Blue Spanish Eyes

With relatively free-seating during Chinese banquets, you can count yourself lucky if you're not seated between irksome relatives and bothersome frenemies. Or that amiable though mindlessly chattering fifth-auntie you're obliged to invite. Fortunately in my family we like lists - and table seatings are a prime favourite.

A fortunate circumstance since during a prolonged Chinese ten course dinner, you can find out the most peculiar things about your friends. Guess the free-flowing river of alcohol helps loosen the tongue. Unfortunately Big Bicep Barry's shirt remained puritanically buttoned despite my determined attempts to get him thoroughly soused.


Rock on!!
Okay. I admit he did unbutton a bit as the dinner progressed since the restaurant was turning unbearably hot. Being the gentleman that I am, I refrained from leaning over to squeeze lime on his chest and lick the deep cleft between his pecs.

Not to mention Charming Calvin was watching with evil eye barely metres away as he chomped suggestively on his durian chocolate cake.

Still... over abalone and shrimp, Barry managed to let fall several of his secrets from eschewing shark's fin ( a budding environmentalist this one ) to his fantasy of turning into a crazed guitar-banging rockstar.

Barry : I could wear hot leather pants, break my electric guitar and scream on stage.
Paul : You can do that right now.
Barry : Nah, people watching.
Paul : You could unbutton your shirt. Rockstars always unbutton.
Barry : Very funny. I was even a woman once. A Spanish seniorita.
Paul : You're a Spanish woman?
Barry : In a past life, si senor.
Paul : Holy transsexualism Batman!

And then he started to wax lyrical over Yang Guifei chanting favourite lines from a classic poem no doubt memorized back in school. Me, I count myself lucky if I can recall Three Blind Mice. Wouldn't have surprised me if Barry had been a reincarnation of that particular besotted poet since he seemed hopelessly enamoured of the rumoured full-figured Chinese beauty of ancient times.

Or it was the vodka talking.