Always difficult to write about something you guys wouldn't know about me - since let's face it, I've written most everythingthat has happened in the past two years. But here goes, eight things you never knew about me.
1) I'm particularly obsessive compulsive. You can imagine how long I take to check all the locks in the car and my house. No one knows this better than Charming Calvin especially since he's seen me taking ten minutes just to maneuver my car perfectly into the parking lot, symmetrically aligned with the drawn lines. Simply cannot imagine how pissed off I get when I see some misguided idiot parked haphazardly without regard for the parallel lines ( are they freaking blind? ). Still it's remained a bit of a quirk, haven't crossed the line of no return into partial insanity.
2) My classmates claimed I once bullied a kid out of primary school. Since my memory's sadly failing, I can't exactly recall who or why - or even if it actually happened ( come on, I'm a shy wallflower! ) - but according to various skewed reports, I was quite the wicked schoolyard bully. And a traumatized Morgan ( that was the boy's name ) went wailing out of school never to be seen again. Maybe he was run over by a schoolbus outside the gates.
3) I'm also a bit of a pseudo-kleptomaniac. Scary, I know. Illegal, I know. Certain to put me behind bars, I know. Not that I've actually stolen anything - so far I've been able to resist the call of the dark side but every once in a while, I find myself wondering ... so what if I were to just slip something insignificant into my pocket. And then I figure if I were to get caught for stealing, I'd rather risk it for a million - and Chris Evan's ass.
4) Never was a prefect. Despite being in a thousand clubs and societies, I never wanted to be a prefect. I was called up for the interviews and just said no - no doubt to the horror of the teachers. Not only didn't I want to strut around in the shockingly see-through white slacks ( I ever tell you guys about the hot prefect in red briefs? ), I didn't want to be a gatekeeper or valet either. Then I was made the class monitor by unpopular vote.
5) I once punched somebody out in school. It was semi-accidental ( though the intent was there ) but it still left a minor bruise over his cheekbone. Me, I had a torn shirt pocket. When the discipline teacher asked, we claimed he'd walked into a door and fell onto me.
6) I once bungee-jumped somewhere Down Under. Almost lost my lunch. Unfortunately I lost my cert instead. Damn.
7) As an experiment felt up a girl before. Boobs are nice. Soft and squishy. Nice pillows. Didn't get any sorta charge though which pretty much confirmed my gay theory. Even the nape of a handsome man gets me hot.
8) Once had an odd, vaguely incestuous crush on one of my second cousins. Really hot, tanned hunk with biceps, soulful dark eyes and a bristly six-o-clock shadow. Spent the time shadowing him as he worked part-time in his family's little sundry shop down in South Thailand. Lunchtime slurping noodle soup while fantasizing of supping on his heaving pecs. And then later at night my itchy hands accidentally slipped down his shorts. Thai men are good to guests. Wonder whether he's married now.