Monday, February 06, 2006

Thinking straight

With all my talk of licking Chris Evans from head to toe, I've certainly left no doubt that I'm a screaming fag. But there are days when I do wish that I'd actually turned out as my parents - and obviously society at large - expects of all seemingly normal red-blooded males which is hopelessly heterosexual. It would have been so much simpler to be straight - I'd probably be happily married with three lusty children by now.

Don't be shocked. Yeah, sometimes I do think straight. Today isn't one of those days however.

I do have a large number of female friends, more than a few actually which has given rise to the occasional rumours bubbling in the hospital although we all know it's absolutely baseless of course. Since I've been the object of speculation for years, I've learnt not to bother much about mindless gossip. It's the essential oil that keeps the cogwheels of the hospital running smoothly after all - without it, I bet we'd be at each other's throats in seconds. Nothing like a lil bit of gossip to ease some tension.

More than a few of my female friends are still resolutely single. And sometimes when I see how fabulous and wonderful they are, it frequently makes me wonder what's wrong with the straight men out there! Damn, if I were straight, I'd be making out with more than half of them myself. Then I see this article in the papers.

Holding handsThere are girls in their thirties out there who actually want to be alone. Choosing to be alone? Seriously? I know the girls are independent, I know they are intelligent, I know they can stand on their on two feet. No one's doubting their innate resourcefulness but that isn't the point at all, is it?

Hell, I do know I can stand alone on my own two feet but it's always nice to have a partner, someone out there that I can count on during the days I just need to lean for a while, someone with shoulders broad enough for me to weep silly tears, someone with a kind ear to listen when I have something funny to say ( and even sometimes when I have nothing much to say :) ). There's no shame at all in walking alone but to hide from all the opportunities out there is plain cowardice. Coping alone isn't all that difficult - hell I've done it for months now. It's actually far more difficult sharing your life and feelings with someone else. Still quite a shock to wake up and realize someone else's toothbrush and boxers has invaded your closet space!

Sure, I might have had a failed relationship in the past but that certainly hasn't given me a skewed view of men in general. There are some horrible bastards ( more than a few actually ) out there but somewhere in the morass of jerks and scumbags, there are a few unpolished gems that are just waiting to be picked up.

And I'm gonna grab that chance the minute I see it.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

So I guess I am one of those girls who'd rather be alone and stand on my feet all by myself....

I know it's nice to have a partner but... I am too used to being single for a year now. I am actually liking this. though I might end up die alone.

I even go to watch a movie alone on Friday. Some say I am independent. Some others say I am sad.... haha

savante said...

Well, it's okay to watch alone. I've done it hundreds of times but it's still nice to have someone there.

Paul

MrBunnyBan said...

I don't know. Maybe these girls are onto something.

Anonymous said...

Somehow, the "Sunscreen" speech to the class of '99 of Baz Luhrmann rang in my mind when I read this entry...

"Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the Funky Chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half-chance, so are everybody else's."

Musang said...

alamak. why are we starting to be desperate? since when? must be the brokeback mountain had done something to you paul. giving you such ideas.

well. i'm alone now. all alone. and of course, i'll be someone successful and rich. then i go and be someone sugardaddy. hahahak. my brilliant idea.

anyway. i'm one traditional girl. i just want my man to come and pick me from the crowd and live happily ever after.

*crossed fingers for you and me*

Petie said...

Marraige is declining in Japan as more and more women are in the work force and became more independent.

They no longer wants to be trap in the house doing the household chores while their husband doing none of that :PP

I guess we mighte see the begining of 'When Women Rules' :PP

Michael said...

Lovely post. I feel you. I've been alone for a long time now. I'm OK with it, but not SO OK that I won't give it up in a New York minute for the right guy.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...someone who's been in love is more beautiful than the one who haven't...even if that someone lost his love ;)

Cheer up dear. Your time will come soon..

Anonymous said...

Paul

I am sure you will come across your dream guy to embark on a monogamous journey. All the best!

akihisa said...

I've never had the experience of falling in love yet. Not knowing the feeling of sharing your hapiness and sadness with a partner. I think that is the saddest part than being alone. *sigh*

Musang is thinking of setting up a lonely and sad fabulous guy club. I think I'll be the first to sign up !!! ;-p

Squido said...

Ai~ i can relate to this. I want to be independent and i am. It's like caging an animal, unless it does want to be caged lah.

