Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A Man Worth Fighting For

My cousins seem to have a peculiar sixth sense when it comes to finding that particular empty space in my work schedule available for them to come crash. Somehow they always manage to make an unprecedented stop in town - coincidentally! - just when I've cleared my work for the week.

Which is how I ended up wining and dining Fabulous Fanny yesterday when she came down for her annual general meeting. Not easy getting ahold of this busy queen bee but I managed to con her into sharing a roast peking duck.

When she's not busy tracking down gullible clients to talk them into parting with their generous wallets, Fanny's usually trying to avoid the bevy of equally gullible men trailing behind her offering their hearts. Wouldn't surprise me if they were one and the same :P Despite the fact that she cleans up real nice, it always astonishes me to find her fending off persistent admirers - but then again, I'm the older cousin who has seen her rising up in the morning to stand in line for the communal family bathroom with her fair face utterly devoid of make-up and cosmetic artifice with unflattering bedhead and morning drool.

Unaware of the disastrous morning transformation, the men still do come knocking on her red door ( lucky her dammit! ). Including a certain clingy ex-boyfriend who stuck to her desperately like a leech when told that it's over.

Fanny : I finally dumped him.
Paul : It's only been six months. But that's a record, I guess.
Fanny : Very funny. He's an approval-seeking mama's boy, he can't make any decisions for himself... hell, he can hardly stand up for himself. I practically have to prop him up with a pretend spine.
Paul : Uh. Yuck.
Fanny : I certainly wouldn't want a macho macho man like the guys in the family but I wouldn't want to date a wimp either!
Paul : Dump him then.

Couldn't agree fast enough. Of course we talked for hours on her stringent criteria for the perfect boyfriend going through several pots of black tea - in between various tidbits on the scandalous affaires of my other cousins.

She did make some good points.

Man's back
Do you really have to do this? See, I do actually have a spine!

Although I thought Fanny could be a tad critical at times, let's face it I'm certainly no different since I found myself nodding along as she ranted about her mating misadventures with Pew Wimp Herman.

Since I have no real desire to play the role of the dashing prince charging to the rescue, I wouldn't want someone who'll cling to me like a spineless limpet either. Seriously rather than praying blindly for the arrival of some mysterious dashing benefactor, I'd expect the guy to rescue himself ala MacGyver!

Mama's boy he may be but I would expect the guy to be able to make up his own mind. I wouldn't want an undecided simpleton depending on me to make the decisions all the time, desperately waiting to be taken care of. God knows I'm no surrogate father material. Not when it comes to my boyfriend dammit. If I wanted someone to take care of, I'd get a pet chihuahua.

Monstrous, aren't I? But then my boyfriend definitely won't be placed on a shiny pedestal to be worshipped, to be perceived as perfectly infallible and utterly flawless from head to toe. Iconic saints don't work for me - and I certainly wouldn't want him to look at me that way either. It would be mighty disconcerting to be held up to such impossible ideals since I'm far from a charming prince and closer to a toad, warts and all.

I want a marriage of equals with a man who'll stand tall by my side. Not that I'm in any need of rescuing but it would be nice to know that he'd be strong enough to lend a hand if I needed it.


Ryan said...

And I'm still looking for that man! Couldn't agree more with your last paragraph!

Janvier said...

Eeeks. Admittedly we'll be looking for someone who's slightly our opposite so as to complement what we lack.

But to each their own - that when they get together, the result is something far greater than the sum of the parts.

We might not be making much sense there. :S

Lewis said...

And the guy in the pic looks like he has a spine, quite clearly. What's wrong with him?
Everyone needs someone to help them think in a balanced, clear, and honest way....unfortunately.

TJay said...

UGH! For Christ sake, can these spinless and clueless in-duh-viduals please stand up for themselves and make the hard choices in life? Sounds like she was smart to get out when the getting was good.

Problem for many of us at the big 40 now is the issue of many of those younger than us seeking to put us out to pasture.

Please walk beside me and not shove me into the ACLF!

charming.calvin said...

Pleeeeaaasseee take care of me... I'm so weak and vulnerable... Pleeeaaassseee I beg of you... I am poor and undecisive...

Queer Ranter said...

Pet chihuahua Paul?! You'll kill it within the hour you get it into your house. :P

But yea, symbiotic couples are better than parasites. :)

Jason said...

Sounds like petting a sugar boy.

savante said...

He's out there somewhere, ryan. ANd don't be surprised he doesn't in the least resemble the man of your dreams.

The opposite, you say, janvier? :)

Obviously nothing wrong from what I can see, lewis.

Not everyone's putting you guys to pasture, tjay :)

Very funny, calvin.

True, I'd probably drown the chihuahua, queer rant.

Sugar boy. Ooh, jason!