Monday, July 02, 2007

My Hubby to Be

I think I might have stumbled over the perfect husband.

Of course I'd have preferred to have tumbled the guy but them's the breaks.

Gregory Montgomery. Sure he's married to a certain dizzy blonde hippie environmentalist named Dharma but hell, I think I could take her. With her belief in the kindness and goodness of strangers, she's certainly trusting enough to eat the special organic carrot cake I'd make - and then later I can spend the entire wake soothing the hunky widower and his bereaved pets, Nunzio and Stinky.

My husband Greg and some blond woman
My husband Greg and his late wife, the blond Amazon!

Don't think I've gone off the marital bend and betrayed poor Charming Calvin this time. All this only happens in situational comedies on television - specifically the perky Dharma & Greg that ran for a measly five seasons way back ( and recently released in DVD boxsets! ). The staple of television comedies with the perennial tale of opposites attract - this time with the straight-laced, blue-blood attorney impulsively hitching himself to a free-spirited, hippie yoga instructor.

Cue the laugh track.

Well at least for the first season or two.

You would think that I'd be the kind who'd go for the growling bad boys of steamy afternoon soaps but you'd be wrong there! I've always gone for the good fellas - such as the hunky Gregory above. The squeaky-clean mama's boys who predictably slog from 9 to 5 only to rush home to prepare gourmet dinners in their perfect kitchens.

Paul : What's the rush, honey?
Husband : It's 7.03, my coffee's two degrees too hot and I can't find my work underwear!
Paul : Well it's probably in the wash so you can get extras from your emergency work underwear drawer next to your extra buttons for monogrammed shirts compartment.
Husband : Too true. Sorry for snapping at you.
Paul : Not a problem, sweetie. Get me some organic bran muffins on the way back.
Husband : If I get back early, we can probably schedule in some make-out time after dinner at 9!
Paul : Sounds lovely. Get some lube on the way out too. We're running out.

Sounds really Stepford, I know.

I leave the wicked hunka burning loves for the more adventurous ( suicidal? ) souls amongst us. Me, I like them stable, reliable and a bit of a fuddy-duddy sometimes. If I want excitement, I can always get tickets for the roller coaster.


Vengelyne said...

Mmm hmm... you've got good taste there. I used to like Greg, too when I was so obsessed with Dharma & Greg many many donkey years ago. =)

I don't believe in one night stands, but I'd definitely do Greg, provided he's free of STDs. >_<

Ryan said...

Yay! That guy is cute! Never really watched the show. Just caught a few episodes.

Well, I like the family kinda guy, but make sure he's romantic, creative and not-so-stupid!

Cyclohelix said...

Gregory, remembered the part where Dharma discovered the routine of Greg, and her mom forced him to believe he is a right-hander during

TJay said...

ROFL!!! Too damn funny about the lube comment!! Why do I get the impression that you'd be waiting in something leather? GRIN

Speaking of men, my friends gave me a 40th birthday cake that you would have loved... An ass-cake.. specifically a cake in the shape, proportion (think bubble) and skin tone of an Asian man... surrounded by rainbow candy phalic pieces...



jason said...

Greg is cute. And that's a nice name too (I think...)

JL said...

oh oh.. this one i know... i like Dharma... she is the epitome of fun! :P

joshua said...

i hv had like a longtime crush on Greg there... yum!

Sue said...

Have you seen him on his new show "Criminal Minds" where he plays a profiler? He is really hot on that one. So is one of his costars, Shemar Moore, who is smokin'. Brains are really sexy, are they not Doctor Paul?

joshua said...

Was watching Criminal Minds for the first time the other day and when I saw this familiar cute face I just couldnt remember where I've seen him before...

GOSH I've forgot abt Dharma & Greg! The show was funny, and the chemistry between two totally opposite ppl was so great and often hillarious.

Opposite attract. I mean you n C.Calvin, Dr Paul :)

savante said...

I wouldn't mind doing Greg as well, vengelyne :P

Go catch the rest of the season, ryan. IT's out in DVD.

I actually kinda like Greg's wicked mom. God, she has the bext lines, helix.

Whoa, waitig in leather, tjay! :)

It is a nice name, jason.

Hilarious lady, jl. Not sure if I could live with her kooky notions tho.

Gosh, you know Greg too, joshua!

Have seen bits of Criminal Minds, sue. A serious kinda guy there, right.

I know. Dharma and Greg had such great chemistry.