Saturday, July 14, 2007

Something LeStrange About This

Midsummer's right about here and what better, more enchanting time could there be for a boy wizard and his wand-flashing friends to come take a visit.

Seriously. I know I'm supposed to concentrate on Harry Potter battling teenage angst - not to mention the upcoming O.W.L. exams, the rogue Dementors launching domestic attacks, the increasingly authoritarian Ministry of Magic and worst of all the suspiciously tittering Dolores Umbridge, an overzealous bureaucrat later turned reformist headmistress. The boy wizard has his magical hands full this time - and not only with the nubile Asian nymphette curiously named Cho Chang.

Not easy squeezing a veritable encyclopaedia of Pottermania into a reasonably brief 2 hour movie and I applaud the director's overzealous summarizing efforts. Seems like dozens of characters slip out of the cracks in Order of the Phoenix. Easy enough to see how the movie would disappoint the loyal readers since lots of minute details and intriging plot points were dropped out. Fascinating Nymphadora Tonks barely spoke two sentences and poor Bellatrix Lestrange was reduced to screaming hysterics in seconds.

And all I could think of was Harry disturbingly naked patting a horse.

Daniel Radcliffe
Come take me for a ride...

Fortunately the boy is partially legal now. At least in some liberal countries. Not sure about the legality of bestiality though! :P Still it's extremely weird watching juvenile Potter and immediately flashing to a scene of him horseriding in the buff.

Still I am pleased to note that spellcasting seems to have taken the forefront this time with magical duels playing a role in the final confrontation between Dumbledore's Army and the far more experienced Death Eaters. Extremely dull watching the kids playing around with simplistic Expelliarmus for episodes on end.

Pretty sure I'd have been a prime candidate for the House of Slytherin myself. Parseltongue...resourcefulness...determination...a certain disregard for the rules... Hell, I'd have broken a few rules, tossed a few hexes and possibly got thrown out of school for attempting Unforgivable Curses. Don't speak snake though. Then again I might have joined goody-two-shoes Dumbledore's Army since I would have thoroughly enjoyed sneaking about under the nose of authoritarian regimes.

Unfortunate Orderly : Doctor. Doctor. I'm sorry to disturb you this late but I need to...
Paul : Cruciatus!
Unfortunate Orderly : Eeeee... have mercy!
Paul : Avada Kedavra!

Immediate expulsion to the prison of Azkaban for sure.


Ryan said...

Daniel (the Harry Potter) still a young kid for me. At least I still think he is. So imagining him patting a horse... (yeah the picture, I know!) still doesn't really "arouse" me.

Anyway, luckily I never finish the 5th book. I just watched the movie yesterday. And I find it OK. Not very impressive but not boring though.

Lada said...

Hehehehe.... so you watched Harry Potter, too.

I think Harry looked like young Clark Kent, with his glasses and his "spiffy" new haircut. And don't you think that Voldemort in a suit was surprisingly sexy? If only he had a real face instead of that snake face.

lowshighsandalibis said...

i lust for him but he's just too young.. maybe i need to wait for a few more years...


xoussef said...

sure it's hard to get the uncensored photos out of your head!
Avada Kedavra is baaad! Slytherins don't seem to have that much fun anyway!
i am curious to know what do you think your Patronus would be?

Stephen said...

Just got back from the cinema having taken my nieces and nephews to see it. I remember disliking the book so much compared to the others that I still haven't bothered reading book no.6, but I enjoyed the film more. Again, not as much as the last two.

The kids loved it though!

Queer Ranter said...

I didn't like the movie... Sucked even though I wasn't expecting anything...

I prefer Daniel with clothes though. He's too hairy for my liking, very bear-ish. :P

kon kon said...

It is truly disappointing how they summarised everything. And their acting! When are they gonna improve on it??

Tsk tsk.. Should have waited till the cheap tickets were out..

Ah-Bong said...

harry potter movies are always such huge disappointment when u've read the book. it forever was, forever is, and forever will be.
i haven't watched order of phoenix, alex said to go watch when the heat's over. well, wasn't expecting much, but would love to see how the whole DA were tortured by the death eaters in the ministry. hah, and that umbridge, can't wait to see. been reading good reviews abt her.
and paul, those unforgiven curse.. darn inspiring... i could just "cruciatus" my lab partner! LOL

ikanbilis said...

sadly enough the movie is a big disappointment but thankfully, not the photo. oh.....

Lewis said...

Didn't see the movie, probably won't....but could I make one little request of you; Stop posting those totally hot pictures of him! It's driving me crazy.....especially that little fuzzy happy trail just below his beautiful belly button.....and those low-rise jeans......ahhhhh!!!

savante said...

He even did a photo shoot for Details recently, ryan.

But then again, Voldemort is Ralph Fiennes and that man is fine, lada :)

Takes a long whlie more, lowshighandalibies.

My Patronus? A dragon maybe, xoussef?

Seriously wished the books were a bit shorter though, stephen. Getting a bit unwieldy. Can't imagine the next.

You and your hairless twinks, queer rant :P

Doubt they have time for acting school, kon kon :P

Ah, cruciatus. Just imagining my victims, ah bong.

True, ikan bilis.

Seems like Daniel Radcliffee has a new fan, lewis :)


Trey Cruz said...

LOL @ Harry patting a horse. That's the exact same thing I thought too. Everytime he said something, in my head I was thinking "I can't believe I saw him naked"

Ning said...

Do u not think charming calvin looks like harry?