Everyone has them. Little niggling doubts and fears that we try to bury deep inside hoping no one sees. Even the most seemingly confident have their achilles heel, perhaps hidden beneath multilayers of pompous false bravado but it's there, that little inextinguishable weakness and self doubt.
Even Sweetheart Sam this seemingly smooth, self-assured guy finds himself doubting his relationship. Look, I honestly find Sam one of the most awesome guys I know. If you're in trouble stuck in a ditch somewhere, this is the guy you'd call. ( Of course if you murdered someone, I'm the guy you'd call ) Cute enough, certainly no ravishing male model - and why would he want to be? - but he's just about the nicest guy ever. Seriously he's so sweet, diabetics can't even go near him for fear of falling into a coma.
God probably planned our meeting so I'd repent for my sins. Me, I think his boyfriend is one lucky bugger.
I'm a nice guy! Really! Ask anyone!
And yet he finds himself doubting his relationship, searching for faults when there are none. Afraid that he might be too much of a Mr-Nice-Guy, just a slippery slope from that dependable doormat who gets taken for a ride. Mixed metaphors, I know. But seriously, when did being a nice guy turn into a fault? According to his bosom buds, a surfeit of goodness leads to inevitable boredom in the long run.
Hell, did Prince Charming know all this?
So Sam worries.
But then I tell him all of us have doubts of our own. Charming Calvin with his monthly dose of insecurities, Big Bicep Barry with his gym bag of doubts... hell, even me. Sometimes I look into the mirror at the veritable Hunchback of Notredame in my reflection and I wonder. But that moment of weakness is brief. I know my self worth. It's not based on something as ephemeral as looks ( though I wouldn't mind transforming into Chris Evans ). Not even based on my wealth of which I have none.
Sam : How do you remain so ...
Paul : Arrogant, overly confident bastardlike?
Sam : I wasn't going to say that.
Paul : Because I know myself. I know my faults. I know my weaknesses. If you don't like me then you can just fucking shove off the nearest gorram cliff.
Sam : That's what I mean.
Paul : I think it's the crunchy cereal I take in the morning.
And if being a Mr Nice Guy leads to his boyfriend leaving him, I'd be happy enough to lend some poison.