Seriously, you may be a bree-in-making but i don't want to wash the dishes, laundry or make dinner.

And yes, the die-old-and-alone part, i'll get a dog as my partner. It's loyal, trustworthy and won't leave you in the middle of the night.

Also you won't get jealous if your dog looks at other humans or come home late and sits on the couch watching tv and drinking beer xDD!

ça va pas la tête said...

I am one 'unpolished' but happy gem, Paul.

I guess the most important of it all is you know what you want in life. ;)

Anonymous said...

Lusty children? That sounds more like one of those fathers we read about in the papers every so often. No, you definitely don't wanna go there!

Hey, what's happened to that highly polished gem then? Haven't grabbed it then?

Jay said...

Who knows, the unpolished gem you pick up might even have really big biceps.

Anonymous said...

Well - another great article again! :-)

I can understand where you're coming from! I've been single myself too long and the independence streak has shaped my current life as it is! Sharing my life now would be a scary thought myself but then again, I would do anything to be in a stable relationship! So what are your vital statistics? Send me your details :-)

On a serious note, I hope you find the love you deserved!

Anonymous said...

I really understand these women, who want to fulfil their career plans or dreams. It's not like they don't want to lean on someones (strong) shoulder, but there are few men who accept having a relationship with a woman who rather wants to travel around the world, than sit at home taking care of the children.
I always think of marrying at the earliest at 35 (if Robbie Williams is still free then ;) after having my name placed in some history book, of at least somewhere in the final credits of a movie.
Of course no-one can predict his future, maybe I'll meet someone next week, fall head over heels for him and elope within 24 hours.
Just like my sister who marries a man she met only two weeks ago. Saturday they got engaged, and I already bought a dress for next weeks ceremony at the registry office. I know this seems rash but she asked me "why waiting, when I knew the moment I saw him?" Surely it helps that she always dreamed of marrying and being a housewife. (Thank God he is a nice, decent man from a great family who'll treat her like a princess.)
Sorry, I got a little carried away here, I think I wanted to say that you shouldn't worry, I think that everyone gets what he wishes in the end.
So, happy gemhunting :o)

Bobby Xanadu said...

Paul darling...you're fabulous...and some man someday is going to be very, very fortunate to have you as a life partner. As you said, the assholes out there are a dime a dozen...but there are those unpolished gems just waiting to be discovered. I am with you in my search for that...but in the meantime, I enjoy being single as much as I can. Being single has its perks, too. :)

Anonymous said...

I just don't want to end up being eaten by my pet hamsters.

Anonymous said...

Don't even know how I made it to your webpage, most likely through Jay's and couldn't help having a great laugh reading about ur life. Anyway, keep up the great writting and will definitely hit your site more often.

savante said...

Daniel, don't give up on love :)

What a cool speech, mark. Where exactly did that come from!

musang, always been desperate. You just didn't notice my quiet desperation.

Why is staying at home considered that bad? I like doing household chores.. I just don't have the time for it, Pete!

Michael... only question is when will the right guy come along?

pakcik.. losing a love.. hmm.. guess you are right :)

tropical guy, I need to find that dream guy of mine. Damn, he's taking a long time appearing.

ahmad, tell musang to sign me up too!

squido... but a dog can't do other stuff like .. well, unless you're into bestiality :)

cava glad you're a gem!

See some unpolished gems but it's stuck in the mud, weeshiong and taking so long to dig out. Even with the big biceps, jay :)

My vital stats are pretty well known by now since I've moaned enough about it, ian. I'm 29, hideous homely, stand about 172 cm and weigh in at 70ish kg depending on the diet that week.

camydi, you are right. It's difficult to find a non traditional man who'll allow his wife to go gallivanting on trips.. but hey, I am such a man.

Perks of being single? What's that, ziggy :p

Totally agree with ya, jamie. It's just gross/

Thanks, qua vadis! Glad you came by.

Paul

Anonymous said...

So, well, r u into a girl or a guy, dude? You're pretty much into guys, but you somehow wish that you could miraculously turn out to be like your parents too.

Well, miracles do happen, Paul. We just gotta keep working on them. Trust me. I don't have any intention to brag about it, but, I am living proof that miralces do happen. This means that hopes are not all lost. Yet. As long as we keep working on what we want, or are trying to achieve.