Thursday, July 12, 2007

Capers of Chatty Carmen : Donuts & Dumplings

Little girls are made up of sugar and spice.

Well, that's true for at least an hour a day. Maybe two at the most. Especially when they've just graduated from the terrible twos into the terrifying threes. At least that seems to be the case with Chatty Carmen - who invariably morphs into Crabby Carmen according to the varying phases of the moon. Believe it's linked to the sugar level in her blood as well. Far as I know, a sugar rush seems to soothe the savage beast.

Finished work early today and decided to take Carmen out for a walk ( to free her exhausted mom for some much-needed retail therapy ). Slipped an emergency syringe of sedatives from work in my pocket just in case. Who knows, I might get so raving mad that I'd need to calm myself down.

True to her vaguely Gypsy-sounding name, Carmen remains all rough-and-tumble tomboy with skinned knees and scuffed jeans. Since her mother shares a similarly curious aversion to frilly ruffles and curls, Carmen came out all dressed up like a denim ragamuffin Pippi Longstocking - alas minus the red pigtails.

Come take me for a ride...

One would think I was taking my little Huck Finn for a river raft trip down the meandering Mississippi.

Mounting sartorial issues didn't trouble her as much as everything else did however. Seriously. Carmen's at that curious age where every sentence invariably ends with a question mark. Where a silent period seems almost like a hushed profanity.

Carmen : Why are you looking at that uncle?
Paul : Because he looks hot in a tanktop and he has arms I wanna lick?
Carmen : Lick?
Paul : Look! It's lunchtime.
Carmen : What's lunchtime?
Paul : What do you want for lunch?
Carmen : Why do you need to have lunch?
Paul : I might be putting on weight but I'm not starving myself.
Carmen : Starving yourself?
Paul : Sigh. How about some chinese food?
Carmen : Why chinese food?
Paul : Because it's nice? Because I like it?
Carmen : Why Chinese?
Paul : Because you're much too Westernized?
Carmen : Why too Westernized?
Paul : Because your father's an Anglophile?
Carmen : What's an Anglophile?
Paul : Someone who doesn't eat chinese.
Carmen : What..?
Paul : Look! A plane!

I admit I hate to lose as well. Especially to a pint-sized sweetheart :) But we were attracting curious attention aimlessly pointing at shop signs in the middle of the crowded walkway ( and despite my hushed whispers, she tends to speak in ear-pounding decibels no doubt thinking that I've gone prematurely deaf in my approaching senility ). Unfortunately had to keep my wandering eye safely on the ladies who shop since I didn't want her catching me drooling over some strolling gym stud.

Well. At least not twice!

After a short game of rock, paper and scissors, we ended up with donuts and dumplings. A compromise.


Ryan said...

At first you told her you saw a hot uncle with arm you wanna lick, and at the end you said you have to keep your eyes on the ladies instead of gym stud?!

Hmm... confusing!?! Perhaps the dialogue is a made-up one. LOL... Anyway, talking about bringing out a girl for a walk, I missed my time walking my dog in the evening when I was young. It was a very cute little puppy. My dad abandoned it to the forest after a few years because our home got too may dogs to feed. Awww... miss it so much!

conan_cat said...

lmfao... thats why i hate kids, that day my group and i went to this art center to do an interview on kids' games nowadays, and those 6 and 7yo GIRLS literally SHOUTED at us throughout the whole session and refused to cooperate. argh. i hate girls.

Annie said...

LOL! A day in the life of times TWO... Whoever invented the question mark should be shot. Lovely of you to give poor exhausted mummy a break from chatty carmen... at first I thought you were talking about a co-worker... easy enough to mistake for.. all little girls do eventually grow up to be chatty women. no? Uncle... silly silly Uncle..... she doesn't eat chinese food?

Janvier said...

*Cringes* Oh goodness. So many questions...and from observant childlike innocence.

Jonzz said...

Ah, kids, no wonder some parents have the standard line, "Be quiet dear, don't talk so much" when they ask questions or feign ignorance.

ethnwg said...

she must be darn cute


Ah-Bong said...

LOL. Blessed be Paul, if tht's what u really are. Ur little Carmen is darn cute, tho i have to agree taking someone like her once a while is by far better than having a full time of my own. LOL... i wonder if my mind would change by the time i graduate, that i decided i'll just get my own little "carmen" to shut up "someone" 50s and 60s. LOL

aNson said...

i feel like my english is bad when i'm here.. I can barely understand the language..

Queer Ranter said...

I wanna go shopping too~~~

William said...

The mouth on kids these days... I remember I used to be such a log. Just drag me into a department store and my mouth would just gape and my eyes the size of plates....

coolgardy said...

u got a nice FH...

savante said...

It's as weird as it gets, ryan.

Can imagine. girls that age can be wild, conan.

She hardly eats sometimes. Bet she's on a diet of some kind, anniieiiee.... How do you deal with two!

I know! Isn't it sweet, janvier?

Starting to develop that line myself, jonzz. Haven't resorted to that yet though.

She is darned cute, ethan!

Wouldn't mind having my own Carmen as well, ah bong.

Really? Will tone it down, anson :)

You already do that, queer rant!

Some of them deserve a spanking I believe, william.

Thanks, coolgardy.


Jason said...

Ugh... that's why I hate kids. -__-"