Yet sometimes when I watch the uncontrollable throng of riotous children milling about the malls raising heck on weekends with their bedraggled, bothered and bewildered caretakers, I wonder whether's it's an insane death-wish or an ingrained societal expectation that has embedded itself in my brain ( helped along by the non-to-subtle hints of my biological clock no doubt ). Haven't decided which one it is yet.
Father and son from the Tiffinbox
Not sure what kinda parent I'd make in the future but I have a scary feeling I'll morph into the monstrous no-nonsense displinarian. After all, nowadays we do see monsters in the making. Sometimes I see little children barely knee-high screaming their lungs out in the mall after being denied a treat. Just watching such spoilt, high-spirited brats lording over their hapless parents is enough to make my fingers itch for a cane - since unlike most politically correct folks nowadays, I don't disagree with mild physical punishment. Since I was... well, certainly no poster child myself, I would have to say that time-outs, removal of privileges with a merit system and neverending lectures can only work to a certain extent.
Believe me, any semi-intelligent child can easily find a loophole in such psychological mind games. Sometimes I hear parents ask the question 'Why were you so naughty?' and most times in my head, I know the answer's just as simple as 'Because I can'.
Spare the rod? Certainly a terrifying dilemma for most parents who I'm sure spend sleepless nights worrying. Get a little worried myself each time I watch my little niece grow up as she straddles the terrible twos. In the blink of an eye, she can literally shapeshift from angelic child with halo in place to maniacal devil's spawn. Fortunately her so-called mood swings are still extremely few and far in between and I'm confident her parents would be able to offer a remedy.
Or at least I hope.
21 comments:
Isn't fair for 'us' to offer a family without mother to our offspring? Just my personal opinion anyway.
i totally agree with either adopting or surrogating
and i want 4 children
2 boys 2 girls
then i can train them into a good family quartet, of SATB, doing sacrad chorals, or occasionally be my back up.
hehe....
on a more serious note, i believe good parenting is about good parenting and NOT about whether there's A father & A mother, or 2 fathers or 2 mothers.
if a single parent can provide well, i STRONGLY believe, committed GAY parents with genuine intentions in heart will be SUPERB parents.
and thus we aid in upscaling the fashion sense of the population in whole :p
I think you'd make a wonderful parent Paul. Responsibility and Love - it's all a child needs really. It's harder for single men though, you need an Egg Bank and a willing women to provide womb service too. Heck! I'd donate you a couple of my eggs if they weren't so old and bottom of the barrel. FedEx! I think everybody is entitled to wonder and want a biological child of their own. My guess is your country might be more accepting if the child is biologically yours.
Steps to building a family:
1. Get someone u love
2. Get married
3. have own child or adopt one
GOSH.. Paul is really planning to have a family now.. uhmnn thinking of adoption now pulak..
There's nothing wrong in adopting a child- if you are gay or otherwise. You certainly seem to understand it- pros and cons of adoption- fairly well and I don't see any problem for you in adopting a child.
Problem arises when people adopt children just for the sack of it, may be trying to imitate Jolie-Pitt. A child should not be a trophy to tell the world that you are a considerate person. It is very important to understand the responsibilities that comes with it, I mean other than the financial part.
The issue is not about biological parents, gay parent,........ The question to be answered is 'how much are you willing to give?' because a child will take a lot out of you in many ways.
i don't like kids. the world is overpopulated as it is, and would it really hurt then environment if people were to die out?
But anon, that would also cancel out single parents - which includes the divorced and the widowed.
Like the choir idea, xavier :)
Thanks for the egg offer, anninene.
Always thought of having kids, ceusm. Nothing new about that :P
No worries, imphaldiary, I k now it's a helluva commitment and takes up a lot of time. Actually you wouldn't have any time left :)
Didn't mean to have twenty kids, idiot :) Just one. That would mean a shrinking population.
Paul
Can a single man adopt a kid in your country? If so, I would look into it. I am sure you would make a wonderful and loving parent.
In any case like Spain, the gay and lesbian marriage is permitted yet the adoption is still on question.
Is there real problems on adoption. well sometimes people of the society could not see what does this mean and what concerns with it.
In any case in the world, there are a lots of kids working in their early age, at being a minor, dont have a lot of food nor shelter. how come this people in the society could help them being adopted so that they must have full attention, care and concern.
It is not a question if your gay,lesbian, straight or whatever at least you will have the part of giving it and let them feel what does FAMILY meant.
is there somebody there who is willing to adopt me Paul?
