Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Beach Bum Barry

With his guileless smile, his glib tongue and that easygoing charm, I would assume that Big Bicep Barry would be the perfect candidate for a man dealing with sales. I mean, how could someone resist his sales spiel? Trust me, the man could sell an igloo to an Eskimo ( provided they like guys with big guns ).

Barry
Yo, care to buy a bridge in Brooklyn?

Seems like the man's getting tired of chasing down clients all the way to the Arctic. Unable to reconcile with the endless slog in the family company, Big Bicep Barry has decided to branch into other paths instead. Somehow or rather drinking heavily during the other night has left him with multiple epiphanies. Weary with the neverending back-breaking obligations, he sent me a message this evening asking for some brainstorms. Since my first idea of working as a part-time gigolo cum pole dancer wasn't exactly to his discerning tastes, I managed to come up with several alternatives instead.

Accountant

Dead boring, I know. But it does play to his skills - and obviously to his original job specifications. And hey with thick black frames and tie, he'd make a pretty sexy accountant.

Barry : It's been years. You do know that I can't recall anything about accounts now, right?

Diving instructor

Sure he'd love this job. Ferrying customers and students back and forth to the deep blue sea. Spending the other half of the time as the proverbial beach bum shelling, strumming the guitar and gazing at the waves. Not sure what his workaholic parents would think though ( would probably have a stroke come to think about it ).

Barry : Make that multiple heart attacks.

Club Med GO

Can't believe we never thought of this before. It's just perfect for a gregarious, amiable sort like him. Me, I would clam up and stare at people in bovine stupidity but I'm sure Barry would be happily chatting the Gentils Membres up in minutes.

Barry : Would they hire me?

Lounge singer

Last I heard he's still pretty much a karaoke king ( horror of horrors ). This renaissance man can strum a few tunes, mumble a few lines and he sure isn't afraid of the glaring spotlight. After all he did it all very well some time back. Anyone with a stage care to let him try?

Barry : Uhh... no woman no cry?

Shopkeeper

Seriously. His idea, not mine. Supposedly the man has a mini nest egg stashed somewhere and wouldn't mind investing. Not sure what he's gonna sell though. Even with his vaunted charm, I doubt we could sell second-hand board shorts only ( since he has an endless collection from Billabong and Quiksilver ). What could he sell? Maybe he could open ye olde curiosity shop peddling reproduction antiques and I could be the buyer!

Barry : Hmmm...

We'll let him sleep on that.

11 comments:

Lewis said...

Now wait, I'm kind of, sort of, a beach bum too.....but I don't look like this. What's up?

Ryan said...

Let me know if he happened to try part-time gigolo cum pole dancer. I don't mind being his first customer.

:: samasam :: said...

dude, need ur mail add. mine is sam.zahri@gmail.com ..

mstpbound said...

i am so sick of lab right now that i might go with the shopkeeping option :/

jason said...

Do alert us where he'll be working. We'll come running. :P

jay said...

I did accounts 2 years ago and I can't remember anything either. What about a consultant. He uses his charm, his business skills and gets to explore tons of different places and industries.

Holden said...

How about being a masseur? Or is it masseuse? Damn, I don't know how to spell that... um, a person who massages people for a fee...? Am sure he'd be a shoo-in...

Sue said...

He could combine the Club Med / Dive Instructor / gigolo roles all into one and earn some serious cash I am sure. It would probably be a blast too!

Annie said...

I agree with Sue.

Jack.. *cough*.. Barry of all trades.

savante said...

Maybe it's the fresh air, lewis :P

Trying to imagine him pole dancing, ryan :)

Did that already, samasam.

Lab work is boring, I have to agree. Not gonna be forever, mstpbound.

I'll be there as well, jason.

Consultant for what, jay?

Masseur. Good idea, holden. Shall tell him that.

He would stare at the gigolo idea, I'm sure sue.

Anniiieee, Barry of all trades :)

Paul

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