calvin wouldn't be all that interested in having children either. I mean sure I've mentioned it once or twice in my blog and he has replied not unfavourably but that didn't seem to mean anything substantial.
Then somehow yesterday he started talking about babies.
Christmas comes early this year?
Oddly enough. In the recent past, he's never ever brought up that subject before so I've always imagined that he got the heebie-jeebies whenever anything vaguely paediatrics cropped up. That doesn't seem to be the case however. Not sure whether the prohibitive non-politically-correct one-child policy in China has gotten to him - or whether it's the admittedly polluted ( and personality-changing ) water supply in his building.
Or maybe just some bad mooshu pork.
But in a fit of crazed ( pollutant-chemical-induced? ) belligerence, he came up with a nefarious scheme to coerce an innocent girl we know into agreeing to stand in as our surrogate mother. Yes, the pupil has indeed surpassed the master.
Calvin even came up with a roster of names for the baby. Trust me, it was a surreal discussion as we wondered whether to hyphenate our surnames. An odd notion but I've actually seen it done. And you know how important family names are to the Chinese.
I won't quibble over the Chinese names since I hardly speak a word, much less understand the written word - and Calvin would certainly know better. Nothing that rhymes though. Nor anything that repeats itself so no Ting Ting, Ling Ling or Ching Ching. Nothing that is spelled in an abnormal manner, with multiple xyzs or comes with a hideous hyphen either.
Fine. I am a bloody control bitch.
For a Christian name however, I like simple names. Anne. Emma. Grace. Saloma. While our friend there enjoys the more unusual ( peculiar-sounding names ) such as Avril, Britney and Christina. Somehow I wouldn't want any daughter of mine to become a drunken teenage rockstar with a patent disregard for undergarments. Though it's quite a mouthful, we might compromise with the name Elizabeth.
Hopefully it's a boy though. I know, how Confucianist-sexist am I? But Aaron does sound nice, doesn't it? Or maybe a Nate? Can already imagine standing at the banister yelling at a slacker kid called Nate - 'You'd better get your work done, Nathaniel Christopher Wong Kar Wai, before I get upstairs! You hear that!'
Crazy pipe dreams, I know... but imagine a baby all the way from China! I am already feeling all Charlotte York!