Say My Name

Somehow over donuts and coffee Shameless Shalom and I stumbled over an unusual topic of conversation. Our children. Unusual since neither are us live in any expectation of fathering ( mothering in her case ) progeny anytime soon.

Unless it's by divine immaculate conception. With my sins, I seriously doubt I'm in line to receive any such miracle.

Shalom : Doesn't matter to me if it's a boy or a girl.
Paul : But your family name!
Shalom : Shalom so?
Paul : The name will die out!!
Shalom : So?

Have to admit it came as a surprise to me that Shameless Shalom didn't place much store in the family name. Come to think about it, could it be that most girls think that way?


Pondering the value of Confucian values in a modern society
Maybe I'm shockingly old-fashioned ( or a budding neo-conservative at best ) but I've always thought it important to carry on the family line! Such an odd thing to say, I have to admit but I think most Asian men would quietly agree that it's almost an obligation. Not a matrilineal race so my family tree is traced across the generations of far from illustrious men that have come before me - seriously, we actually have a genealogy record with revised editions every five years.

Terribly sexist, I know - but militant feminists out there would be pleased to know that after numerous protests from my outraged female cousins, the ladies finally made an appearance in the family lineage a few years back.

Still it's sad to imagine that I might actually be the cause of a dead stump on the family tree. Certainly an act that would rouse the anger of neo-confucian scholars who frequently cite that to die without offspring remains one of the three gravest unfilial acts.

Obviously one of the reasons I greeted the arrival of my nephew Rambling Raoul with much aplomb - and much relief, I have to admit. With the arrival of another nephew of mine in Penang - the son of my cousin - it practically ensures the continuation of the family name into the next half century at the least, taking a heavy load off my shoulders.

Doesn't stop my grandmother from calling me up every once a month to remind me of my family duty though.

Disrespect! Disgrace! Dishonour! as Charming Calvin would put it.

Unless... like an increasing number of gay families I were to hopscotch over dozens of bureaucratic red tape to adopt an orphaned child from some troubled, war-torn third world country. That would certainly appease my ancestors, I'm sure :) Charming Calvin would prefer a sweet little girl all clad in sugar, spice and all things nice ( probably wants to play dress up if you ask me :P ) but by God, I'd prefer a boy. More biddable if you ask me. Ask around folks who have been around children and quite a number would surprisingly claim that boys are easier to handle.

And yeah, you know it would be nice to carry on the family name. :P