Yay! I wanna see your Paul Juniors...
Seems most generations think the generation that comes after them are monsters ... and vice versa. :oD
Paul dear, having kids means you kiss goodbye to mall-shopping, restaurant-hopping (including Starbucks) and movie-going as you know it, and you become alienated from half your non-parent friends. You sure you can make the lifestyle change?? ;oP
Boy or girl?
Always have this ridiculous "dream" of having children of my own by marrying a "second" wife, a girl from poor family who is desperately looking for a better living and who is also very obedient. In a way that, she'd be a surrogate mother and just take care of the children and housework. In a way also that, she is a legal wife, but "illegally" a "second" wife, while I still enjoy relationship with my gay partner. That is a complete family, isn't it? (Husband+Wife=Child). Am I mad? Am I so cheap and sound so degrading to the female species?? Just a crazy "dream" ok?
Wyler the dreamer.
...actually, I was thinking exactly the same thing as Ru. But then, I think you'd sacrifice whatever necessary for kids if you had them. :)
Pity all the parenting training I get isn't for regular kids. :p
um... I hate children. They scare the hell out of me. I don't think I have any DNA to raise them or anything... So I totally admire that you would make yourself a great parent. But I wonder how little Paul Jr. is going to be. :-)
when i'm ready for it...i'd love to have kids...boys of my own...i'd love to adopt them...esp if they come from cambodia...(like angelina jolie)...show them the love that was denied of them...n tht the world can be truly beautiful n still has hope in it...
n when i do...i'd spare the rod...my dad used the rod on me constantly...it was s often s the three meals we had everyday...n it wasn't just limited to the rod...he wouldn't even spare the hand from my face...even till today...my left ear is slightly longer than my right...effects of being constantly pulled s a form of punishment...
my cousins were brought up without any form of physical punishment...n they're the loveliest cousins one can ever have...n tht's y i believe tht it is possible to raise perfect children without having to punish them physically...
i love children so much...i might not even b satisfied with just a few...tht's y i plan to b a paediatrician...hopefully run n orphanage in cambodia or something...then i'd have at least a hundred children for me to love...tht would b awesome!
Everybody took my idea, damn! I was going to say, start your own orphanage, only in Cambodia, or Romania. You can definitely make them mind then, and you'll have dozens of kids to pour your love out on.
Why don't all you boys get together and do that? Create a kind of co-op or refugee home for orphaned children! That'd be a very selfless and giving thing to do.
I vote Paul have his own biological child. Adoption is great, but I think Paul deserves to look into the face of a child and see himself - that's a miracle gift that keeps on giving.
As for the overpopulation thought: There are so many children being raised right now by unloving parents and this is where our next adult generation is going to come from. We need good caring folks like yourselves to be raising kids. So, chop chop! get busy!
I've been having some of the same thoughts as you, Paul. I've always loved kids and vice versa, but I just never entertained having my own. I won't do it alone, but if I meet the right guy, I'd consider it. Not surrogacy, but adoption.
Unlike some of you said, sexuality IS an issue in the US. Florida specifically excludes gays from adopting. Every other state save Massachusetts forbids gay marriage. Single parent adoption is certainly an option, but what about one's partner? It's so unnecessarily complicated in this country that supposedly is the bastion of freedom and equal rights. Right.
Unfortunately, it's practically impossible for a single man to adopt.
Maybe you and me shd have a marriage of convenience...after all, both from Melaka some more. Imagine the planet-turning joy of our parents!
Then somehow we manage to get...umm...someone else (cos like, owwww)...pregnant with twins and we get one each.
And we live happily ever after in our massive mansion (must have secret rooms for snowie and calvin mah).
Wan or not? :)
Doubt a man could do it, sue. Still a lot of doubt when it comes to a single male... somehow men are seen as crazed uncontrollable sexual predators.
Surely, lotsa hotblooded Spanish studs wouldn't mind adopting ya, neil :)
Me too, alex :)
Would have to have some sacrifice, ru.
Doesn't matter, jk. One of each?
You're not the only one with such wicked reams, wyler. I've heard one or two.
Thanks for the vote of confidence, daniel.
Paul JR would be a terror, shigeki.
Whoa, first time I've heard such passion in your voice, k. You are definitely gonna be a great paediatrician.
Start that orphanage. I'll join ya, daniel!
It'll take time, Michael. At least things are changing over there.
GASP, you're from Melaka too, Spot! Great idea!
Paul
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