Talking on the phone has always been one of my anathemas - especially lately - and I've actually become quite addicted to sending short mesages through my mobile. So much simpler, far more private than yelling into a bad connection and it doesn't cause a hue and cry in the hospital. And anyway hell, I'm better at expressing myself in writing. Over the phone, I'm usually a grumpy, monosyllabic Neanderthal grunter but over short messages, I can be funny, witty and almost endearingly charming - in spite of my hideous homely features. At least I hope so... Sexy shaggable elves, malay uncles and dreaming pilgrims will have to attest to this.
As oblivious as the man can be, even Barry has gotten the message that I'm a closet phone monster. Somehow all the urbane charm I possess ( limited amount though it is ) gets flushed down the drain the minute I answer a phone. His short, infrequent, occasionally curt messages at certain hours finally made sense a few days ago when I inadvertently stumbled over a message ( sent by mistake to me ) detailing his financial woes. Did you all know that messages have peak and off-peak hours? :O I know. I can be such a brainless himbo sometimes.
Lately the poor, overworked man has been busy working hard for his money - trying to drum up reluctant clients for his family business - which means slogging away for more than 12 hours a day on weekdays ( and somehow squeeze in his insanely torturous gym routine to destress after his full workday by tossing dumbbells about ) and the occasional weekends. The inevitable pitfalls of a relentless Chinese family-run enterprise, I'm sure. Serving his clients doesn't leave him much free time lately but he does send the occasional gripe to let me know he's still solidly in the land of the living.
Barry : Damn, you know of any good fast money schemes?
Paul : Burn and sell pirated DVDS! Corral all your hot Vietnamese migrant workers and have them dance naked for a private audience.
Barry : Not many beefcakes around. Won't sell tickets.
Paul : Perhaps you could be the male burlesque headliner. Big Boy Barry of the Kayu Jatis. I'd get an audience for you and charge tickets.
Barry : Funny. Maybe I could sell my kidneys.
Paul : Think stripshow. Much less painful.
Even the occasionally voluble Barry found it nigh impossible to make a reply.
A wise friend of mine once said I should let Barry and my ISO read my blog. Can you imagine that impossibility? I'd probably have to move permanently to the furthest reaches of the Alaskan territories ( draped in a shapeless purdah lest I be recognized ) and camp out alone ala Brokeback to avoid the sheer embarassment!
15 comments:
Hey, it would do Barry good to read your blog - might even give him the kick-start he needs, lar. You'd both get over the embarrassment soon enough. ;oP
Your ISO? Yeah, book flight tickets. LOL!
You could offer to move in together to share the mortgage - and maybe even the bathwater.
I agree that Barry should be allowed to read your blog. Surely no manly heart can remain unaffected by your online professions of love? :-p
But then you might have to cut down on the Chris Evans pics as well.
Ha.ha...I told you already.
Ask him to read. End of this "he loves me, he loves me not" drama.
You will be happy. Trust me. At least you will not grow old regretting the fact of you not knowing how he feels about you.
You know, I'm beginnging to think you should just confront Barry.
There isn't much point left to trying not to 'tip the boat' if you're resorting to avoiding. He's your friend now and still will be.
Did you really tell him you call him Barry sometimes?
He's obviously just shy. You ought to get up onstage and shake it with him.
What's there to loose? Just go for it and at least you know it's out...if it happens, it happens. If not, cest la vie! You start again! You still young my friend!
Let Barry read the blog! But only if you've determined he's into you. Otherwise, you might find yourself shutting up about how you really feel for good. Well, IMHO anyway.
And what is that about peak and off-peak rates? I thought the whole nation is on flat rates liao!
there's something to be said for letting those closest to you read your blogs (save your parents)
sometime we write (esp you and me who seem more comfortable writing than talking..) what we cannot say but want to..
maybe you should. or maybe you shouldn't. there are pros and cons about this things and i hope you really had given a thought about it thoroughly.
wish you the best of luck paul darlin'.
may the barry be yours. amen.
Yeah, I really wonder whether he's into you, maybe he's just shy or terribly closeted.
Maybe when he knows how you feel, he'll open up. ;-p
I agree with all the others; let Barry read the blog. You have nothing to lose at this point. My advice: Don't go to Alaska in a Burka, you will freeze.
Most guys here are in favour of letting Barry read all this. God, I'm having palpitations just thinking about it. :) But I'll put all that into consideration.
And yeah, I might have to cut down on the Chris Evans obsession if anything happens, jay :P
Neanderthal grunting is not sexy, evan :)
Leggy darlin, not sure I truly want to know by now :)
sue, alaska in a heavy burqa. I'd get many many layers. Beautifully embroidered ones too.
Paul
Hi Paul,
I have been following your post & love your stories..life & such..wiush i can write like you..on a more serious note,against the rest of the guys, you should not, at this point anyway let BBB read your blog."Work" on him a bit first..
love ya
James
Thanks, James :) We think alike!
Paul
Post a Comment