Friday, January 25, 2008

Lazing with Lorelei and Her 27 Dresses

Certainly having a very feminine week.

Not that I've been tottering around in skyscraper heels and waving a clingy feather boa at the adoring masses but I've been going out with girlie girls all week. First, clothes-shopping for my niece the other day and now mall-hopping with my new girlfriend, Lissome Lorelei.

If you'd recall, she's the one who seemed to know way more about me ( how disconcerting! ) than I did about her at our first meeting - who greeted me with such crazy cheery aplomb chattering busily away a mile a minute while I stood there confused wondering where the fuck I'd seen her before! Somehow it seemed that my notoriety - and the three degrees of separation in the gay world - had preceded me.

Still, her wacky enthusiasm's surprisingly infective.

Lorelei : You're straight? Muahahaha. Tell me another one!
Paul : I know!

Enough that I was irresistibly swayed into tagging along with her on a shopping trip. Another chance to play dress-up doll - but with a live adult version? I am so there.

Lissome Lorelei turned out to be no crazed stalker as I'd half suspected but a really fun, sunshiney ( is that even a word ) person. Think Energizer Bunny - but in a skirt. And boobs too of course. Something tells me she's also a member of the Bright Brainy Bachelorettes.

Surprisingly for such a wild woolly gal, Lorelei turned out to be far more conservative convent novitiate than seductive sea siren. At least fashion-wise. When I leaned towards the slink and the bling to show off her booty, she seemed horrified and clutched at her breasts in the time-honoured fearful virgin stance - obviously far more comfortable with her high-collared Victorian dresses.

Paul : Trust me. That dress back there made you look fat. Hell, it would have made Kate Moss look fat.

But I persuaded her with my pointed argument that she ain't gonna catch no red-blooded fella dressed like Fraulein Maria cantering up the hills of Salzburg. Not unless he has an inexplicable ( and extremely disturbing ) fetish for singing nuns.

In the end we compromised between naughty and nice - with a chic Blair Waldorf prep-girl ensemble. A string of pearls and lace stockings, a sure combination almost no man can resist. Like any good gay pal though, I also convinced her to try super-sizing her bra cups with several valiant attempts to stuff her minicups into D cups. Sure, we wouldn't want to mistake them for mountains but that doesn't mean we'd want a proposal for a flight strip either.

All in a crazy bid to push her towards our fellow colleague Brash Brandon so she can ascertain for certain his wavering sexual proclivities :P


Running Dan said...

More shopping for women's clothes? Okay, shopping for little girl's clothes is one thing, but how do you put up with shopping with a lady?

Lewis said...

"Tottering in feather boas for the masses"? Holy smokes! Sounds like Evita all over again. Asian style!

glog said...

Gosh, are all gay guys into dressing up women?
So Queer Eye Carson la...
Me too actually...

Robson Soda said...

Okay with you? I am going to ask partnership with my blog, I would like vc adding my link on your, well I will do the same with the meu.Please, help me please.Um big hug.


Shah & Drew said...

I couldn't get past the first picture. Where do you find them? Gosh, my abs hurt...

dazedblu* said...

Is this something to watch out?

Fable Frog said...

phuh!! woman took long time to make up their mind~!!! so i guess you are good at playing dress-up doll~ ;)

savante said...

But they just have some fabulous frocks, dan!

Evita in feather boas, lewis?!

True. Very Carson of me, glog!

Will do so, robson. Mail me.

Makes you smile, doesn't it, shah?

Not sure, dazedblu. The rotten tomatoes ratings for 27 dresses wasn't that great.

I am good at that, fable :P