HomosexOil

Pleased that his mathematical superiority frequently dwarfs my singularly pathetic summation skills, Charming Calvin was able to make a recent conclusion that my recent bout of fever had a direct correlation with the frequency of heated sessions in his Cosy Crib. Let's humour the fella but for myself, I'd blame it on nasty bacteria ( damn them! ), the crappy weather we're facing lately ( damn the depleting ozone!! ) and a lack of sleep ( damn on-calls!!! ).

Then again, it could be my sheer cranky orneriness.

Proving that I'm not quite the unscientific dinosaur incapable of making a statistical hypothesis, I have finally decided to make a stand of sorts. Surely, earth-shattering news if everyone found out, I'm sure. From the title of this post, you'd be forgiven for thinking that I've discovered some miraculous Lorenzo's Oil that could turn straight men irrevocably gay but I haven't ( unfortunately dammit! ).

For some time, it has been a secret postulation of mine that a certain town in East Malaysia has a higher propensity of producing gay males rather than any other region in the entire country. Since it is quite obvious that I'm endangering my life by revealing such a shockingly controversial hypothesis, the name of the town shall be kept anonymous though it's quite as famous for the production of oil as it is for exporting hot men. It is my current belief that the oil seepage contaminates the potable water sources of the people in that doomed region, therefore contaminating and polluting the DNA of the innocent folks there after consumption - which invariably leads certain fabulous sections of the thoroughly bewildered DNA helix to gradually mutate into the gay gene!


Sure this isn't somewhere in East Malaysia?
Which leads to a higher propensity for window decoration, Barbra Streisand fanclubs and sheer fabulousness in that particular town. Slowly put your hands up if you're from the aforementioned town and you'll probably see more than a few other homo hands coming up in unison ( oddly enough more than the gay national average, I'm sure ). Trust me, someone really needs to study this. Perhaps the Scientia Concilium ab Notroh?

BTW, still a bit feverish if you hadn't guessed from the mildly delirious ramblings. As my lovely literary Jo March used to say, genius burns after all. :)